17 Times People Asked The Internet To Identify Something And The Answers Were, Uhhh, Weird

In the time of ChatGPT and Google, it’s rare that we can’t find an answer quickly.

Any answer. To any question. Well, almost any.

For those that fall through the cracks we have Reddit’s “What Is This Thing?” where people share pics of stuff they see in the wild and the “experts” have an opportunity to weigh in.

Here are some of the weirdest answers to the most bizarre items we’ve seen on the sub.

1.

Reddit

Answered by u/Raymo853:

You [m]ay want to talk to an attorney about the ramifications of removing this from Croatian waters. You may need to pay the country a fee based on assessed value, be subject to fine or prison, or force[d] to return these pieces of their cultural heritage.

Posted by a former Redditor: 

Croatian art historian-conservator here.

I won’t go at lengths about why I don’t think it’s any kind of Buddhist/Hindu icon since others have already suggested that. I’ll just add the context is just clearly off for it to be one.

Assuming you’ve actually emerged it from the waters poses some interesting clues as well as questions for me. First of all, Croatian waters have previously “unearthed” interesting discoveries. A tourist found in 1999 what is today considered to be one of the most significant ancient Greek athlete statues. It is significant due to the fact it is an almost fully preserved bronze statue from a shipwreck – not many of them remain in this metal – but when found it also had layers of algae and seaweeds from years of exposure, which needed to be cleaned up. Your statuette, on the contrary, does not seem to have been underwater long enough for it to receive cohabitants. And if it did, the sudden change of habitat would have made lasting changes to it. So, can you give us more insight into the exact site of your discovery perhaps?

Secondly, it would be appropriate to give also the approximate geographical whereabouts. Has it been located off the north or south coast? Near which island or peninsula? This insight could also shed some light on what another poster suggested about a prehistoric anthropomorphic figure. See, the north coast has been a vast valley of the river Po roughly at the height of the last Ice Age and many prehistoric finds are made there to this day. This area was fit for plant and animal life, thus also the hunter-gatherer Paleolithic communities. But without more clues I can’t help you out with that.

Additional information from the OP u/EazyBreezy1111:

Wow, this is amazing, cheers for your time.

I found it near Pula in the north, I’m not sure of the exact town name but it was very near Pula in any case. It was in/on a reef off the coast. I don’t believe it was encrusted with anything, just covered in a bit of dirt that came off easily.

If you need any other info I’m happy to help as best I can.

Answered by a former Redditor: 

Without further ado, Pula – caves in its close proximity called San Daniele (Šandalja if we go by the vernacular)… – is home to one of the most significant prehistoric findings in our area. Excavations there gave signs of the earliest life on this side of the Adriatic coast. Was this location you were diving somewhere remote; i.e., off the beaches, where it was not possible for someone to just leave it there?

If we take this hyper-sci-fi but very simple theory to the next level, which I’m becoming convinced is not crazy anymore, and judge the artifact by its artistic characteristics – it won’t be as old, as primitive due to its finer workmanship and presuming it’s bronze. The most significant layer in Šandalja II, layer ‘b’, the depth of somewhere between 1 and 3 m, was carbon-dated to 12,320 B.C – that is the European Upper Paleolithic approximately 10,000 B.C., so there is sign of Cro-Magnon life in the vicinity.

I’m flabbergasted and stoked for this to even be a possibility to consider – since it would be a fantastically preserved artifact. Also by your naivety never to question it and just taking it away. If a good comparative analysis is to be done, some archaeologist might be able to go more in-depth. Someone mentioned Vinča culture, which thrived in nearby Serbia, and its statuettes bearing resemblances, and looking at them this [way] isn’t totally out of whack. Vinča is Neolithic, so at this stage of development handling bronze would not be an issue, I guess? They were amazingly technologically advanced.

I don’t know, really. Before coming to any fastened conclusions, I suggest taking a few close-ups of it and getting back at us, but if this sub overwhelmingly agrees that this isn’t factory produced…

…I have one person in mind at my uni who will have a definitive answer if it’s worth pursuing or not – a specialist in Vučedol culture who spent half a lifetime researching it in Slavonia. I don’t know them personally but through mutual acquaintances. Still, this would be your best shot.

Update:

Hey man, figured I’d get back to ya after hearing with my friend.

She looked at the photos and also counseled herself with other friend archaeologists. I’m afraid they did not come out with anything – the statuette does not resemble any established motives from any prehistoric cultures in this area. That is not to say it might not be a unique find. It’s just that the odds are… well: slim.

They still advised if you’d [insist] on finding… or getting a straightforward answer to give you an official address… But that’s about it. Cheers!

2.

Reddit

Answered by u/BeggarMidas:

A closer look at the stone and wire “necklace” would help pin it down further… But almost certainly a poppet. With the materials being used, it’s either invoking a very specific spiritform or a stand in/proxy for a practitioner.  

Most likely to aid in conception, or to ward against evil intent/spirits that might harm the fetus. If this was found close to a chimney or kitchen could be a “kitchen witch” as well. Still beneficial in intent.

NOT *REPEAT* NOT A VODOU DOLL! Those sorts of dolls require hair from the host, clothing items they had worn, etc. Things of a very personal nature. Which this doll lacks.

3.

Reddit

Additional information by OP u/Poopermensch:

Looks like maybe a medical model? The woods are by a university.

Answered by u/SeagullsGonnaCome:

…You kinda answered it by saying it was near a university. It’s probably real, a donated specimen, that they are doing forensic tests on. Some forensic schools do testing for standardization comparisons for crime scenes. 

AKA, FBI finds bones in the woods. But how long have they been here? Well, they can compare against known values of weathering on bones from research studies…

Answered by u/DogfishDave:

24 vertebrae, looks human. Let the local police know, if it’s part of a uni experiment (or similar) then they should know about it. I’m surprised it’s placed as it is with no identifying data to avoid people ringing the police… so it’s their own fault if you do.

4.

Reddit

Answered by u/OrdinaryOrder8

Unmistakably deadly nightshade (Atropa belladonna). I hope he will be okay. Please update us if you’re able to. Unfortunately these berries have a sweet flavor and look appealing to little kids…

Update from the OP:

Reading up on the symptoms, it seems he had very mild ones. Super thankful he is all right…

Important Note From The Mod Orichalcon:

This plant has been identified as Deadly Nightshade (Atropa belladonna.) OP’s son ate some of the fruit, experienced mild poisoning symptoms and was treated by a local emergency room. The child is now okay. The doctor commented that the child was lucky he did not consume more of the fruit. This occurred in the UK.

This demonstrates the importance of not eating random plants you find in the wild and keeping an eye on children around wild plants. This isn’t always an easy task so you should be prepared.

If in doubt, call poison control for advice (link below to all poison control phone numbers worldwide). If you’re unable to talk to anyone on the phone, take the person or animal who has ingested the plant material straight to the doctor/emergency room or vet/emergency vet…

Note: It is important to note that you should NOT induce vomiting if you think a poison has been consumed. There is a risk of choking on vomit, and plants can sometimes be toxic in a caustic way, meaning you will cause more damage by vomiting. Always let medical professionals make the decision whether to induce vomiting.

5.

Reddit

Answered by u/CaveCattus:

It could be a Kuman Thong, some sort of protective amulet from Thailand. I can’t find that exact same one, but the idea seems the same. But I am also not from there, so hopefully there will be Thai Redditors who can correct me if I’m wrong.

It’s supposed to “enshrine” the spirit of an infant and turn it into your personal protector (the origins of that makes for creepy reading, by the way…) And its specific purpose (money, health, general luck, etc.) would depend on the yantra characters inscribed on it.

But yours has so many characters, [so it] must be super lucky…

More seriously, maybe it was made for the tourism market or as a piece of art rather than an actual amulet, which explains the markings being so many and so well distributed.

I hope we will get some replies from people from Thailand though, because now I’m curious as well.

Wikipedia has a short article about the Kuman Thong history, but here’s a Thai site that actually sells them with a more, er…practical? description: Kuman Thong or Guman Tong.

Answered by u/Thebatsem:

I second this: Kuman Thong (กุมารทอง) is some sort of ghost or supernatural entity. Think of it as [a] Thai Annabelle doll; by keeping the doll you can control and command it to do ghost stuff [like haunt people, hunt others, or worse.] Some believe it can bring wealth and keep you away from illness. 

Here’s an article: “How to keep your Kuman Thong.”

6.

Reddit

Answered by u/Outrageous-Spread-82:

Female wingless wasp. AKA: A cow killer. AKA: A velvet ant. 

Lucky you didn’t get a bad sting…

Answered by u/RupeeRoundhouse:

Ah, the female of an old favourite, Dasymutilla, and likely of D. occidentalis.

Handle with extreme care as it has one of the most painful stings in the world. The stinger is also incredibly long and incredibly flexible, able to sting at almost any angle.

Answered by u/Starchasm:

I GASPED when I saw they were HOLDING it!

7.

Reddit

Answered by u/LynxBartle:

It is a “request” for financial wealth.

Some occult practices use pennies as offerings to request future prosperity.

Why the pumpkin? It is merely a vessel for the pennies…

Answered by u/TheChgz:

I knew of a tree in the UK that famously had thousands of pennies from hundreds of years ago (and modern) for this exact reason. I know they cut it down about 10 years ago because it had died and it became a health hazard. But it’s what I thought of when I first saw this.

8.

Reddit

Answered by u/LuLzWire:

This is a gnarly piece OP… I read that if you can guarantee that this is natural… and with a formation like that inside, you could catch a really, really, really nice price for it. Collectors LOVE stuff like this. Awesome find.

Answered by u/cheese_*its_mobile:

This is how religions are formed.

9.

Reddit

Answered by u/cornstalkerwalker:

Don’t touch that! It’s a wildlife recorder. 

Someone is probably doing research on the birds, bats, or frogs (probably frogs given how low it is) in the area. Scientists leave those out there for long periods of time to record the sounds of animals, then take the recordings back to estimate population, habitat health, and lots of other things. If you remove it from that tree all [you’re] going to be doing is making a grad student cry ‘cuz they are expensive and they can’t afford to be losing them.

10.

Reddit

Answered by u/winterbird:

They usually travel in pairs. Was this poor guy without a mate?

Answered by u/BlinkyShiny:

Fakeus eyelashicus.

Update from the OP u/meatybone:

I’m an idiot. It wasn’t moving so I thought it was dead. I didn’t want to touch it because of all the warnings I see here about furry caterpillars…

I guess I gotta leave this up now. 🙄 Y’all are killin’ me…

11.

Reddit

Answered by u/scoop444:

My guess is someone’s [child] died near or as a result of someone crashing into that pole. They probably wrap a new bear every year on the anniversary of their death…

12.

Reddit

Additional information from the OP

Answered by u/incruente:

These look like watch hands…

Answered by u/bdsmlurker2988:

Watch parts used to be and maybe still are kept in tiny vials like that and they look like watch hands.

Question from u/dangerpoint:

Hard to tell from the picture, but could the watch hands have originally been painted with radium?

Sometimes people will collect (almost) all the different elements in similar vials as a hobby. You can buy vials with radium watch hands for this purpose.

Also, Geiger-counter enthusiasts will collect radioactive samples to test and calibrate their equipment.

Answered by u/end_amd:

Radium painted hands will have a green paint on them [that] glow in the dark. Unlike more modern glow-in-the-dark paints, radium does not need sunlight to charge its glow and will glow whether it’s been in a dark cabinet for an hour or three days. Without a Geiger counter that’s generally the way to tell. If they are radium don’t freak out. It’s a relatively safe amount of radiation as long as you don’t sleep with them or lick them.

13.

Reddit

Answered by u/dblstkd123:

I think it means Satan has been trying to contact you about your expiring car warranty.

Answered by u/Incogcneat-o:

It means the people who used to own your house watched too much television. https://www.reddit.com/r/Supernatural/comments/8uorf6/we_were_remodeling_a_room_in_our_house_and_pulled/

Answered by u/booknerdkp:

Devil’s Trap from Supernatural.

14.

Reddit

Answered by u/GitEmSteveDave:

Probably an internal organ of some small creature that a predator discarded.

Answered by u/Anon_Jones:

It’s the stomach. My cat leaves these all over the place. 

Answered by u/NapaCheri:

I agree. Looks like a young squirrel stomach.

15.

Reddit

Answered by u/thesnowynight:

My eyes just swelled shut.

Answered by u/1961mac:

Looks like it [poison ivy]to me. You should take a good shower with dishwashing detergent and scrub every exposed inch of skin to get any oil off. Wash clothing with hot water and grease-cutting detergent. The shoes may be a goner. 

Hopefully you’re immune, but others in your household might not be and they can definitely get a rash from contaminated items. Good luck.

Update from the OP u/Jgwood99:

After about an hour of mindlessly mowing some grass I noticed the ivy. I’ve had it before, but I’ve never seen it grow so out in the open, and so much of it. Thankfully the mower I was using didn’t spit out (using a push bush-hog) so I don’t think the oil spit out to my arms/face.

Got home like an hour later and washed my legs in some Dawn and showered. Called my doc and got a prednisone prescription for a few days.

Threw all my clothes in the washer, and I might toss the boots, [upset because] they’re new…

Aaanddd now I’m waiting for [the] inevitable to catch up with me…

16.

Reddit

Additional information from the OP u/annie-costa:

Egg things on the left, vitamins on the right. Were found in a recently opened bottle of Flintstones vitamins. Searches were unproductive and the vitamin company said they have no idea what it could be.

Answered by a deleted Redditor:

They look like Flintstones Dino Eggs. It seems the wrong vitamins got mixed together maybe.

Here’s a commercial that shows them a little.

17.

Reddit

Answered by u/stan2111:

Tree Branch Muddler for stirring drinks.

…It’s a beautiful piece [of] history.

Jason

Jason Mustian

Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids.