Never Before Written Sentences Found In The Wild (33 Tweets)
I’ve been writing jokes on this godforsaken app since back when it was called Twitter, and before that, when it was called Twitter but in a way that felt hopeful.
I have seen it all. I was there for the golden age of “nobody:” memes. I watched a thousand milkshake ducks rise and fall. At this point, you’d think I’d have witnessed every possible arrangement of the English language. Every original thought, catalogued. Every joke format, mined to exhaustion.
And yet.
Every single day, I log on and watch a new sentence get born. A sentence with no ancestors. A sentence that has never once been uttered in the entire history of human communication, delivered casually by some account with 43 followers and an anime avatar, like it’s nothing. Like they didn’t just expand the boundaries of language itself before 9 a.m.
The good people of r/BrandNewSentence have made it their mission to document these linguistic miracles the moment they enter existence, and I’ve gathered some of my recent favorites below.
Scientists say there are infinite combinations of words. These are the ones God did not plan for.
1.

2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

11.
12.
13.
14.

15.

16.

17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.

25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.