Mike
Shit happens. Like, a lot.
So chances are it’ll be your turn to take the brunt of it at some point. That’s why it’s important to enjoy the times when it’s happening to someone else.
Funny fails are only hilarious with a little perspective…
1. See those eggs? They are supposed to be in the pies. I made two hot oily chocolate garbage circles.
2. Brakes locked on my ’79 Ranchero today in the rain. Not speeding, driving responsibly, nothing I could do. She’s totaled.
3. Shout out to the baker missing their nail. The worst part is I chewed on it twice thinking it was a clove of garlic because it’s a garlic and rosemary sourdough before I made the horrific realization it was a fingernail.
4. A friend bought a new $500 speaker today, tripped on the stairs 4 stories up while carrying it above his head.
5. What’s the worst thing to find after you took the last batch of cookies out? The real cinnamon.
6. GF was so proud of herself for buying raw doors, cutting in the hinges, and drilling the knob hole. I was the bearer of bad news that she did it upside down.
7. Selling sliding glass door, some assembly required.
8. Walked out my front door today and found this. I didn’t order DoorDash. Looks like someone didn’t get their lunch or maybe their dinner from last night, or maybe from a few days ago. I haven’t been outside in four days.
9. In 2003, a technician forgot to log that he had removed 24 bolts during the maintenance of the NOAA-19 satellite, causing the satellite to fall over and costing $135,000,000 in damages.
10. Found the internet.
11. Driving home from work at 110km/h (60mph) and my front end started to shake a little. I drove the rest of the way home and found this…
12. Nothing better to start your morning than dropping a full jar of glitter.
13. Nothing quite like getting to the end of your toast then realizing the bread was moldy.
14. Left my Easter egg in the sun.
15. Pro-tip: When transporting paint make sure it is properly secured. Especially if you are driving in a $90,000 Maserati.
16. Never bake cookies in a crop top.
17. Accidentally got acetone on my daughters favorite doll and made her cry when her entire face wiped off. Saw a youtube video about redoing Barbie faces. Thought I could do it. I cant. Now its a thing of nightmares and I feel even worse.
18. You shall not pass.
19. Discovered that my porcelain countertop was actually tempered glass.
20. I just dropped my debit card in that crack and it’s my only form of money. They had to take apart the self checkout machine.
21. We suck at puzzles.
