Jeff Wysaski
The site How to Be a Dad once asked its readers a simple question:
“What’s the most brutally honest thing your kid has said to you?”
The responses rolled in, and they were exactly what you’d expect—if what you expected was a total ego demolition courtesy of someone under four feet tall.
From unfiltered body commentary to roasts that would make a stand-up comic flinch, these quotes prove that kids have absolutely zero concept of social tact… and somehow manage to be both adorable and savage at the same time.
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2. I call it “big natural”
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9. Big fashion advice from someone whose current fit is “Batman top, dinosaur pants, and jelly stains.”
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12. Oh cool, my toddler just gave me the worst Yelp review of my life.
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14. Cool, cool—love that you’re learning states of matter. Gonna go cry in the gas phase now.
15. Technically not wrong. Emotionally? Devastating. Spiritually? I’m in pieces.
16. This one’s got smell-based receipts and zero mercy. Call it eau de parental defeat.
17. The confidence. The delivery. The bathtub-based body shaming. This child’s got a future in insult comedy.
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19. Thank you for the anatomical observation. I’ll just go evaporate into the earth now.
