50 Hilarious Brand New Sentences We Hope We Never Actually Hear Again

Somewhere out there, a person typed “the raccoons have unionized” with full seriousness.

That’s the magic of r/BrandNewSentence—moments when language breaks, reorganizes itself, and somehow makes perfect, awful sense.

Here’s another batch of sentences that probably shouldn’t exist, but absolutely do.

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Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome