Alex Buscemi
Growing up, some kids had pretty standard rules—finish your homework, be nice to your siblings, help with chores.
But as these stories from a recent Reddit thread reveal, not everyone’s house played by the same rulebook.
From being forced to write reports on every episode of The Andy Griffith Show to not being allowed in the house, these strange childhood rules range from quirky to downright disturbing.
Whether mildly funny or oddly tragic, these tales show just how weird childhood can get when you have insane parents.
1.
Not allowed in the house after school. Change clothes, do your homework on the back porch, then do your chores. After that, you could do anything you wanted but couldn’t go in the house until mom called us for supper. After everyone had eaten everything mom had put on our plate, dad would go sit and watch TV. He picked the show, and no one could speak. We were sent to bed at random times.
We were afraid of dad; his punishment was illegal, to say the least. We were never touched for a hug or bedtime thing.
2.
When I was about 14, I asked my mother (who I was made to live with when I was around 11) to put on a shirt and stop walking around without clothes. My punishment was to immediately remove my shirt and bra when I got home from school and walk around topless. If I covered myself, another week was added. It was her husband’s idea, but she totally…didn’t give a f**k and made me comply.
Not so much “weird” as it is full-on SA. Sorry to ruin the vibe.
3.
I wasn’t allowed to watch mice-centric movies (The Rescuers, American Tail) because my mom said “our cat finds them offensive.”
4.
I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that when you go to prison, they don’t let you have sugar, so it will make prison that much harder.
Thanks for having so much faith in me mum.I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.
5.
Don’t bring snakes inside.
To be fair, it was a reactionary rule.
6.
We weren’t allowed to say “that’s not fair” because “life isn’t fair.”
To this day, I am preoccupied with fairness, equality, justice – to an almost obsessive extent.Sounds like the beginning of a superhero movie but it’s just crippling f*****g anxiety.
7.
Still have to follow this now because I still live at home, even though I’m 21 (rent is insane!!)
I can’t lock my bedroom door or any bathroom doors during the day when I’m in my room or on the toilet. My dad will get pissed off and try to knock the doors down.It’s flat-up abusive imo.
8.
Not allowed to walk around in socks with no shoes. I got my revenge when I moved into my first nice apartment alone. They came to visit, and I made them take their shoes off at the door.
9.
Not allowed to take naps when I was a teenager because “I’m too young to be tired” even after I got a job and had to be up at 5am…
10.
I wasn’t allowed to say no. I wasn’t allowed to smile either.
11.
When I was young, my mom made us go to bed at 6pm. I remember the sun being out and hearing kids outside playing. She got married soon after, and the guy had a daughter, so that rule went away, but I really think she just didn’t want to deal with us. We spent all day outside playing when we weren’t at school and weren’t allowed to come in until she called us in for dinner, and then it was baths and bed.
12.
Hyper-Christian parents were very worried about Satanism in the 90s and early 2000s, so no Pokémon, or anything with magic (all my friends played Runescape D&D). Also, no Halloween or anything with monsters.
As a parent now, Pokémon is my favorite show to watch with my kid, and Halloween is probably my favorite holiday.
13.
No naps.
Not in the car, the house, if you were sick, etc.My dad couldn’t nap (terrible sleeper) so we couldn’t either.
12-hour road trip? No sleeping in the car, and no whining either.
Flu? Doesn’t matter.
14.
When my brother and I had a fight, we would be locked in a dog cage in the backyard. If we fought in the car, we would get “bagged” and were forced to wear pillowcases on our heads until we reached our destination. It could be 45 minutes up to 4 hours. We laughed about it telling friends, and it only dawned on us how f****d up it was when we realized our friends were not laughing.
15.
If the fridge door was open, with or without a child kneeling behind it, my dad would body slam it closed.
We got a lot of concussions (probably mum didn’t believe in hospital visits until pain was present for 3 days, and head injuries were “easy to fake” according to her).
16.
No laughing in the house; if you want to laugh, go outside.
17.
I wasn’t allowed to do anything near windows. My mom was convinced that our neighbors were always watching us, so I had to crouch down whenever I went by a window.
18.
My dad had severe OCD. He converted our garage to a studio apartment that we were never allowed to enter. He had his own dishes, and if we were ever caught using them, they became family dishes. Even washing them wasn’t enough – they were ruined.
19.
Unless it was for school or I was with one of my parents, my sister and I were never allowed to leave the apartment. We couldn’t have friends over, and we couldn’t go to friends’ houses…probably why I’m such a homebody now with anxiety issues around people.
20.
There were false accusations that I was taking too many of the good pieces of food shared with my sibling. So I wasn’t allowed to look at the food while we ate it. I had to look straight ahead at the TV and eat without looking.