Nate
In a “you’ve got to be kidding me” moment, a woman took to Reddit’s AITA group, asking if she was in the wrong for not canceling her dream European vacation to cover her brother’s dental surgery. The story is causing a stir as opinions fly on both sides of the argument.
The OP (original poster) explains that she (30F) has been saving for over a year to take a two-week vacation with her partner—a huge trip they’ve already fully paid for.
Flights, hotels, the whole shebang. But just days before they were supposed to leave, her brother (35M) called in a panic, saying he needed an emergency dental surgery, which was going to cost him around $10,000.
Here’s the kicker—he doesn’t have insurance, and it’s not life-threatening. But the procedure is expensive, and he doesn’t have the funds. When she explained she couldn’t give him the money because she’d already spent it on the vacation, he fired back with a guilt trip the size of a transatlantic flight. Cue the “family comes first” line. He even suggested she cancel the trip and try to get refunds, as though that would magically solve everything.
“You’re Selfish for Choosing a Vacation Over Family”
Not only did her brother lash out, but he also roped their mom into the situation, who’s now pressuring OP to cancel her trip to help out her son. According to the OP, her mom hit her with, “It’s just a vacation, you can always reschedule.” Talk about a one-two punch of family guilt.
OP goes on to say that she feels bad about her brother’s situation, but points out that his financial mess is a direct result of his own poor choices. And, on top of that, it’s not a life-or-death scenario. She doesn’t believe she should have to cancel a vacation she’s worked hard to save for just because her brother hasn’t handled his responsibilities. Now, she’s left feeling torn and is wondering if she’s truly the “selfish” one for standing her ground.
“Where Does Your Brother’s Lack of Planning Become Your Emergency?”
As the thread blew up, Reddit users were quick to jump in with their thoughts. A large chunk of commenters agreed with OP, noting that her brother’s financial mismanagement shouldn’t suddenly become her emergency.
And, while the surgery may be necessary, many felt like the brother was way out of line for demanding OP cancel such a major life event. After all, this vacation wasn’t some last-minute trip; it had been in the works for over a year. Why should her brother’s dental crisis take precedence over something she and her partner had been looking forward to and saving for?
The Family Guilt Trip Goes Too Far
But not everyone was on OP’s side. Some commenters empathized with the brother’s situation, with a few pointing out that dental problems can spiral into worse health issues. One person wrote, “I get that it’s your vacation, but a dental infection can lead to serious complications.” OP’s mom certainly seems to think so, as she’s also laying on the pressure for her to cancel the trip.
But OP counters that this isn’t just any vacation—it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience with her partner that’s already been paid for. So, should she really have to take the financial hit for her brother’s poor decisions, especially when it’s not an emergency surgery that could save his life?
Is He Lying About the Cost?
The kicker to all of this? OP suspects her brother might be inflating the cost to milk the situation. After all, $10,000 for a dental surgery? It’s a lot of money for a procedure that’s not even covered by insurance, and OP admits that she’s skeptical.
Is he telling the truth, or is he using this as a convenient excuse to get a financial bailout? OP seems to think the latter, given his history of bad financial decisions.
Redditors seem to agree that the whole situation is fishy. As one person commented, “It sounds like your brother is taking advantage of you and hoping you’ll just cave under pressure.”
In the end, OP made a tough but fair choice to prioritize her own plans. Not every family crisis is yours to solve, and sometimes, setting boundaries is the healthiest option.