37 Bartenders Share The Wildest Things They’ve Overheard While Working
People confess the wildest things to bartenders. They’re on the front lines of emotions every night, witnessing joy, love, sadness, and hopefully minimal anger. Think about why people go to the bar. You’re celebrating something, drowning your sorrows, or meeting a friend to catch up.
That last group is probably great for business. One drink becomes two because nobody’s leaving halfway through the story.
Aside from drink orders, bartenders overhear some wild gossip. I’d have trouble staying focused. You’re telling your friend why the wedding’s off, and I’m supposed to remember which one of you wanted a lime?
These bartenders shared the conversations they overheard at work, and it’s enough to make you want to pull up a chair and get the whole scoop.
1.
I will tell you the strangest thing that’s happened to me.
I cut someone off because they were pissed.
That person returned hours later while we were closing.
I said “sorry mate you’re not getting a drink, I’ve already cut you off”
“Oh is that right?”
“Yeh it is”
“Well then” and he precedes to pull out a cooked fillet of chicken from his pocket and puts in on the bar and leaves without saying another word.
Dumbfounded, me and my mate carefully pick up the cooked chicken fillet, it was cold. So this lunatic has gone home and cooked a chicken fillet then put it into his fridge on the intention of later placing it onto our bartop as some sort of “horse head in the bed” kind of revenge.
We still have no bloody idea what he was doing.
2.
Was visiting my mom at work once (she tends bar) and heard her making conversation across the bar with a patron.
Suddenly, over the music, I hear the guy slam his fist onto the bar and yell “YOU… ARE FACTUALLY… WRONG.” He immediately faceplanted on the bar, and his buddy had to carry him out of there.
My mom was just commenting on the fact that the song that was playing was country…
3.
A woman was planning her dog’s birthday party, and was debating which dogs to invite since some of the dogs didn’t get along with her dog.
4.
Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard.
At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.”
Later on (still fairly basic): “F the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”
To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”.
5.
I’ve bartended but my favourite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar.
“Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist”
Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.
6.
Last night I was told by a guest that the Rosé of Cabernet I had displayed on my bar was actually Tequila and I was just trying to trick people… at a winery…. where we make the Rosé of Cabernet… from grapes on property.
When I told him he was mistaken, he told the entire bridal party I had a secret stash of tequila I was hiding from them.
7.
Back when you kept a news paper on the bar…
Guy walks in and goes straight for the paper. Looks in one section then the other. Places paper down.
I asked him if he found what he was looking for, and he said no. His ex isn’t passed away or in jail. Then he asked for a beer.
8.
I (25 F) recently had a bar guest on her (33 F) first tinder date (recently divorced) show up extra nervous. She ordered a drink and we chit chatted for a bit.
After a while her date showed up. He ordered a coffee and ended up telling his date that he was only 18.
She immediately cringed and told him that he seemed very sweet but he should be honest on his profile from now on (where he said he was somewhere around 30).
He then started just insulting her age from then on out. Asking things like “I bet you remember the Clinton administration” and other stupid stuff I can’t remember. Lmao
That poor lady. She sent him home and I got off shortly after, then we got hammered.
9.
What happens a lot while working in bars is that you overhear small snippets of conversation that sound really weird taken out of context. Stuff like:
- The best way to steal eggs is to pretend that they are something else..
- The dogs wouldn’t stand a chance against Bruce Springsteen in his prime…
- I don’t know if she can swim, but she bought sandals in the 90s…
I usually entertain myself making up stories about these conversations.
10.
These siblings (aged 50-60’s) arguing over their (not even passed and in fact present at the table) mother’s will and who gets what. It ended in a heated argument and the son speeding off.
11.
I was playing music at a wedding and I told every drunk person “I’m going to play your song next.” Only one person noticed their song wasn’t next. She came back to tell me and I told her “I have told every drunk person that I will play their song next.” And she said “oh, ok, cool.” I did not play her song next.
12.
I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to end the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.
My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.
13.
I’ve heard discussions on if my chest is real.
Listened to a couple in an open marriage and apparently bi scout out the picking for the evening.
Listened to tons of people telling their SO that they were working late. One guy even met a date later.
Listened to a couple have a very intense whispered argument about custody. I assumed a kid. Turned out to be a cat.
Listened to a couple guys plan how to rob me.
Bartending was fun I miss it sometimes.
14.
On Valentines day this year, we had a guest who accepted a face time from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.
15.
Not a rumor, but my almost 80 year old customer said “My wife said I need hearing aids. I asked her why and she said, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HEAR THE SAFE WORD!” Thanks for the laugh, John.
16.
“There’ll be handcuffs, bagels and, streamers, my kind of party”.
—anon
17.
One time I walked out to the patio to have a smoke break into three people all talking very drunkenly but also very seriously about theoretical physics.
18.
Randomly overheard two middle aged women,
‘as a woman ages she can choose between her face or her bum, but she cant choose both’
I have no idea.
19.
Had a nurse telling his colleagues that vegan meats are going to cause huge societal problems because they are structurally the same as human meat. And apparently once people acquire the taste for human meat, it’s an insatiable hunger they can never let go of and are going to naturally desire eating other humans.
I hope to never see him on his working hours.
20.
A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:
“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing illegal substances! At all!”
Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.
21.
Not a bartender but a bouncer. We have been getting a TON of reeeeally good fake ids to the point where a lot of the ones I get I am just guessing. Like perfect indistinguishable from real ids in every way. I heard from the older college kids that apparently AI is changing the fake id industry big time.
22.
A regular of mine recently told me all of these “second homes” and “air bnbs” out here on Oahu have been vacant for so long that when he goes to do any inspections or repairs the units are destroyed from rats coming up from the toilets. He says you see their footprints and turds everywhere and they chew up whatever they can.
23.
I worked in a bar in a truck stop & we got lots of solo men. Guy on bar stool says “The government can track our every move. Now they’re putting chips in newborns right at the hospital.” The trucker next to him-who he just met-shakes his head and says, “Yeah, I know.” Both were serious as could be and talked with each other about how the world is messed up. (It was the 2nd truckers response that got me).
24.
“They’re giving us (POCs) cancer in coffee. We should only drink pure hot water with lemon” [proceeds to drink multiple D’usse margaritas with Grand Marnier floaters].
25.
Ok, check this. In October, Alberta, Canada is going to secede from the country and become the “Dubai of the west” because of their vast oil fields. This came from a person calling themselves a pastor and govt figure. He seemed really excited about this revelation and he was very adamant he had “the numbers” to see it happen.
26.
No joke January 2020 i was bartending a conference for Doctor’s and heard some talking about “something happening over in China” and hoping for it to make its way over here to get it over with.
27.
I overheard two doctors at my bar discussing how they only treat symptoms and never the actual problem anymore. If they do try to treat the problem, they get red taped by insurance companies or reprimanded by the hospital itself.
28.
Not a rumor, but last night I got to listen to a middle aged German foreign national explain to a middle aged, American couple the parallels between his country’s history and our own country’s current events. Once the conversation steered towards WW2 history I had to step away or else it would’ve been obvious I was eavesdropping!
29.
Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kanallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timny at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because you know, she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Henebry, but he doesn’t like Erin Henebry, it was all a bunch of bull.
30.
The best rumors are the ones that start with “Don’t tell anyone, but…” and then spread around the bar in 20 minutes.
31.
Word on the street at my bar is American professional sports games are being thrown by players and/or refs due to sports betting. For example the NFL, every year I over-hear more and more people casually say to their friends “The game is rigged”.
32.
The owls are not what they seem.
33.
The Epstein Files are not going to go away.
34.
These three middle aged women (alone at the bar) discussing in excruciating detail their adult fantasies, which seemed to include “being with a younger man.” I was 22 at the time. They obviously knew I could hear them but it was so awkward. I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes.
35.
Not a rumor, but a something weird that happened last week while I was bartending.
Someone got drunk and start boasting about his ‘Very small pp’ to his friend. He kept saying “very tiny”, “very macro”. He then proceeds to lower his pants and show it to everyone in the bar. Lol.
36.
I overheard a guy telling his friend that he was going to have intimate time with that bartender (pointing to me). He proceeded to say, “she might not be there, but I am still going to.”
37.
I’ll share mine real quick. Two girls sitting at the bar, otherwise the place is empty. They start discussing the details and numbers of abortions the one girl has had. Not terribly offensive to me or anything, but I certainly didn’t expect to hear about it at work when I came in.
Otherwise the good ones come from a game of hypotheticals called “Make It or Break It”. Essentially, you have your perfect romantic partner. Everything about them is perfect, except for one flaw, and you have to decide if it’s a deal breaker. My favorite one is “Make it or break it: She’s your perfect woman, but she tells you after you’ve been dating for a while, that one time she slept with her dog.” “I think make it.” “What if she tells you it happened more than once?” “I don’t know dude, probably still make it if she’s perfect.” “What if it was YOUR dog?” “Dude that! That’s my DOG man!”