Nate
I’ve been married for barely two years, and we’ve been together long enough to be fully settled into our routines. Which is my way of admitting: yes, I sometimes leave cupboard doors open for no reason. But she also uses way too much laundry detergent.
Deal breakers? Not even close. Just the little quirks you learn to laugh at (and lowkey keep score of) over time.
Thankfully, we’re not at the point where we need to post about it online… unlike some of these couples. These are the funny, clueless, and wildly specific relationship fails that deserved to be publicly called out, and thank goodness they were.
I’m sharing this list to celebrate them and also to show my wife that at least I haven’t put dish soap in the dishwasher. Yet.
1. “Instead Of Wrapping The Fork In A Napkin And Putting It In His Backpack, My Boyfriend Bends It So That It Fits Into The Tupperware His Lunch Was In”
JKdriver:
This is the kind of man who simply cuts a toothbrush in half to travel with it instead of just buying a travel sized one.
2. “Out Of Dishwasher Tabs… I Guess My Husband Didn’t Get The Memo On Dish Soap”
3. “I’m An Idiot And My Wife Won’t Stop Laughing At Me”
n1k0me:
If it makes you feel any better, I once brewed coffee without grinding the beans first.
At my job.
Which is a coffee shop.
I am a barista.
Incidents like these will just make the next cup of coffee a little more enjoyable.
4. “I Smelled Plastic”
“I walked into the kitchen just as my husband was bounding in whispering “oh s**t oh s**t!” He had preheated the oven for a nice meal of leftover baked spaghetti and forgot the high chair tray was in there.
Currently waving dish towels in the air to keep the smoke alarm from waking the toddler. Oh, and ordering in. Probably should be saving money though, since we have to get a new oven now? No idea how to even begin cleaning this…”
5. “Husband’s Turn To Cook”
“I pop in the kitchen for a moment, and he says we are out of breadcrumbs. No problem, I say, you can use crackers as a substitute. This is what he used.”
6. “My Husband Told Me The Dog Has My Rabbit. What He Meant vs. What I Thought He Meant”
7. “Moving And Caught My Husband Packing Like This”
8. “I Let My Boyfriend Choose A Shower Curtain And Now We Have This”
9. “Asked My Girlfriend To Unload The Dishwasher”
10. “Think I Just Made My Boyfriend A Puppy Milk Latte”
11. “I Asked My Wife Where The Tape Measurer Is. She Said In The Drawer”
FanRepresentative458:
She meant THE drawer. Every home has one. The place where the useful twice or thrice a year items live. Like tape, batteries, and scissors.
12. “How My Wife Puts Sharp Knives In The Dishwasher, But Butter Knives The Other Way”
13. “My GF Is Cooking Eggs With Pasta To Save Time”
Vast_Yam4726:
Eggs al Dente.
whatintheeverloving:
Einstein once said that his second-best idea after the theory of relativity was to boil an egg in the same pot he used to cook soup. Congratulations, now you can humble brag that your girlfriend is on par intellectually with Einstein.
14. “My Girlfriend And Her Mom Never Clean Their Lent Trap”
15. “My Husband And 8-Year Old Leave Their Spoons In Ice Cream Tubs And The Spoons Freezes Into The Ice Cream”
16. “I Asked My BF To Freeze The Leftover Meat And This Is How He Did It”
17. “I Asked My GF To Cut The Potatoes In Half. Those Are Teeth Marks”
18. “The Way My GF Scrubbed My Pan With Abrasive Stainless Steel”
19. “How My Wife ‘Mops’ The Hardwood Floors”
20. “GF Says That My Standard Combo Of Noodles And Sardines Looks Like Something Straight Out Of Silent Hill”
21. “Husband Doesn’t Like His Birthday Pie”
“My husband isn’t a big fan of sweets but blueberry is his favorite fruit and he found out recently he really likes meringue.
I asked him what kind of dessert he wanted for his birthday since he doesn’t care much for cake. He said a blueberry meringue pie so that’s what I made.
I spent 3 hours on this pie last night for him to take 2 bites and say he doesn’t like it. I don’t like blueberries so I ended up binning the pie.
Roughly $25 of ingredients and 3 hours of my life I’ll never get back.”
22. “Husband Scrapes His Toast Crumbs Back Into The Butter Container”
23. “My Partner’s Toothbrush. So Nasty”
24. “For Whatever Reason My Girlfriend Decided To Store A Fire Blanket In The Oven With The Trays And Then Proceeded To Forget And Put The Oven On”
“Trays, fire blanket and oven are now all ruined.”
25. “When My Wife Parks The Car Like This”
26. “Partner Just Blacked Out The ‘Decaffeinated’ Label Instead Of Replacing The Coffee He Ordered In Error”
27. “Does Anyone Else’s Wife Do This?”
“My wife doesn’t take the sauce packet out of the bowl for her ramen. She squeezes the sauce out and then puts the packet back in the bowl for an easier cleanup.”
28. “My Wife Decided To Wash Our New Cutting Board”
“By putting it in the dishwasher. She’s done this with other things not safe for dishwashers. I think I should be doing dishes full time now.”
29. “I Learned Today That My Husband Doesn’t Actually Wash The Pots We Boil Pasta In. According To Him They Aren’t Actually Dirty Since It Was Just Boiling Water”
“I caught this when I walked in on him washing dishes and he only rinsed the pasta pot and put it right back in the cupboard. It wasn’t even dry yet.”
30. “The Space My Wife Gives Me To Sleep On Our Queen Size Bed”
31. “Worse Than Nothing Gift”
I am quite overweight and for the past 2 months I’ve been diet and exercising to lose weight. I semi-recently became lighter than my wife and it made her upset. She’s been making comments that I need to slow down because I’m making her self conscious.
Well today is my birthday and while I never expect a gift, what I got today was like a slap in the face. My one and only gift was a smore maker. I don’t even specifically like s’mores, so I don’t really see any reason to have bought this for me.
32. “So My Girlfriend Attempted To Sew Me A Monkey”
33. “My Partner Made Pitta Breads. This Is The Bag Of Flour”
34. “How My Wife Does The Laundry”
“I do the bulk of our laundry, while my wife will occasionally wash items in urgent situations (dog messes, immediate needs, etc).
Our washer died when she tried starting a load. Since we needed the bedsheets for guests the next day, I emptied the washer to find this mess.
Like 8-10 times the amount of Oxyclean I normally use, and an insane amount of scent beads. Detergent compartment was also filled to the brim.”
35. “My Wife Lost Her Apple Pencil Four Months Ago. After Replacing It, We Just Found It”
