Mike
With some many giant issues people seem so divided on, it can feel like we’re never going to come together. So, I say we start with the little annoying things. Things that don’t send you into a rage spiral, but will 100% spawn a “grinds my gears” moment for almost anyone. We solve this from the ground up.
1. The tiny tabs on lid seals.
Do I look like I have baby fingers, with little baby fingernails? Who are you protecting the contents from? I DON’T WANT TO SOLVE YOUR JUICE RIDDLE. I’m a “knife right through the top” guy now.
2. Restaurants that charge you to remove an item.
What kind of messed up algebra is this? Subtraction equals addition now? I saved you some sour cream, now you pass the savings on to me. Trickle-down nachonomics.
3. Folks who stay at the restaurant passed closing, so the staff all has to wait.
Please don’t be these people. Yes, you are a paying customer, but they aren’t called waiters and waitresses because they have to wait around for you to finish your 7th glass of water.
I’ve said it many times but I’ll say it again. Much like other countries have mandatory military service after high school, we need to have mandatory customer service. Everyone must wait tables for at least a year. Problem solved.
4. When city workers “fix” things like this.
Look, I’m glad you landed a city job and you only have you do just enough work to not get fired. I get it, that’s the dream. But c’mon, man.
5. IDGAF Amazon delivery drivers.
95% of the time, these folks are great, but some of these folks (especially during the holidays with overflow drivers) just don’t give a f*ck. I’ve gotten them on the roof, folded in half, and one time they just handed my package to someone walking out of the apartment complex.
This package is all I have to look forward to anymore. Please don’t take that away from me.
6. Ridiculous packaging.
First of all, how is this not illegal at this point? This seems wildly unnecessary. Like, everyone wins if you use less packaging. Maybe they just hate sea turtles?
7. Toliet paper crimes.
Yes, people who don’t simply replace the toilet paper roll on the holder are criminals. However, the real monsters are people who, rather than replacing a finished roll with a new one, will just use a bunch of almost finished rolls. What the hell? What made you like this?
8. The 3 semi-truck passing block.
First of all, if the road has more than two lanes, it is illegal for a semi to be in the far left lane. But when you’re hopped up on NoDoze and trying to make it to St. Louis by sundown you don’t really care.
9. When this happens.
This will ruin an entire day. Be it a pocket or the cord of your headphones, for some reason when it happens, it is always the final straw. I’m getting pretty angry just thinking about it so let’s move on.
10. When you’re watching a movie with someone and they refuse to put it on full screen.
Why don’t we just leave the cursor in the middle of the screen too? Why must you make everything so unnecessarily difficult? You’re just like your mother!
11. These little mfers.
So annoying to cut out. Often they mess up the fabric. Sometimes you forget one and feel it poke you. All around, these things suck.
12. Metal bedframe corners.
The Knife in the Dark. Destroyer of Shins. The inspiration for countless new swears and curses. I can feel this picture.
13. These erasers.
I had forgotten all about these awful pencils. Hadn’t used one in years until I filled out a form and all they had was one of these. What are these even made out of? You can’t fix a mistake if you are a mistake.
14. When people leave your room/office and “shut the door” like this.
This is the ultimate mom move, but many people adopt it. Here is the proper etiquette: if the door was closed when you came in, close it when you leave. Don’t remember or not sure? Ask. Never do this. Why are you doing this? No one wants this.
15. People who leave the movie theater like this.
This goes across the board for folks who have the “they pay someone to clean this” mentality. I don’t care if you bring an entire rotisserie chicken in with you. Bring it back out when you’re done. Someone being paid minimum wage should have to deal with this.