Hannah
Everyone has a different palette and sometimes things people love are the same foods people hate. However, there are some foods that we should refuse to accept that anyone actually likes and assume they’re just pretending to enjoy them.
I’m not talking about the people who have a specific gene mutation that makes cilantro taste bad or the gross gluten-free, sugar-free garbage people have to eat because of dietary restrictions. It’s the foods that people say “it’s an acquired taste!” when handing to you. This is code for “this is disgusting and I have Stockholm Syndrome for it now because my grandma made me eat it as a child.”
If you think you like any of these things, you can stop pretending now. You’re safe here.
1. What am I? Chopped liver?
Everything I eat at Rosh Hashanah.
Chopped liver, gefilte fish, kugel (noodles with cottage cheese and raisins). Everything is described as an “acquired taste,” which is code for “not good.” –gpsrx
2. No thank you.
Liver and pig’s feet.
I eat all types of food. I eat sushi, caviar, oysters, beef heart, tongue, etc but those two foods in particular have a certain taste that just broadcasts what they are, and it isn’t positive. –knowses
3. This is poison.
Those bitter gross leaves in some salads.
Those are weeds, not food. Healthy doesn’t mean it needs to taste like poison. –Braxton81
4. Then they get stuck in your teeth. No thanks.
Sprinkles!
People pretend to like them because they’re cute but in reality, they ruin whatever they are on. Leave my cupcake alone with your glittery crunchy nasty bullsh*t. –Lifeisjust20
5. Imagine it’s beef jerky.
Well done steak.
It destroys the flavor and texture. You may as well just save yourself some money and buy chicken instead. -polly_pocket1989
6. It’s not good.
Miracle Whip.
To quote Kyle Kinane, “mayonnaise doesn’t go bad, it just becomes Miracle Whip. That extra tang in there, you know what that is? Patience.” –konydanza
7. People in the ’50s were deranged.
Fruit cake.
Do people actually eat that? I feel like it works better as a doorstop. -tillodapillow
8. Loved by grandpas and that’s it.
Jägermeister.
It tastes like a syrup version of black licorice. It’s one of those alcohols that are so good the very first time you drink it and it’s all downhill. It just takes one bad hangover and/or repainting your toilet. -AlexJenkinss
9. It tastes like sour nothing.
Coconut Water.
If I wanted to drink taint sweat I would just collect my own. –whooky-booky
10. Please stop making me eat this.
Kale.
Sure, I’d love a sandpaper salad! Apparently, you’re supposed to massage kale before eating it raw. -the5thbeagle
11. Well, that’s one way to put it.
Cottage cheese.
It’s the Devil’s yeast infection. -PlatypusPajamas
12. Is it all a conspiracy?
Candy Corn?
There is a conspiracy that in the 1880s “Big Sugar” had found a way to sell their low-grade sugar by mixing it with edible wax and selling it to children called “candy corn”
If someone “likes” candy corn they are an alien who is trying to “fit in” with humanity, cause people weren’t supposed to like candy other than as fake gag food. -dontcareitsonlyreddi
13. Foodies need to chill.
Uni (sea urchin).
Tastes like rusty nails and explodes the rusty nail juice in your mouth like a boba. Chefs talk about how they love it but I think people say they like it to get foodie cred. -dolorousbread
14. It’s a fake cake.
Fondant. The basic rule is that fondant is used on cakes in lieu of tastier icings (like buttercream) because fondant’s main purpose is decoration. But any cake that’s “strong enough” to hold all of your fondant decoration without falling apart is a cake that’s not concerned about being delicious. Most majorly-fondant-decorated cakes that I’ve ever had are dry, dense, and lacking in flavor.
As far as I’m concerned, if we’re supposed to eat your cake, it needs to be delicious. I don’t care if it looks like a rocket ship. –ijustwanttobeinpjs
15. Australians are shaking.
Marmite.
There’s literally a series of adverts made by the company where the whole premise is ‘This shit tastes so terrible that even the slightest scraping will make you vomit.’ They’re not even pretending anymore. One of those foods people hate that isn’t food as much as it is an inter-office dare to see just what nasty bullsh*t they can convince people to eat. –Portarossa
16. Stockholm syndrome.
Kombucha. For anyone I have heard say they like kombucha, why did you force yourself to keep drinking something you didn’t like until you developed stockholm syndrome about it? I mean, there’s a whole meme about kombucha being pretty gross. -this-is-my-name
