Mike
You don’t truly know someone until you live with them. If I could give any of you one piece of advice it’s to live with a person before you marry them.
I’m sure they seem wonderful but you have no idea if they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or save their toenails in a jar next to their bed.
I dated a woman for 3 months before I noticed she kept bags of her dog’s shit in the freezer because she didn’t want them to stink up her trash can. Monster.
Crazy right? So crazy you have to laugh.
Here are some equally if not more disgusting humans just walking around the house acting like their borderline sociopathic behavior is normal.
1. “My husband is technologically challenged.
2. “The way my GF puts away the groceries still in the bag.
3. My dad who takes bites out of butter.
4. The way my dad puts things away in the fridge. This is a piece of steak.
5. Thesis due in a few days and I don’t need this extra stress of people stealing my stuff from the communal fridge.
6. Damn 3-Year-Olds
7. My Wife Never Finishes A Bottle Of Shampoo Or Body Wash Before Buying A New Kind And Leaving The Old Ones
8. My Roommate’s Toothbrush
9. What Kind Of Person Leaves This In The Freezer
10. “Flatmate Made Pasta, Then Left For A Vacation.” (I Sort Of Want To Cuddle It)
11. I’m Starting A Fight With My Wife
12. My Roommate And I Own Only Two Pots. When He Cooks, He Stores The Leftovers In The Fridge In The Pots, Instead Of Putting Them In Containers
13. My Side Of The Room vs. My Roommate’s Side
14. My Wife Never Fully Screws The Lids Back Onto Anything
15. My Flatmate Isn’t The Biggest Fan Of Hygiene. This Festive Potato Managed To Grow In His Cupboard
16. Holiday With New Boyfriend – He Opens Bread Like This
17. My Wife Is A Monster
18. The Way My Housemate Tidied These Shoes
19. My Wife Likes To Put Her Food And Drinks On Electronics
20. My Roommate Leaves Her Cat’s Litter Box Scoop In Our Kitchen Sink
21. My Wife Leaves Hair Stuck To The Shower Wall
22. How My Boyfriend Stores His Cords
23. My Wife Thinks It Is OK To Mix M&M’s With Skittles
24. I Thought I Was The Only One Whose Flatmates Were Growing Potato Monsters. This One Was Growing For A Year And I Discovered It The Weekend I Moved In
25. My Girlfriend’s Kitchen, Everyone
26. My Wife’s Nightstand
27. My Wife Bought Toilet Paper For The First Time. One Ply. I Live With A Monster
28. My Roommates Seem To Forget This Exists
29. I Live With A Monster. This Happens Every Single Time I Get Back Home After Being Away With Work For 2 Weeks
30. My Boyfriend Doesn’t Throw Away Empty Toilet Paper Rolls
31. My Wife Is A Monster
32. My Roommate Puts The Empty Milk Containers Back Into The Fridge
33. The Way My Wife Leaves The Egg Shells In The Carton Instead Of Throwing Them Into The Trash
34. So My Roommate Used My Tin Foil
35. When My Roommates Take Out The Trash, They Don’t Put A New Lining, And Throw Trash In The Can Anyway
36. The Way My Wife Opens Things
37. My Wife Hung A Nice Picture And A Small Shelf While I Was On Duty. Now My Eye Is Twitching
38. Why I Keep A Secret Tube Of Toothpaste From My Wife And Children
39. I Lost A Loved One Today. I’m Not Sure Which One Yet, But Whoever Cuts Cheese Cake Like This Is Dead To Me
40. My Housemate Still Hasn’t Got Rid Of His Pumpkin From Halloween
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43. “My Wife Putting This Peanut Butter In The Trash Because It’s Empty”
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