Alex Buscemi
Some days you need the good stuff—the kind of tweets that spiral from oddly specific to painfully universal in five words or less.
Today’s funniest tweets feel like someone opened your Notes app, added better punchlines, and hit publish.
Whether you’re avoiding a meeting, stalling on errands, or just pretending to scroll for “news,” this gallery is here to support the cause.
It’s a curated mix of Tuesday’s finest bits from the bird app—funny, chaotic, weirdly relatable, and sometimes just a little too real.
1. I’m no scientist but I’m pretty sure if you just put that brain in a bowl of rice for a few hours it’ll be good as new
2. Honestly, I’m basically the same person I was in 7th grade. I just have a lot more debt now.
3. Somebody check in on Cory.
4. Nothing beats quality time with the little black box full of angry people
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14. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
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Read more: 40 Funny Pride Month Tweets That’ll Have You Screaming ‘Yaaas!’ All June Long