Nate
Having a houseguest can be fun but only if you can trust that person to respect your space and not be such a nightmare.
Unfortunately, for these poor souls on Reddit, they were stuck with the worst houseguest ever and they’re sharing their stories. From choosy beggars to just plain trashy, these have to be the worst houseguests that ever existed. It’s honestly unbelievable that people can be this rude.
1. Party Clown Nightmare
“The clown that wouldn’t leave. It’s become a family legend. My mother hired a clown for my brother’s second or third birthday party. My mother made the mistake of offering her a cup of coffee after she was done performing and she seemed to take that as a cue to stay for a while.
Hours pass. The party guests are long gone and the clown is still there drinking the coffee chatting with my mother still in full makeup and outfit. She ended up staying the entire day until my mom got fed up and told her she had to go because she had to prepare dinner.” – asbestosSNDWICH
2. Harassing The Elderly
“Had my girlfriend, and another now ex-friend come over to my house. My grandmother on my mom’s side lived with us at the time. She had advanced Alzheimers, and could only communicate with basic phrases. She was so bad, she would pat people on their backs and say ‘good, good, good.’ She also walked around with a zip lock bag of Q-tips that she would hand out as gifts. Anyways, on this evening, said friend decided it would be funny to pants her in front of me and my girlfriend…He was promptly punched in the face and told to leave before he got hurt. I was shocked and enraged by the disrespect he showed my family and my ill grandmother. Been 20 years and still have nothing to do with him. This guy was also the friend that would open our fridge and actually drink directly from our milk…” — cliffy80
3. Party Clown Nightmare
“The clown that wouldn’t leave. It’s become a family legend. My mother hired a clown for my brother’s second or third birthday party. My mother made the mistake of offering her a cup of coffee after she was done performing and she seemed to take that as a cue to stay for a while.
Hours pass. The party guests are long gone and the clown is still there drinking the coffee chatting with my mother still in full makeup and outfit. She ended up staying the entire day until my mom got fed up and told her she had to go because she had to prepare dinner.” – asbestosSNDWICH
4. Changed The Locks
“My sister used to stop over, drink my beer, steal my wife’s clothes, make a mess, then leave. We changed the locks so she’d steal my parent’s key to get in so we stopped giving them one and somehow she’d still get in, like a damn cockroach. We have since moved far out of her visiting range.” — jonsacreep
5. Party Crasher
“A friend of a friend crashed a party at our house. He proceeded to tell everyone that he was a drug dealer and he could get them the best product. He hit on all of the married women who had not brought their husbands, punched the friend who brought him, and drove home, drunk and high. He is the only person I have banned from my house.” — Cowhaus
6. Lazy Musician
“I had a friend who needed a place to stay for a few days, so my parents let him stay at our house. He thought he could just stay longer without ever mentioning it or talking to my parents about it. He refused to find another place to live or try to make money, so he ended up staying with us for almost a month.
He would trap people in conversations where he would just talk about himself for two hours straight. He complained about us not having the foods he wanted, would not stop talking about how he was an incredible musician, and said his future plan was to go to LA despite having no job prospects, connections, a place to live, money, or any valid IDs.
Within hours of him leaving he texted me about how he wanted to come over the next day. He is not allowed at our house anymore.” – FlaxonWaxonThe3rd
7. Took The Cake
“The couple sat down at a table with a cake (which hadn’t been served it) took each a fork and started to eat it, not cutting the cake into a piece for themselves, but going back and forth with forks to mouths and to cake, smacking and slurping. Nobody else wanted any cake.” — fraubrennessel
8. “A Massive Coke Habit”
“A ‘friend’ asked to stay with me for a few days because she was having relationship problems. Turns out the relationship problems were all down to the fact she had a massive coke habit and her boyfriend was fed up with her spending all their money on it. The first night she invited 5 people who I didn’t know round after I’d gone to bed and I had work the next day. Then she just disappeared for 3 days and went on a bender, I had her boyfriend calling me worried sick and nobody knew where she was. When she finally turned up she called me a shitty friend for not covering for her. She didn’t even ask me to! Yeah, we’re not friends anymore.”
9. Got Intimate With The Couch
“Jerked off onto our cloth couch. Looked like he turned on his side, jerked off onto the back cushion and rolled over and went to sleep.” — Torchic336
10. Smashed Up The Lego Set
“Had some friends in middle school come over and smash up all the Lego sets in my room then wondered why I didn’t want them to come over again.” — Hydrosimian
11. Dirty Laundry
“Dude came over, apparently sh*t his pants and threw his heavily skid marked underwear in with my dirty laundry pile. I found my dog chewing on his underwear the next morning.” — vowelspace
12. Chipmunk Violence
“My 10yo daughter’s (ex) friend thought it would be funny to stomp a chipmunk to death. Messed up my girl big time. She never came over again.” — StrongAsMeat
13. Pain Meds
“My friend’s wife came out of our master bathroom and let us know she ‘borrowed’ some pain meds she found in the medicine cabinet. She then slept on the couch for most of the visit.” — KeepingBalance
14. The Complainer
“I had a friend who needed a place to stay for a few days, so my parents let him stay at our house. He thought he could just stay longer without ever mentioning it or talking to my parents about it. He refused to find another place to live or try to make money, so he ended up staying with us for almost a month. He would trap people in conversations where he would just talk about himself for two hours straight. He complained about us not having the foods he wanted, would not stop talking about he was an incredible musician, and said his future plan was to go to LA despite having no job prospects, connections, a place to live, money, or any valid IDs. Within hours of him leaving he texted me about how he wanted to come over the next day. He is not allowed at our house anymore.” — FlaxonWaxonThe3rd
15. Lied About A Restraining Order
“My former friend begged me to help her find a place where her special needs kiddos could stay in the same school/services where her husband wouldn’t look for her after supposedly finding questionable material on his pc. I work with special needs populations including abuse victims so it made sense to come to me I gave her an older laptop I had for her use so she could turn in the house pcs. I bought her a new phone. I took them in myself which meant giving up my actual room for several weeks and sleeping on a futon. I also spent a lot of time babysitting so she could go talk to lawyers/providers. Imagine my surprise when I went to pick up the kids from school one day when she supposedly had court to extend the restraining order and bumped into dad and grandma. Eventually, it came out that there was no restraining order, no court filings, no suspect files found. Mom had a new boyfriend and had told her husband she was divorcing him and her family wouldn’t take her in.” — Polyf*ckery
16. Roommate’s Boyfriend
“My roommate started seeing a guy who didn’t have a car and lived in the town over (about a twenty-minute drive). She would pick up him from his house and bring him to ours but she didn’t always want to drive him home the next morning because she would have to work early. This quickly turned into him staying at our apartment full time, despite protests from my second roommate and me.
After about two weeks, I noticed over $100 was missing from my wallet. He and I were the only two in our apartment all day. My wallet had been in my bedroom while I was watching TV in the living room. He’d been locked away in her room all day, but I also can’t see down the hall that led to all of our bedrooms from their living room. So it was easy to figure out that he had snuck down the hall and gotten into my wallet. But she refused to believe me.
I kept my bedroom door locked for a while and kept my valuables inside until I was able to get a camera set up. Then I left my door unlocked one day with a small amount of cash in my wallet in front of the camera to lure him. It worked like a charm and I got him on camera stealing from me again.
Showing them the video got my roommate to believe me, but he still tried to deny it. He got dumped and kicked out but I lost about $150 that I never saw again.” — jazzylovely714
17. Feeling Like A Visitor In Your Own Home
“Some family friends came over with their 30 yo son unannounced, took a nap on our sofa like full-on shoes off, made us turn off the tv bc it was too loud. Then Venmo charged us for snacks they brought even though we didn’t ask for anything. I literally felt like I was the one who was visiting.” — bbqtenders
18. When Your Mother-In-Law Jokes She’s Taking The Baby
“My MIL ‘joked’ about taking my newborn with her to her state & called me an inferior parent. 8 days post-birth. I told her I’d break her arm if she tried to leave the house with my baby. She cried because I ‘didn’t find her joke funny.'” — InfiniteItem
19. Toilet Breaker
“He cranked my dad’s speakers up to the max and blew them (they were from the 70’s so impossible to replace or repair). Then he clogged our toilet, grabbed a bunch of grandma’s quilts to sop up the water. He then tried to stop the water by violently shaking the tank, cracking the bowl, and dislodging it from its base.
In a panic he tried to bolt from the house, his wet feet slipped on the wood floor and he crashed into a wall leaving a nice body-sized impression.
That’s how my brother’s friends were barred from the house.” — F0000r
20. He Peed In The Corner
“My dad’s friend pissed in the corner of the guest room and asked for money from everyone who happened to walk by him.” — Seemose
21. She Destroyed The House
“She stole all of my booze, pissed on my couch, tore up the flower bed to the side of my driveway, and destroyed my guest bathroom. This all happened after I’d fallen asleep, she was a guest of a tenant/roommate, and that roommate was told either her friend wasn’t allowed over ever again or she’d have to find a new place to live.” — amalgamas
22. Drained Dry
“One of my best buddies from high school called me up and begged for me to come to get him from a town about three hours away. The idea was he would stay with us for a couple of weeks while he looked for work and then get his own place. Six months later I ended up renting him a room for one month and dropping him off with his junk and wishing him well. His father had warned me he would ‘drain me dry’ and he wasn’t kidding. All those months he was supposedly using my vehicle to look for work he was instead going out to a local bar. Every bottle in our liquor cabinet was drained down to the last finger.” — squidazz
23. Peanutbutter Raccoon
“One of my old friends was down on her luck, got drunk, and crashed on our couch (our first ever brand new sofa). While my fiance and I were asleep she dug through our cabinets, opened a new jar of peanut butter, and scooped out a handful like a raccoon. Then proceeded to leave the jar out with her fingernail marks still on the top and then wipe her hand off on the couch after eating peanut butter from her gross dirty fist. When we asked about it in the morning she lied to us and said she used a fork and it was our fault for not having more vegan snacks for her.” — gagagagaNope
24. Three Messy Dogs
“Couple came for a weekend to my small apartment…surprised that they brought 3 dogs and an extra friend. The puppy took a dump on my floor in the night, which nobody got up to clean. Another dog had a crate but managed to get a hold of a carpet outside of the crate, drag it in, and shred it. They also chewed up cardboard and wooden furniture. When they left, all the shredded stuff was just where it fell.” — neon_dave
25. A Baby’s Birth And Beyond
“My mom’s cousin and her husband went for a short visit to our house. She was five months pregnant then. She and her husband didn’t leave until the baby was two months old.” — MinutesTaker
26. That’s Not What Guest Towels Are For
“Instead of asking where the toilet paper is, they let their kid wipe his ass with our guest towels.” — __Dawn__Amber__
27. Beggars Can’t Be Choosers
“Childhood friend from another country asked if she could come over sometime in summer. I tell her that sounds like fun and I’ll let her know when I’m available.
She then proceeded to book flights with no option to cancel or change the flight, staying for 3 full weeks without discussing this with me first. I’m in college, and 2 out of those 3 weeks were my finals.
She then complained the entire time, expected me to pay for everything, and was in the worst mood ever. Needless to say, the day she left was the best day that summer.” — IndilEruvanda
28. Snooping Parents
“My parents came over and started snooping through my closet while I was making tea. They found some sex toys and proceeded to get mad at me for having them. In my own house. In my own bedroom. They wouldn’t have found them if they would’ve behaved like normal people.” — UnusualRedditter
29. The Beatboxer
“My old roommate told me she had a friend who had fallen on rough times and needed a spot to crash for a while. No worries, I told her. Oooh, big worries. He was a professional beatboxer, but more that he was a professional smoker. Like, I’m fine with weed generally, but this dude was on 12-15 blunts a day, and would roll one as soon as he rolled his tighty-whitey clad ass off of our couch. So for like 4 months, as soon as I woke up, it was nothing but clouds of white owl and “BRRRRMMMCHKCHK-FRKAFRKACHCKABRRRRMMM. He didn’t fall on rough times. He WAS a rough time.” — whitebabyjesus
30. Hair Dye Mess
“She got red hair dye all over my white bath towels and acted like she hadn’t noticed and it wasn’t from her own freshly-dyed hair. Like dude, if you would have said something when it happened, I could have bleached and saved them…” – AgencyShift1480
31. Redecorated The Room With Pictures Of Themselves
“My aunt came to visit for what was supposed to be a week or two and didn’t leave for almost a year when I was a kid. She redecorated my room and even put up pictures of herself. Now the running joke in my family is to randomly leave pictures of yourself around the house when we visit people.” — slams-head-on-desk
32. Mummified Cat Poop
“My uncle and his wife came to stay for a while. They got my room and I slept on the couch for a few months (NBD when you’re a kid I guess). What actually ticked me off is that when they finally left we found out that they’d seriously messed up my room. Everything reeked of cigarettes, there were ground-up peanut shells in the carpet, cigarette burns on my mattress, etc…And we couldn’t figure out why the room smelled like death until we lifted up the bed and found mummified cat sh*t stuck up in the shag carpeting. They either had such bad hygiene that they didn’t notice the smell or they knew and they just didn’t care.” — SquilliamFancySon95
33. When The Houseguest Dies In The Bathroom
“My dad owned a business his whole life and was in the process of hiring new installers. One applicant came in from out of town and my dad, being the kind man he was, offered for him to stay in our home. When the morning came the man went to take a shower. My parents heard the water turn on and it stayed on for a really long time. After an hour and a half of running water, my mom made my dad go check on him. My dad went upstairs, picked the lock on the bathroom door, and found blood and a limp body on the floor next to the running shower. The man had overdosed, lost consciousness, hit his head on the shower side, and died. He was DEAD. Right there on the bathroom floor that I used for 10 years. One thing is for sure, he won’t be coming back to our house again.” — A_Hale
34. Prank Caller
“That would be the girl visiting my sister-in-law who decided it would be funny to repeatedly prank call 911. I got a very angry call from the local police station saying we either stopped or they’d be sending a squad car over. Apologized profusely to the officer and thanked him for calling us first. She was not invited back to her house, she was 17 and definitely old enough to know better.” — zerbey
35. Used Condoms
“Sister-in-law house sat when we were out of town. There were tons of disrespectful presents left for us – a cookie crumb trail of condom wrappers, which lead to an actually used condom, like WTF? But the worst was after cleaning all that up, which was just aggravating and stupid… there was a putrid smell I couldn’t put my finger on. Until I finally opened a draw in the dresser in the guest room – she had left a takeout container in there, half an omelet that had gone rancid. I gotta hope she just had to go quick and forgot all that crap was there when she left. Either way, we took our key back from her.” — Billbaporno