Nate
The Simpsons is one of television’s longest-running shows. They’re currently on their 33rd season, and people still love it. You can imagine that over the last 30+ years that they’ve written some pretty funny jokes, but how do you pick a favorite?
In a recent AskReddit thread, Simpsons fans are sharing their favorite quotes and it’s making me want to go back and watch some of these great episodes.
1.
“We’re talking about S. E. X! In front of the C. H. I. L. D. R. E. N!”
“SEX CAULDRON!? I thought they closed that place down?!”
— CCSucc
2.
Chief Wiggum: “mind if I tag along… I’m a bit of a crime buff”
3.
Bart: “Hey, can I hold your bb gun?” Nelson: “Sure, it never hurts to have another set of prints on a gun.”
— himtnboy
4.
“I sleep in a racing car. Do you?”
“I sleep in a big bed with my wife.”
“…..oh.”
5.
Max Power: Kids, there’s three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart Simpson: Isn’t that the wrong way?
Max Power: Yeah, but faster!
— PRod187
6.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Marge.”
Remains silent.
7.
Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts
8.
“My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!”
9.
Just once I’d like someone to call me Sir without adding “you’re making a scene.”
10.
“Trying is the first step towards failure.”
11.
“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try”
12.
“Surely you can’t place a premium on your family’s life,” the home security salesman says when he knocks on Homer’s door.
“I wouldn’t have thought so, either,” Homer says, “but here we are.”
— Wrigt31
13.
Ralph Wiggum: “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.”
Chief Wiggum: “The baby looked at you?”
— bigsz
14.
“No no no, dig UP stupid”
— toinezor
15.
It’s gotta be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield’s answer to a question no one asked!
16.
The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.
17.
“I bring you love”
“it’s bringing love, don’t let it get away!”
“Break its legs!”
— Wantegg
18.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel. – Homer
19.
“That’s my son up there!” “What, the balding fat-ass?” “Uh no the… Hindu guy”
20.
Lisa likes Nelson! She does not! Milhouse likes Lisa! He does not! Janey likes Milhouse! She does not! Üter likes Milhouse! Nobody likes Milhouse!
21.
“If you don’t like your job, you don’t go on strike; you go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way!”
22.
You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing a towel.
23.
“I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me.”
— ronchee1
24.
Homer: Mr. Burns, you’re the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Ahh yes…but I’d trade it all for a little more.
25.
“It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times? STUPID MONKEYS!”