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People Share Bizarre Things They’ve Heard Someone Say In Their Sleep (50 Tweets)

Everyone has heard you shouldn’t wake a sleepwalker because t can be dangerous for the waker-upper and the wakey-uppy (these are real terms, trust me). There seem to be no well-known rules about what to do with a sleep talker though.

Sleep talking can be really annoying for partners or roommates and there are few things as jarring as laying next to someone you think is asleep and they suddenly need to emergency-inform you of absolute nonsense.

As a huge dreamer and sleep talker myself, I have heard reports that I’ve announced in my sleep things like: “there are assassins in the McDonalds and WE NEED TO GET OUT NOW,” “we’re totally out of quarters,” and just an occasional “help” sprinkled in for good measure before rolling over and snuggling back in.

Sleep talking only leaves the other person traumatized and they don’t even know what to do with the information I’ve just given them. Should you try to wake them up, or are they in the middle of saving a McDonald’s and it would be rude to interrupt? There are no rules here, so you should probably encourage them and tell them to duck for cover whenever you feel like it.


1. Not a fun way to wake up.

2. Getting most of their exercise in their sleep.

3. Glad they stood up for themselves.

4. This is actually how they hire.

5. How do I have dreams this cool?

6. She thought about it and changed her mind.

7. What a great protector.

8. Is this a threat?

9. Waking up to Sean Connery sounds terrifying.

10. A lot of nakedness to unpack here.

11. British people are bizarre.

12. Goblins need to be cleaned too!

13. Please, please don’t think it was me.

14. This is a real partner.

15. Absolutely reckless.

16. How disrespectful!

17. I think they meant “wishing machine.”

18. He dreams of being your conductor.

19. Theaters should be funded!

20. Opening up a can of kick-*ss.

21. He does now!

22. I’m glad she forgave him.

23. Please hire me instead.

24. Let’s not talk about snakes in the bed.

25. I would never go back to sleep again.

26. No more bread!

27. Give me the chips and no one gets hurt.

28. There’s an intruder in the house.

29. How dare you take that win from him!

30. I’d like to catch a burrito.

31. Ikea furniture will do that.

32. Wanna head home and kick the dog, baby? 😉

33. You are now!

34. And creepy little fingers!

35. Guess who is never going to a hairdresser again?

36. No one does, but someone has to do it.

37. A lot of people have chicken trauma it seems.

38. Boo-ing your boo. Not a good look.

39. This is a villain origin story I like.

40. and WHAT?!

41. Catch me at a hotel tonight.

42. Perfect, I’ll join you in 2 hours now.

43. Glad to not be their mailman.

44. Lettuce pray.

45. Rye! Sourdough! POTATO!

46. He was saving her.

47. Sign me up for the trials.

48. Narrator: “She knew too much.”

49. Don’t pull the plug!

50. She’s a keeper.

 


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