Down With The Thickness (22 Absolute Units)

Bigger doesn’t always mean better, but when something is way bigger than you expected it to be it stops you in your tracks. Absolute units aren’t just people and animals either. An absolute unit is anything with inherent thickness and a commanding presence. Anything from a particularly girthy carrot to one of those mega buff kangaroos. Thicccccc.


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Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome