Aimée
Strippers lead a life, unlike anything we normies can understand. Whether you judge them or not, you have to understand this profession isn’t going anywhere.
People will always want to see naked women, and there will always be naked women who want the cash.
Strippers are kind of like cops. They only interact with the public when the public is at its most chaotic. Because of this, they have some great stories.
Recently Redditors have asked for the best, weirdest, most carefully guarded stories from the realm of erotic dancing.
And because they are at heart very generous, the strippers have replied. (As well as a few bouncers and a couple of customers who happened to witness something particularly salacious.)
Here are the best of the best stories, memories, and confessions from strippers out there:
1. RIP.
One of our old dancers passed away 10 years ago in a drunk driving accident. Every holiday her mom and some of her church friends come into the club and pass cookies and jewelry to girls in memorial. We love our sweet church ladies.
2. Pays to be savage.
I got paid $500 to beat a man with his own belt on stage for his last night as a bachelor. I was brutal and the more savage I got, the more tips rolled in. That poor guy. But through all the screams and wincing, he actually loved every bit of it. Hope he healed before the wedding. —chaotica78
3. Open wide (but not like you think)
Very first night stripping some old guy in overalls with pretty poor dental hygiene asked me how many fillings I have. I told him one. He asked if it was silver or gold. “Uhh… silver”. Then he asks if I will open my mouth and let him look at my teeth?? I was pretty timid so I did and he complained it was too dark to see well.
A few months later I see him again in another club but he has a fucking flashlight this time. He tells me he wants a dance and then when we get to the back says that he really just wants to look at my teeth. So I open my mouth and he’s annoyed at my one filling and otherwise healthy teeth. He insisted I find a girl with bad teeth so I said I’d find one and then hid in the dressing room until he left. —Lacielady
4. Just because it’s “that time of the month” doesn’t mean the grind stops.
Sometimes there are “house moms” who run the dressing rooms. Sometimes the house mom is a gay guy. Sometimes he is tasked with trimming or tucking in a girl’s tampon string so it doesn’t show when she is nude on stage. —Ultra-PowerfulCutex
5. Give me the ol’ Weekend At Bernie’s treatment.
There was once a regular at one of my clubs who would ask you to pretend to be dead while you sat with him, and if you were good at enough at it he would buy a room with you where you would pretend to be dead while he pretended to embalm you. He was a no longer licensed mortician 🙁 —Slime__queen
6. Free celery!
Hick club…guy who was a celery farmer came in and gave us all free bags of celery. There was also candle guy (worked at a candle factory and would bring in the reject candles). Supposedly other farmers with various free foods would come in but I only got hooked up with celery and candles. —knit1lift2
7. $20,000!
“I was fresh out of high school and working as a stripper so I could afford to feed my two kids (a 3-month-old and a 15-month-old). I was on stage and looked out and saw my dad’s best friend. He took me home, we slept together, and I left with $20,000. No regrets.”
8. Gotta keep limber,
I used to work with a girl who was flexible, but her knee would occasionally just slip out of place. She’d elegantly punch it back into place and finish her set before chugging pain meds and icing it. Nobody would know the difference.
Another girl I knew would get walk-into-walls drunk, yet always knew her exact amount of money and could do a standing split at the edge of a stage in 8-inch heels no matter how trashed.
I once watched a 4’11” dancer nearly rock a vending machine over on herself because she wanted a snack. Same girl saved herself and another dancer from a 10 foot fall off the pole when the other girl lost her grip and they both dropped. Sheer force of thigh. Best coworkers ever. —ioantha
9. May I recommend moving to the second row?
I worked in a club that had a catwalk-type addition to the stage, and at the end of it was a spinning pole. It was very poorly designed as it was not a very wide space around the pole. So the sheer amount of people I’d accidentally kick in the face while doing pole tricks is INSANE and like 80% of them would apologise to me and tip me for ‘ruining my flow’. I always got a bit of a giggle about that
10. “She really likes me, I can tell.”
Less typically attractive girls tend to still make insane money as desperate men think they have a chance to score with them so will pay big money to spend time in VIP with them. These girls know this and milk the men for everything before leaving them for the next desperate customer. —CMK120894
11. Polly wanna lap dance?
One time, a customer brought in her pet parrot to the bar. I obviously spent the rest of my shift talking with the parrot. His name was pickle he tipped me a Dollar…he was a real gem. —kylajill
12. Sexy and menses don’t usually go together.
Girl had her period on stage and didn’t know it, I had to put on gloves and try to sexily clean the stage without drawing any more attention to the red smeared floor —clearier
13.
I’ve seen my share of fights. My old home club’s bouncers were short-tempered as f—k. It was so common that we girls would calmly sit and watch bouncers & managers brawl with a customer down the length of the bar to remove him. I watched a manager use bouncers like mob goons & hold a guy pinned on the concrete outside until he handed over his wallet — manager helped himself to the money owed + $50 tip for the girl in question. It was sh-tty HOW violent they got but at least I knew I’d get my $$$ if a guy tried to dip. —Metal___Barbie
14.
“I stripped for about three years when I was in my twenties to pay off student debt. Toward the end, I became pregnant with my daughter. During that time, I made about double the money I normally earned. You would NOT believe how many men were more into me because I was visibly pregnant.” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community
Did You Know: According to a study from the University of Leeds in the U.K., the average salary for a full-time stripper is around $74,000.
15.
The thing that first comes to mind is the time my friend was climbing the pole when it fell straight out of the ceiling. It fell like a tree and the bitch rode that thing right up until the second it was about the hit the side of the stage, then jumped off, landed cleanly on her seven-inch stilettos and stomped back to the dressing room like she hadn’t just almost broken her neck.
They put the damn pole back up and girls were back on it within like an hour! Not me, though. I left and still don’t trust that thing. —RusskayaRobot
16.
There’s a very sweet older man who is a regular at my club. He’s never gropey and always tips in 20s. His only request is to lick and suck in the bottom of our shoes. I can’t see the harm in it, but it grosses some girls out. I guess so long as he’s paying, he can shine my shoes alll day lol.—purlpurple14
17.
When I was a stripper, a customer “visiting from Canada” bought a lap dance and while we were back there, he tried to talk me into going to his hotel to give him a hand job for $200. I declined multiple times, he took the hint, and also came in his pants during the lap dance. He leaves, life goes on.
Eight years later I’m a hairdresser in the suburbs and who the fuck walks in? Hand job guy. I was the only one available and I’m a professional so I didn’t say anything. He mentioned I looked familiar, and halfway through it seemed to dawn on him because he suddenly got quiet, paid, literally ran out, and never came back lol. —chinchillerino
18.
The employee-only Christmas party they would bring in male strippers for the girls and have an open bar. 50+ drunk and horny strippers is a really crazy thing. Craziest thing I saw was 5 girls in the dressing room one year eating each other out in a circle. —Graym
19.
“Straight women at bachelorette parties or on a girls’ night out were the WORST customers, and we all dreaded them. They always thought they were entitled to get in for free because they were women and we were female dancers (which doesn’t make sense, since they’re not the main attraction here; nor will the club make money off of them).
They’d often get catty toward the dancers and women waiting tables and say things like, ‘I’m so much hotter than her!’ They’d also expect free drinks simply because they were ‘a group of hot girls.’ On top of all of that, they were consistently terrible tippers.” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community
20.
I was going to use a throwaway, but f—k it. I was a stripper in my 20s for a couple of years. The absolute most memorable thing was when everyone working at the club dropped acid, save for I think one or two girls.
The bouncer, the DJ, the stage guy, the housemom, the door guy, and about 10-15 girls were just high af for the whole night, and it was so hilarious and great. It was a very slow night (I’m thinking dead of winter on a Tuesday, or something), and I guess we all just said, “f—k it” and all took a hit. Can’t remember who brought it.
At one point I remember feeling really paranoid that I’d be found out, and then realizing that:
I’m a stripper And
Literally nobody cared that I was high.
That was so liberating. It was a night of naked girls goofing off on stage, awesome and weird music we normally weren’t allowed to play (our club banned rap at the time), trying on allll the costumes, and just a general blast. Nobody made money. We didn’t even try. It was one of the most memorable trips I have ever had. —jay_emdee
21.
The main thing that I found interesting is that being hot isn’t the main thing that will determine success.
The girls that make the best money are the girls with strong personalities, that will create a connection that will make the customer want to pay to stay in the moment.
Also the amount of money that some people spend. We have several customers that will spend anywhere between $5000 and $15000 a night on dances alone, and do this multiple nights every week. —ReturnoftheKlown
22.
Had a guy wander in one night, seemed pretty normal, I was chatting to him at the bar and he turned around to look at the stage and he had this MASSIVE bloody gash down the back of his head, turns out he’d been hit by a car, woke up on the side of the road with no memory and wandered into the club for a drink, autopilot does weird things to people. —agirlhas_no_name
23.
“Occasionally we get random gift bags at the club from nice Christians who are ‘praying for [our] souls.'” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community
24.
Essentially, this dude paid for the full VIP treatment (room and all that). But 4 minutes in or so, he wanted to show his dogs. He spent the entire rest of the time showing her his dogs and videos of them playing. She asked him why he spent his money for the full VIP treatment just to show dogs.
He said “Oh, I just wanted to show my dogs to someone, but couldn’t find another way.” —BattingElk5713
25.
I pay the club every night that I go into work. It varies between cities, it can be as low as $10 or as high as $100, but is usually somewhere in the middle —get2twerk
26.
Former stripper here, I once had a guy pay for and hour in the private room, we just sat and spoke most of the time, he told me about his son who had a disability, about his wife being a full time carer for their son and her mother then out of nowhere he offers me $500 to dig my heels into his testicles.
Another one who was a regular was a guy who liked to draw, he would always come in with a tiny scrap of paper and would sketch me, he was a really nice guy who taught me a lot about art and how to see the beauty in different things.
27.
Not a stripper, but I did work in a strip club as a bouncer, which provided me a great story involving one of the girls…
Her name was Robot, totally cool chick which had quite a following with the locals. In particular one regular of hers would come in once a week, without missing a single week, and get the same private dance from the same girl (Robot). During his private dance, the man, who was a big fellow, weighing about 350+, would ask her to take her stiletto heels and put them down his throat followed by a splash of creamer in his face. He paid her $400 each time. –CLHowlan
28.
The most mind-blowing thing to me is that the pole rotates! It basically acts like the center “pole” part of a merry-go-round. The girls aren’t spinning around the pole but they are holding on and the pole is spinning. —laceabase
29.
“I danced for years and years. So many people think strippers are broken, damaged, or drug addicts, but I didn’t see any of that. I loved dancing and loved the money — it literally paid for my first house. I was the only one in my friend group who actually owned my own home by the time we were 21.” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community
30.
“In my experience, the older dancers always make the most money at the club. It drives younger dancers absolutely wild.” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community