Nate
Revenge is an act of passion saved for those who wronged you and you just can’s take it anymore. It may seem petty, but sometimes it’s worth it. Just look at the folks who’ve shared their petty revenge stories in this viral Reddit thread.
Here are some of our “favorite” responses. And by “favorite” I mean the most amazingly petty.
1.
I wear hearing aids, and a girl in my high school math class used to make fun of me. I had not said two words to her and gave her no reason to do it, she was just being evil.
I recorded her mocking my hearing loss on my phone and played it for her parents. They took the new car they just bought her back to the dealership. — [deleted]
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I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. It happened every year, and my friend decided to put a stop to it.
He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. filled that puppy up and made a really pretty display.
The jacka*s broke the axle of his shotty car when he hit that pumpkin. could not drive away. my friend had his car towed away, too. — cuddlenazifckmonstr
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My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super self-centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom.
About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together. After he paid for the moving truck, deposit, and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heartbroken.
In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her (“I mean, it’s really important. It’s my NORTH FACE.”) My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him.
Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important Northface sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor. I folded everything nicely. I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her, and letting her know that I hope all is well. The note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it.
Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also, unfortunately, the shampoo, soap, and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink. The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn’t have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface.
She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again. — typingbutnotworking
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There’s a new truck in my apartment’s parking lot. Always taking up multiple spots, ALWAYS. Weird angles, close to the stairs, all over the place (no assigned parking, unfortunately). Months of this.
I drive a much smaller car than that, and I’m petty/passive-aggressive, I’ve been waiting for my chance. A few days ago was my shot.
I got home quite late and there were zero spots open in my lot. The big truck is double-parked again, but there’s just enough room on their driver’s side for me to sneak in there with my little clown car. I carefully pull in, making sure not to touch anything, no damage, no nothing. My passenger-side mirror is half an inch from their driver-side door. I giggled to myself all the way back to my apartment and set an alarm and waited. The following morning I wake up before the alarm to loud door slamming and stomping around I check out my window and I see the double parking culprit walking around both vehicles, taking pictures, texting someone, taking more pictures, I’m shaking with glee. They then swallow their pride, let out a visual sigh, and climb in the passenger side, clamber over the center console, and Austin Powers 20 point turn their butts out of the spot.
I’ve never been so proud of myself and my s**tty, petty, passive-aggressive ways. — Here2Lol
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Not me, but for my wife. When we were younger and kind of on hard times, she took a pretty shady job at a local factory. The first two weeks she was there, she had her lunch stolen at least 5 or 6 times. Even open drinks. I was pretty pissed, a lot of times I would grill for her or make her lunch, and she was going hungry. One night I bought a big a*s Gatorade and a box of those women’s laxatives, both red in color. Couldn’t tell the two were mixed, but we found out who the thief was. — TheToenailCollector
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Crossing at a busy downtown intersection, a very impatient driver waiting to make a turn honked at a lady pushing a stroller (she had the right of way).
I slowed down, but the guy next to me straight up stopped in front of the car, then bent down to re-tie his shoelaces. — sorakoi
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My friend’s Sprite kept getting stolen even though she wrote her name all over the can. Finally, after the fifth time, it happened she got a habanero, cut it open and rubbed it all over the top of the can, and left it in the fridge. We found out who the thief was when that afternoon we hear the office drama queen shriek in her cubicle and run to the water cooler. She never stole anything again. — dustbunnee
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I moved to America to be with this guy (let’s call him Richard). Richard happened to work at the same big box store as my friend J, and one day when I came to meet J from work, a coworker innocently said “Are you looking for Richard? He’s staying with his girlfriend.”
Me: “I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND.”
Now another thing you should know about Richard is he bought his toothbrushes wholesale and lived in the grungiest apartment ever. I cleaned every inch of that bathroom, toilet included, with each and every one of those remaining toothbrushes, documenting every step with photographs. Then I rinsed them in the toilet and put them back in the box. And I packed my s**t and left.
Ten years later, when I’d calculated he was on the last brush, I sent him the pictures. — AliceMorgon
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Grounded yet again by my Angry Dad for breathing whilst his ballgame was on, I was stuck in my bedroom bored witless. For something to do, I flicked the light switches on and off (pre-mobile era folks, we had to make our own fun…). It was then I discovered that this made a loud buzzing static interference on the TV in the lounge. Cue the next 5 years of petty revenge…
Angry Dad never figured out why we had such a bad TV signal at game time, he never connected it with me being sent to my room and flicking the light switch every few minutes, reveling as he yelled futilely at the static dancing across the TV. — Bigfoothobbit
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I used to manage a Starbucks when one of my baristas asked a guy his name and he just flipped the f**k out belittling her, called her stupid, etc, and didn’t give a name. Anyway, I take over the hand-off drinks and place his drink just on the hand-off with no words. (I’ll add it was a busy store with a lot of people waiting.
I just keep putting drinks out for about 10/15 minutes and the douchebag walks up and picks up his drink that’s now lukewarm and goes “is this mine?” I just respond with “I don’t know it doesn’t have a name on it”. — Thejustinset
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My mum and her friend had a massive fight, and my mum’s friend sent a letter to my mum scolding her and pretty much saying “We’re no longer friends” and my mum, as an Ex-Teacher, took out a red pen, corrected all the spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes, and mailed it right back to her — YourApril27
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We were kids staying at the seaside on holiday with our family. My little sister would always make a pretty sandcastle, and the next day it would have been kicked down and she’d cry. We wanted to find out who was doing it, so one day we stayed behind to spy. We watched as a bunch of jerk older boys came by and kicked her castle down, laughing smugly. So the next night, we covered a big beach rock in the sand and decorated it. Like clockwork, the jerk kids came with their smug faces and this time kicked a solid rock with all of their might. The yowl and the look on their faces was the best revenge ever. — AmyDiaz99
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My dad had an old truck parked on the back of our property that some kept stealing small parts from (cap, rotor, points, etc). We wired it to an electric fence power supply. One evening we heard a bunch of yelling and swearing and went back there and the guy left us some free tools. — porcelainvacation
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So I’m at Costco, in need of dog food, and it’s ridiculously busy for a Monday. Barely any parking spots until I spot one at the end of the lot. I make my way down the aisle and am about to turn into the parking spot when a lady RUNS OVER THE CURB and almost hits me to take the spot. Thankfully I tapped my brakes in time or she would have taken off my bumper.
I look up and she is shaking her head and wagging her finger in a “no” motion at me. WTF? I was like okay I’ll just wait for her to back up since I’m obviously turning into the spot. She doesn’t. My girlfriend is with me and was pissed that the lady wasn’t budging. I gave her my Costco card and just sat in the aisle in a face-off with this lady. She goes inside, gets the dog food, comes back out, and loads up the car. She then pushes the cart into the spot we were waiting for and hops in the car.
The look on the woman’s face was enough to give me satisfaction for a week. She had to get out and move the cart so she could park once I reversed through the entire aisle. Worth it. — nedragh
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An uncle of mine was a serious addict and an all-around a**hole. When I was a kid it was pretty common for him to steal from my grandparents, including a lot of things they intended to give me when I was older (a coin collection, things like that). There’s a long list of things he did over the course of my life to piss me off, but I’ll skip to the petty revenge.
I was browsing the local county website and noticed there was a section for active warrants. I wondered if any familiar names were listed so I browsed it and to my complete lack of surprise, I saw my uncle’s name listed for something minor. Then I saw the Crime Stoppers number at the top of the page. I knew where he was living at the time and it was anonymous, so what the hell? I called, described him, and told them where he was. They gave me a reference number and told me to call back in two weeks.
For the sake of being thorough, I called a relative from the other side of the family who, funny enough, was not only a cop but also in charge of following up on these things. I told him the situation and he said he’d prioritize it.
Two weeks later, I call Crime Stoppers for an update and they said the tip did indeed lead to an arrest and asked which post office I preferred. I was confused but I named one. They gave me an alias, told me to give that name to the clerk and there would be a general delivery envelope with $200 cash inside. That part was unexpected but a sweet bonus for sure.
Easiest $200 I ever made. — TheLivingLegend
19.
This happened almost a decade ago with my first boyfriend. He was a manipulative, selfish, raging douchebag and I was a 16 year old with no self esteem. A match made in hell.
He basically lived at my house and had me cook for him all the time. He was trying to impress one of my “gangster” pot-growing neighbors so he would have me make them snacks multiple times a day. His favorite thing to eat was french fries.
I would be making 3 or 4 batches a day. Since I was cooking so many fries I would keep the Crisco I used to fry them in an empty coffee tin in the fridge. Over the course of 3 days, the Crisco smelled exactly like potatoes.
So my ex asks me to make him some french fries yet again (I’m the only one paying for them btw). When I tried to serve myself a plate of the fries I had just cooked he yelled at me and said these were only for him and his friend. He took the whole heaping plate and ran off!
My blood was boiling and I plotted revenge! I waited for the Crisco to solidify and I whipped it with a fork so it looked like mashed potatoes. Because of the many batches of fries, it smelled like mashed potatoes too. Now I just had to wait.
Soon enough my ex was back and he was still hungry because of all the pot he smoked with my neighbor. He had the balls to ask me for more fries! So I sweetly told him that I’d made mashed potatoes for him while he was gone.
He was so pleased! He said “Thanks, babe!” And took the biggest spoonful he could straight out of the pot. He put the overflowing spoon straight into his gob with a huge smile on his face. His smile quickly turned into disgust and he started violently throwing up in the sink.
He never asked me to make fries again in our short relationship. I broke up with him btw. — Lalybi
20.
I was dating this girl and thought she was the one, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. I worked late for my job, so I was just happy there was someone in my bed. I came home one night and she was awake. She confessed to using my apartment to cheat on me with seven different people, so I packed her stuff up.
I then lied to her and said I moved to Seattle but moved to Hawaii instead.
Three months after being in Hawaii, I get a phone call from her. To my surprise, she’s called me from the Seattle airport. She flew out there to try and fix things between us.
Me: So you’re in Seattle?
Her: Yeah! Weren’t you listening? I came here to fix us.
Me: Oh…well, that’s too bad.
Her: What’s bad?
Me: I’m in Hawaii. (Hung up the phone.)
(Phone rings again.)
Her: YOU LIED TO ME!
Me: How does it feel? — Alucard1886
21.
Went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter said what are you doing? I said, I paid for it I’m taking it home. And I did. — pierced7
22.
I’m in a class where a group research project/presentation is a huge chunk of overall points. Everyone knows in group projects you always have that one slacker who doesn’t do anything that you have to compensate for. However, I got stuck with possibly the worst 3 people to be in a project within the class.
I did the entire research, presentation, poster boards, etc among many other annoying things myself. I tried talking to them and telling them they needed to put in their share of effort. Ignored. I’d send them tasks to do, ignored. I’d try to schedule meetings, they’d say they were coming and then leave me alone at the library. This happened from the get-go.
It was abundantly clear that they expected everyone else to do the work, but “everyone else” turned out to be just me.
Rule: We couldn’t have things 100% memorized word for word, and we couldn’t read off of anything. We had to actually know the subject. I was fully prepared to do most of the talking and even wrote down a small script for them and told them to know what to say during their part, at the very least. The night before I told them we had to meet to at least go over the whole thing one time.
Once again, none of them showed.
At this point, I’m livid and decide they can just do it themselves, which means they’d get up there, not know a damn thing to say other than the small info I gave them, and couldn’t even bullsh*t anything because they did no research. Thing is, if we miss without an excuse, we fail the project. If you have an excuse, you have to have documentation. I commute and live an hour away, so I decide that I’ll conveniently have a flat tire right before class. Went out and actually bought a tire so I could have the receipt to prove it. Emailed the professor, who said I can present by myself during his office hours.
Turns out, they completely bombed, and not only probably failing the project, but since they’re bad students, might even fail the class. — grapeicecreamfloat
23.
My coworker sometimes throws out her lunch in the garbage can at my desk instead of her own, because she claims she can’t stand the smell of old ketchup that’s been sitting out for a couple of hours. I’ve asked her several times to stop, but she will then just wait until I get up to go to the bathroom and do it, and hide my garbage can under my desk so she thinks I won’t see it.
Every time she does it, I wait until she goes to the bathroom, takes out the little plastic container that she had ketchup in, and put it way in the back of her bottom desk drawer. There are 6 in there now, the oldest is over a month old. So far, she hasn’t noticed the smell. Gonna keep doing it and see how long it takes her to notice. — Brunurb1
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He took my engagement ring and pawned it for an XBOX. I took the XBOX and gave it to my new boyfriend. — ChickenNuggetBeebs
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One time my dog came in my room and jumped on the bed while I was sleeping, waking me up. I scolded her and told her to get down. She slowly hopped off the bed, turned to look at me, sat down, and WHILE MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT scooted her a*s across the floor, leaving a nice little poop mark. Looked away, stood up, left. I miss that little gremlin. — cap-n-dukes
26.
I caught my flatmate telling lies about me to some mutual friends. I made plans to move out the next month. In the meantime, she went out of town for a week and left her car parked in its usual spot in the parking lot. I threw birdseed on it every morning and evening, so when she came home, the birds wouldn’t leave her car alone. — otefl
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A young guy down the street was constantly speeding through the neighborhood. He gets home from work around the same time every day and always rips it down the street to his driveway. I called the city and had a cop come out and do radar.
He got a dangerous driving charge and stopped speeding around here — dipperydoos
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My friend in high school was such a drama queen but it worked out hilariously sometimes. He was cut off by a driver who had no brake lights and it pissed him off so badly that he followed until a cop was behind, merged around the guy and then brake checked him so the cop would see that he had no brake lights. The holler he let out when the cop pulled the other guy over is still one of the funniest moments of my life — ohheyitsshanaj
29.
At my previous job, we had separate refrigerators for the different shifts. Our food was constantly being stolen or messed with. One day, my buddy and I decided to make a nice cherry cheesecake… out of cooking lard. We finished it off with graham cracker crust and cut a couple of slices out of it since we knew the thief wouldn’t be brazen enough to take the first bite. We never found out who the thief was, but we never had to worry about anyone messing with our food ever again. — chiefpompadour
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Went to a restaurant for lunch during a work shift. Out of three parking spots somebody decided to park across every single one. There were no other parking spots at the time. So I decided to park within half a foot from my passenger side to his driver’s door. Ordered and got my food, and noticed an older (60+) man leave and walk in the direction of our parked cars. When I left and walked towards my car, sure enough, he was there, a tray of drinks in one hand and a bag of food in the other, just absolutely struggling to get into his vehicle. He called out about why I parked like this and my only reply was “why did you park across 3 spots, park like and a*s you better expect to be treated like one” — Destrata911
31.
I’ve told this one before, but it makes me happy to retell it.
I had a boss 7-8 years ago whom I hated. She was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she decided that she didn’t like the smell of microwave popcorn… So she waved her magic office wand and had it banned.
Fast forward a month or so. I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emits a smell when plugged in…the smell of buttered popcorn. I bought it, plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had the sweet smell of PopSecret in her office for six f**king months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted. — weshric
32.
I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me. And he threw my dog across the room when we were discussing what he had done. I moved out immediately. More for hurting my dog than anything. So as I was moving out I took his entire porn collection and microwaved them one by one. It only takes 3 seconds each. Took me about an hour to go thru them all. I put them back in the case, then back where they belonged. Not sure if the microwave was still usable, did not really care. He was also a manager at a restaurant and would bring home tons of food. They had really nice coolers that the food came in so I called the GM and explained I had moved out and that I wanted to return the boxes. He lost his job. Then I was getting collection calls for him. Gave him the new girl’s work and personal number so they could find him.
Dont mess with my dogs. — kandro-
33.
Delivered pizzas about a week for my best friend’s shop. Warned me about a few customers, but one, in particular, was always rude to the drivers and never tipped. Lucky for me, I got to deliver his order of a single calzone, maybe $6 or $7 total, and he tried to pay with a $50 bill.
All the menus and the website prominently said nothing over a $20 bill for deliveries, and he’d been their customer long enough to know that. But when I told him this while explaining how I didn’t have enough change, he got extremely rude and was loud about how it’s not his fault and that drivers should always carry enough money on them.
So I did what any person in that situation should do, and told him not to worry about it, and I’d pay for the order. For those few seconds, he thought he’d won a free calzone – until I pulled it out and started eating it as I walked back to my car. — DrunkAtChurch
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