30 People Share Hilarious And Horrifying Times Adults Couldn’t Do Basic Tasks

1.

“When my friend bought a house, a month into home ownership, she asked me when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it was starting to look like weeds.

It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.”

2.

“My roommate tried to make pasta by putting a pot on the stove, pouring the noodles in without adding water, and turning on the stove.

Then she asked me, ‘How come these aren’t getting soft like when my mom makes them?'”

4.

“I was a drill sergeant in the US Army. The first time you have to show an adult man how to shave is a little shocking. The worst one was the 24-year-old male that didn’t know how to tie his boots. He had gotten through reception and pick-up day by tightly lacing his boots and tucking the laces in. As they would loosen up throughout the day, he would just pull them tight again.

The first Sunday I noticed his boots were barely staying on as he was marching back from dinner. I asked him what was wrong with them, as it’s common for privates to have the wrong size boots when they get to us. He didn’t know how to tie them. At all. Not a single knot. I spent an hour showing him how I tie my boots and different techniques if he gets hot spots or blisters. Then I assigned his bunkmate the task of making sure they were tied correctly when he left the bay.

I kind of understood it. He came from a super poor neighborhood, single mom that worked all the time, he didn’t have a lot of positive influences before joining the Army. I was a little worried about his comprehension skills since basic rifle marksmanship is kind of intense and takes some focus, but he did well. I was very happy that on family day he had his low quarters tied and was proud that he had learned so much.”

5.

“Co-worker announced she was pregnant, then immediately said she was sad that she couldn’t take a bath until the baby was born.

I stared, confused, and asked, ‘Why can’t you take a bath?’ She looked at me as though I was stupid and said, ‘Because the baby will drown!’ I had to walk away.”

6.

“My housemate (24 year old postgrad student) not realising that

You needed to preheat an oven.

You needed to defrost frozen meat before cooking it.

You need to use a baking tray.

After I caught her lining the bottom of our oven with frozen chicken drumsticks.”

7.

“Oh I have a really funny one, I hope it doesn’t get buried!

Years ago, I bought a friend an electric kettle as a gift. Her boyfriend (who I’m still friends with and who passed along this story) came home one night to find her running out the front door of their apartment with the flaming kettle, and she threw it into the street.

She was screaming about how it was a piece of junk because when she put it on the stove, over a flame, it caught fire and started to melt.

He was laughing uncontrollably when he asked, ‘What did you think the cord was for?’

They broke up soon after.”

8.

“My ex–best friend told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, which was the third that month.

I asked her what was wrong with it, and she said, ‘It’s not picking things up anymore!’

So I asked if she had dumped out the container. She didn’t know that was a thing.”

9.

“Had a guy constantly asking what time it is. By the 6th time I said, ‘Bro, there is a clock right there.’ He said, ‘I don’t know how to read it… grown man.’

Couple weeks later on Facebook, someone shared a picture of cursive writing. He made fun of the people who couldn’t read it. I posted a picture of a clock and said, ‘What time does this say?’ He blocked me.”

10.

“I asked my husband to make some herbal tea for me the first year we were married.

I walked into the kitchen to find him standing over the stove with a mug of water sitting directly on the burner.”

11.

“My Mom and I moved in with my Grandparents when I was 10 years old. You know, old enough to have learned how to do some basic chores, and certainly old enough to be taught more. Unfortunately, my Grandmother, God bless her, was not only terrified of fire (her Mother had a problem with accidentally setting things on fire), but she was also a neat freak that insisted on doing everything herself so it was done right.

My Mom married my (step)Dad when I was 14 years old, and we moved into a house together as a family. He was horrified to learn that, at nearly 15 years old, I did not know how to wash and dry my own clothes, iron, load a dishwasher, or even use the stove. I could use the oven because I baked with my other Grandmother when I visited, but I had never used the stove top. There are many more things he had to teach me, but those were the things that really had him worried about my ability to care for myself as an adult.

It wasn’t that my Grandmother didn’t want me to be able to care for myself. Her fears were just so intense that she didn’t think about how not knowing these basic skills would effect me later in life. I am forever grateful to my Dad for being the Dad I needed because God knows the biological one couldn’t be bothered. Mom couldn’t overrule her own Mother when we lived with her, and by the time she married Dad she was sleeping at the hospital five nights a week because her schedule was so insane.

I dont even want to think about who I would be if I hadn’t had him to teach me, but I’m pretty sure I would have had to live off of chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and take out through my 20s if it weren’t for him. I probably would’ve smelled pretty bad from the lack of clean clothes too.”

13.

“My ex and I were cooking together, and one of the pans got too hot, and we had a minor grease fire.

She grabbed a bag of flour.

As tempted as I was to slap it out of her hands, I didn’t want to aerate a bunch of flour next to a grease fire, so I grabbed it with both hands and forced it (and her, because she wouldn’t let go) over to the countertop, and then dropped the lid on the pan.

I asked her what her logic was, and she said, ‘Well, you’re supposed to put baking soda on a grease fire and not water, right?’

‘Yes. Why did you try to use flour?’

‘What’s the difference? They’re both white powder.'”

14.

“In my honors dorm at Purdue there was a Computer Science major named Jeffrey.

He was well known because his parents would stop by every week to pick up his laundry and bring him a case of Fiji water with expensive groceries. His dad was a doctor.

We commented on Jeffrey’s long gross toenails and how he needs to cut them. He told us they are long because his mom hasn’t visited in weeks and she was the one who cut them.

His mother cut her 19 year old sons toenails. Disgusting. We had to give him a lesson on it.”

15.

“Ooohhh I got one. I work as an EMT for a private company, so we mostly deal with nursing homes and the elderly. One day when I was about 6-8 months in, I got assigned a partner who was in my orientation class. He was a little older than me at the time, like mid 20’s, but he seemed a little childish. ‘Maybe he’s just sheltered, I think to myself.’

Anyways, we got a patient I’ve had a few times before. She was a sweet, little old lady with COPD and CHF living at an assisted living. Call was for pneumonia. She’s prone to this stuff so it wasn’t a huge deal, slap her on oxygen and keep her sitting up til we get to the hospital. The first red flag though, was this kid didn’t know anything. He didn’t know how to take a blood pressure. He couldn’t find the medical history or medication on the paperwork (which is clearly labeled). He didn’t even push the stretcher, just walked next to it with a hand on it. When I asked him about all that, he said ‘My partners usually do that for me.’

So, I put her on an oxygen mask and sit her all the way up, mildly agitated. I tell myself it’s just one shift with this kid. He’s in the back with her and I tell him to just switch the oxygen from the bag (which is a small tank) to the main tank (which is huge) because with the amount of oxygen we’re giving her, the bag will run out not even halfway before the hospital. It’s about 25 minutes, which normally wouldn’t be a huge deal. But when we pull up to the hospital and I open the back doors, I’m shook. The oxygen mask isnt inflated (meaning she isnt getting oxygen), shes pale, I can literally see her accessory muscles moving, struggling to breathe. And this kid was sitting behind her, with a clueless half smile on his face, looks at me and says ‘The main tank is broken, so I left her on the bag.’ This women, who needs oxygen without pneumonia, was barely breathing for at LEAST 15 minutes. And this idiot didnt even check. We take her into the hospital. I ask him to find an oxygen tank while explain to this women’s daughter what happened. He says he doesn’t know where to look. I find it and told him to talk to the daughter.

When it’s all said and done, I check to see what’s broken. He didn’t turn on the tank.

TL;DR EMT partner nearly kills a patient because he didn’t know he had to open the oxygen tank to get oxygen to come out.”

17.

“My roommate was making brownies from a box. The instructions said to grease the bottom of the pan before pouring in the batter.

You bet they picked up the pan, flipped it over, greased the BOTTOM of it, flipped it back over, and poured in the brownie batter.”

19.

“My friend in college once lamented, ‘Ugh. I have to pee and I just put a tampon in like five minutes ago. I hate having to pull them out dry.’

Her mother taught her that there is only one hole down there and peeing with a tampon in isn’t possible.”

20.

“My dad couldn’t spread butter on his toast when he met my mom.

PhD in neuroscience? No problem.

Building a successful business? Piece of cake.

Spreading butter on a bagel? Talk about unrealistic expectations.”

21.

“I remember when I first started dating my now husband, I was hanging out at his apartment waiting for him to get out of work. His place was a bit messy so I decided I’d tidy up for him a bit.

Fast forward to the next morning and he comes in a little shocked.

‘Why would you load the dishwasher like…that’

I had never had a dishwasher before in my life lmao. We’re talking cups facing up, big pans shoved in, the whole nine yards. Thank god he stuck with me lol”

22.

“Girl I went to HS with: ‘why do people say a quarter of an hour? Like what does that even mean?’

Me: ‘it’s 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that’s a quarter of an hour’

Her: looking at me like I’m an idiot ‘But a quarter is 25…’

Me: …”

26.

“One of my roommates in college would melt plastic spatulas like crazy.

She’d always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic, but I finally caught her one day.

She’d be cooking something and would walk away LEAVING THE PLASTIC SPATULA IN THE PAN WHILE IT WAS STILL ON!”

27.

“My friend who was almost 40 had never paid a bill before. When she got divorced and lived on her own for the first time, I got a text from her asking if my power was out too.

She realized it was just her and her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were receipts and that the cost was included in her rent.”

28.

“My friend from college tried making burrito bowls for dinner and complained that some of the onions were weirdly chewy.

She didn’t know onions need to be peeled.”

29.

“This 19-year-old guy asked me how to cook a fried egg.

I gave him instructions and when he came back, he said it took a few attempts because the yolk kept breaking and he thought breaking the yolk made the egg poisonous.”

30.

“You know, when they said, ‘Wear a facemask, make it cover both your mouth and nose, don’t touch it, wash your hands, and stay home’?

Yeah, simple instructions, and a whole load of people can’t follow them properly. That is messed up.”