Mike
S**t happens. Like, a lot.
So chances are it’ll be your turn to take the brunt of it at some point. That’s why it’s important to enjoy the times when it’s happening to someone else.
Funny fails are only hilarious with a little perspective…
1. My boss’s secretary quit this morning after delivering breakfast.
2. The box said 3000 pieces. A week of quarantine tells me it’s 2999.
3. Went fishing, caught two branches in a row, went to take a sip of my Arizona, except there was a bee in it.
4. Received this today. Kinda resembles my mental state.
5. What the hell is even the point of a note like this!
6. “Stainless steel”, two weeks old.
7. Halfway into the pizza, noticed there’s a huge footprint inside the pizza box.
8. Ordered a Gromit coffee mug online…
9. A brand new box of nails forgotten outside for four days 🙁
10. Got home from vacation only to find out our fridge and freezer have been dead for 10 days.
11. The current heatwave has caused my glass table to explode (all over my freshly painted decking)
12. Had a sandwich from the market wrapped from the deli like they wrap meat in the meat department. Didn’t grab the sandwich one this morning.
13. Cat went under my covers to throw up…
14. Bought my first house and it came with a shed. Turns out the previous owner wired the shed himself and rewired parts of the house.
15. Guess who ran out of paint…
16. My uncle rode his motorcycle from Florida to New York. Just before he got to my house his phone slipped out of his pocket on the highway.
17. Was in a middle seat and paid extra money to upgrade to a “window” seat.
18. Bought some raw honey for the 1st time at a Farmers Market. Knocked it off the counter getting something else out of the bag.
19. The neighbors cut down the shade trees in my yard without permission and now I have to look at their ugly ass garage which was not visible before.
20. I have 7 wisdom teeth. I am probably in the 0.0001% but at a wrong competition. (35% have 0 and the rest usually 1-4) The dentist was surprised more than I was.
21. Had my 1st music gig since my city reopened after 6 months of no gig income. A guy interrupted my set to give me this “tip”.
22. Just finished weather sealing the roof, as I was exiting the bus the handle snapped.. right in the middle of my driveway.
23. Bird made its nest in my mop.
