Mike
S**t happens. Like, a lot.
So chances are it’ll be your turn to take the brunt of it at some point. That’s why it’s important to enjoy the times when it’s happening to someone else.
Funny fails are only hilarious with a little perspective…
1. Autopilot brain.
2. Red Robin has pizza now, but when you customize the order it defaults to no cheese and no sauce. I didn’t notice it until I got home from curbside pickup.
3. Losing your glasses while rock climbing.
4. Was pretty excited that my Father’s Day present came early.
5. Raccoons climbed in my garage window and ate all my raccoon repellant.
6. In case of emergency.
7. Walked to work in a thunderstorm, but my boss forgot to tell me we all have today off.
8. My air conditioner stopped working for a few days. My house got so hot and humid, it sealed my entire Costco size case of envelopes.
9. One of my kids brought poison ivy into the house, now my hands look like this. Every bump is a blister.
10. I guess you shouldn’t put glass windows over the grass when it’s 22 degrees Celsius.
11. The groundskeeper accidentally sprayed weed killer instead of fertilizer on a school’s football field.
12. So I had a sneezing fit while driving yesterday and…
13. Thought I was smart for ordering a 90-degree cable for my cell phone holder.
14. Found out what my concrete steps are actually made of.
15. Brand new roll of wrapping paper wasn’t quite big enough to cover the box, too late to go out and get more, hopefully, he won’t see it?
16. After 10 years of surviving brutal abuse from my clumsy ass always dropping it, my 3DS couldn’t take it anymore.
17. Got home from work, ready to have some blueberries and wine. And then the bag broke.
18. My car this morning…
19. My new car broke down 360 miles from home. Less than a week old. On top of a mountain.
20. Got a call that I was using 350 gallons of water per hour for the past 24 hours.
21. Started my internship today. Squatted down to get my phone and my pants ripped…
22. Arizona problems: left my credit card in my car and it melted.
23. “Turned my back for a minute and she peed in 20 cups of uncooked rice…”
