45 Social Norms People Think We Can Stop Pretending Make Sense
I’m fine with most social rules. I hold doors. I pretend I didn’t notice when someone waves back at a person behind me. We all have to help each other get through the day.
But every once in a while, a norm comes up that makes me wonder who decided it was necessary. Why do I need to make the rounds saying goodbye to everyone at a party when I already spent the last three hours saying hello? And if my phone can reach me anywhere, why does that mean I have to answer it everywhere?
People on Reddit shared the social norms they’d like to question, ignore, or retire altogether. Some are little etiquette rules. Others could save you a surprising amount of money.
1. Gender Reveals Are Getting Expensive
Gender reveals. What a grandiose waste of money, time and resources.
Seaworthiness14 replied:
And really, most people don’t care about the sex of somebody’s baby; they just want it to be healthy.
— AskReddit
2. Weddings That Cost As Much As A House Deposit
Over the top weddings. What an incredible waste of money.
merc0526 replied:
It seems absolutely wild to me that people who may not have enough for a house deposit are okay with spending lots of money on a wedding. Hell, even if I owned a house, I’d rather spend the wedding money on traveling around the world.
— AskReddit
3. Job Listings That Leave Out One Important Detail
Job adverts posted without information on the salary. Are we really pretending as if the money isn’t a big factor as to why I’m applying?
— AskReddit
4. Work Events That Happen After Work
Scheduling workplace events outside of normal working hours. If you want me to attend, pay me for it.
— AskReddit
5. Being Polite To Someone Who Won’t Leave You Alone
Humoring rude or pushy people.
If a stranger asks me weird questions or tries persistently to make small talk, I’m forced to make at least a couple of polite, inconspicuous attempts to extricate myself without calling them out, just to save THEIR face.
Dude, I nodded, smiled blandly, and turned away twice. I put earphones in. Why are you still trying to make eye contact and force me to take them out again by talking at me? Elderly people are very good at this. Sometimes better than pushy men.
I want permission to directly tell someone, “I don’t want to talk” straight away, without being labeled rude and b****y.
— AskReddit
6. Let The Kid Wear The Weird Outfit
Not just letting kids be weird. My son used to wear the weirdest stuff and if we were going out I’d be like ‘Go for it! You’re six, live it up!” I do believe in making them behave, though.
— AskReddit
7. Putting Your Entire Life Online
Posting your entire life online.
MizzyvonMuffling replied:
…plus airing dirty laundry/family feuds online.
— AskReddit
8. The Destination Bachelorette Trip
Paying thousands for destination bachelorette/bachelor parties.
— AskReddit
9. Spending Money Just To Look Rich
Spending money to flex. Like why the f**k do I care if random people think I’m rich.
Nutzori replied:
‘Why would I buy a $1,500 phone when my current phone does all the same things at 1/10th the price?’ ‘Broke talk, LMAO.’ Bruh, no, I am specifically not broke because I have an extra $1,500 from not spending it on that dumb phone, LOL.
— AskReddit
10. Paying Extra For A Name On Your Shirt
Wearing brand name clothing. As long as you have nice clean clothes on I don’t care what brand they are.
— AskReddit
11. Different Rules For Rich People
That the rich can be immune to the consequences of their actions.
— AskReddit
12. Tipping For Everything
Tipping. Thank God I live in Europe.
— AskReddit
13. Asking When Someone’s Having Kids
Asking people when they’re “finally going to have kids”.
— AskReddit
14. Changing The Clocks Twice A Year
Daylight Saving Time.
— AskReddit
15. When Insurance Second-Guesses Your Doctor
Insurance companies thinking they know better than doctors about our health needs. I want to see that system crumble and disappear before the end of my life. Probably won’t happen, but I still want it.
MissusNilesCrane replied:
Doctor: My patient needs prior authorization for X medication because generic isn’t effective.
Pharmacy: The doctor says his patient needs name-brand medication for his patient.
Insurance: Does she really, though? Better check with the doctor.
The story of my life.
— AskReddit
16. Paying For Insurance And Then Paying Again
Health insurance. You pay plenty for it. Yet you also pay a ridiculous amount if you have any sort of major health problem. What’s the point? The whole system is completely broken.
— AskReddit
17. The Wedding Requests, The Car Payments, And Everything Else
Bridezillas and special “requests” for weddings. No one should be expected to give you thousands of dollars Susan just because you’re getting married.
Expensive vehicles- I’ll stick with my paid off Toyota- I hate car payments.
Everything being fake- fake fingernails, fake eyebrows, fake lashes, fake boobs, etcetera. I’m all for self care- but all the fake… why?
— AskReddit
18. Apparently Crossing Your Arms Means Something
Crossing my arms means I’m closed off.
Actually I’m just really comfortable standing that way. I do it all the time.Moominsean replied:
I agree. Just standing there with your arms hanging feels kind of awkward and not particularly comfortable.
— AskReddit
19. Bringing Your Phone Into Every Moment
Everyone walking around with phones in faces even at a gym where they need to have thing in hands to work out.
— AskReddit
20. Who Decided What Counts As Breakfast?
The idea that there are specific “breakfast foods” was just marketing made up by cereal companies to sell more cereal
I will die on this hill.ebobbumman replied:
Aside from bacon and eggs, all our breakfast food is dessert: pancakes, waffles, muffins, donuts? It isn’t acceptable to eat cupcakes and ice cream for breakfast, but is a muffin or a waffle covered in whipped cream just fine? It’s bizarre.
— AskReddit
21. Judging Men For Taking Care Of Their Appearance
The idea that men who take good care of their appearance must be gay.
— AskReddit
22. Calling People Lazy For Wanting A Life Outside Work
That you should slave your life away to rich a******s that don’t care about you, and that if you don’t, you’re “lazy.”.
— AskReddit
23. Being Early For An Appointment That Starts Late
Doctors and really all providers who schedule an appointment and are expected to be late while you are expected to be early and penalized for being late. Doctors, meetings, interviews, service appointments… and copays before I receive a service of any kind.
— AskReddit
24. Giving Two Weeks’ Notice To A Job That Wouldn’t Do The Same
Two weeks notice to quit a job. They can let you go without even a seconds warning but if you leave without giving a two week notice you’re the bad guy and filed under “not rehireable”.
The entire idea behind the two week notice is so they could train your replacement but these days they often don’t really have anyone lined up for that. Then they ask you to stay on another week. Not your problem though.
Your employer is only as loyal to you as their bottom line allows. You’re just a number on a spreadsheet. Once you’re no longer useful, you’re out. So there’s no point to being loyal to your employer.
— AskReddit
25. Having Kids When Rent Is Already A Struggle
Having kids when you can’t even afford rent.
— AskReddit
26. The Three-Month-Salary Engagement Ring Rule
Dropping 3 month salary on a shiny rock that is just an agreement to another even larger payment in the form of a ceremony.
Start your union by working through a pile of debt.
— AskReddit
27. Hiding A Tampon On The Way To The Bathroom
Having to hide a tampon or a pad when I go to the bathroom to change it because someone might find it embarrassing.
— AskReddit
28. Being Reachable Every Minute Of The Day
Having to be available 24/7.
I miss the days before mobile phones. I might use the social side of my mobile twice a day, and I get constant complains about it. I won’t change. I don’t need to.
— AskReddit
29. The Rules About Where Your Elbows And Fork Go
I’ve never really understood why it’s considered rude to put your elbows on the dinner table.
One_Lobster_7454 replied:
I’ll one up you: I’ve always been told off for having my knife and fork in the wrong hands!
What f*****g difference does It make? If I was left-handed, it would be the right way round! I find it comfortable that way around.
It’s got to a point where anyone mentioning it just gets the same phrase every time: ‘I don’t care.’
— AskReddit
30. The Difference Between Underwear And Swimwear
Bras and panties are taboo but swimwear isn’t. Literally the same s**t just water resistant material.
— AskReddit
31. Treating Every Spare Hour Like A Side Hustle
Hustle culture in general is so f*****g annoying too. We are not defined by how much of our lives we spend grinding away, how hard we hustle nor by our income brackets.
— AskReddit
32. Worrying About A Visible Bra Strap
Not having bra straps show, who cares.
— AskReddit
33. Assuming Everyone Wants To Be In A Relationship
Being in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a partner, but the amount of comments and single-shaming and false pity is so annoying.
I don’t need sympathy, I don’t need your unrequested help/ coupling in finding a partner, I don’t need unwarranted suggestions of what I need to change…
I am neither desperate, so please Mr. X stop hitting on me, a no is a no…
and nor do I need other women to think I am posing a threat to their relationship, so Miss Y, I don’t want your man, stop hating on me🙄.
— AskReddit
34. Saying Goodbye To Every Single Person
Having to say bye to every person when leaving an event.
— AskReddit
35. Small Talk Neither Person Wants To Make
Pretending to like small talk when all you really want is to skip to the part where you can comfortably ignore each other.
— AskReddit
36. Buying A Teenager An Expensive Truck
Parents giving their kids expensive vehicles.
You see a high school douchebag driving a lifted 250 with chrome wheels. Hauling literally nothing but clearly worth the $100,000.
Is it any wonder why the economy’s in shambles, repossessions are up, and entitlement is through the roof?
Just get them a basic 10+ year old Camry or Civic.
— AskReddit
37. Expecting Grieving Families To Plan A Funeral
Funerals. Horrible use of resources and environmentally harmful. Also, it puts the grieving through so much unnecessary nonsense. My late husband had some serious forethought and refused to allow us to have a funeral. At first I was taken aback but in the end, it was so much easier on me and my kids. He wanted to be cremated and we spread his ashes in a small ceremony with close family when I was ready to let him go.
— AskReddit
38. Knowing More About Celebrities Than People You Know
Obsessing over celebrities or anyone in the media while neglecting your own present life and social circle.
Gino-Bartali replied:
Important to note that professional athletes are, without question, celebrities.
I follow the NBA to a minor extent, but I’m not tuned into it all hours of the day, nor do I let it make me start gambling because, apparently, we decided to regress a bit as a collective.
People who know every trade and every life story of every player are also sometimes likely to talk down on Swifties like they are any different.
— AskReddit
39. One Last Night Of Being “Single”
Bachelor and bachelorette parties where the point is to live it up one more night as an unmarried person, last chance to enjoy all the vices. Wtf?
— AskReddit
40. Being Nice To Someone And Gossiping Later
Being nice to a person but secretly gossiping or judging behind their back, why not to tell them the truth in the face?
— AskReddit
41. Having To Accept A Coworker’s Friend Request
You’re expected to accept someone’s request on social media to be polite, and you’re expected to stay social media “friends” with them even if you’re not friends in real life.
I always get c**p about not wanting acquaintances and colleagues on social media….like I’ve hurt their feelings. Sometimes it’s nothing personal.
— AskReddit
42. Eating Food You Already Said You Don’t Like
Eating a food that you’ve previously expressed a dislike for to be courteous.
Like, if I say I like shepherds pie, someone makes it for me, and it tastes bad… I’m going to fake it to be polite. But if I tell people I dislike peanut butter and they make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me, I’m not eating it. I won’t be rude about it, I’ll politely remind them and thank them for the effort! But yeah, no.
— AskReddit
43. Having A “Dream Job”
“What’s your dream job?”
I think it’s weird to dream about work.
— AskReddit
44. Buying A Card To Go With A Gift
Having to buy a card for every occasion – like, why do I need to pay $5 to say “Happy Birthday” when I’m already getting you a gift?
— AskReddit
45. Saying “I’m Fine” When You Aren’t
I secretly find ridiculous is the expectation to always respond with “I’m fine” or “I’m good” when someone asks how you’re doing, even when you’re clearly not. It’s as if we’re all part of an unspoken agreement to avoid genuine emotional exchanges in casual interactions, reducing a potentially meaningful conversation to mere pleasantries. It feels like a missed opportunity to connect on a deeper level, yet it’s so ingrained that we all just go along with it.
— AskReddit