Going off grid for a while. Leaving my phone in the other room while it charges.

26 Funniest Tweets Today That Made Scrolling Feel Like A Good Use Of Our Time

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We’re halfway through October, which means the decorative skeleton on your neighbor’s porch has been outside more than I have this month. He seems happy, though. Great posture. These funny tweets are for the rest of us.

I keep telling myself I should get out and enjoy fall before it’s over. Then I open a window, see the cold and rainy weather, and decide I’ve experienced enough of the season today. There’s still time. That’s what I said in September, but I feel better about it now.

For anyone else spending this Thursday looking at a screen, here are today’s funniest tweets. Might as well have something good on it.

1.

Meghan's tweet about her husband's mug collection and balancing dishes.
via twitter

2.

Twitter post by hunter: personally i think the elephant really ties the whole room together.
via twitter

3.

Humorous tweet about calling it a day at 9:04am.
via twitter

4.

Deb's tweet about going off grid and leaving her phone in another room.
via twitter

5.

Nobody talks about the subtly addictive nature of falling asleep on the couch.
via twitter

6.

Side-by-side photos of a girl doing makeup and a bathroom sink with water on the floor.
via twitter

7.

Twitter post with a humorous exchange about being off today.
via twitter

8.

Tweet by @StaceyB_1980 about being an adult like a tomato is a fruit.
via twitter

9.

Tweet by audrey about asking her doctor if she's sexually active.
via twitter

10.

Man with a sad expression in a kitchen, caption about going to McDonald's 5 days in a row.
via twitter

11.

Tweet about cleaning an oatmeal bowl in 3 nanoseconds before cement forms.
via twitter

12.

A tweet from ash asking how she likes her eggs all in one basket.
via twitter

13.

Tweet by molola: Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could've been Friday.
via twitter

14.

Person hiding behind a large bush on a sidewalk with trees and grass.
via twitter

15.

Cale Crypto tweet about paying 3x for food and delivery.
via twitter

16.

Tweet by Slappy about finding a key on the ground and knowing a problem exists.
via twitter

17.

Tweet by Skin Muffins about taste and eggs.
via twitter

18.

Tweet by molola about quitting a job application halfway due to asking too much.
via twitter

19.

Tweet by Stacey about 'long story short' and 'short story long' jokes.
via twitter

20.

Text conversation about tea and feeling better, with a humorous reply.
via twitter

21.

Tweet about BMW drivers and parking spot taken by a random person.
via twitter

22.

Alan Felyk tweet about human hubris and grocery shopping.
via twitter

23.

A lady at the gym asked why I was sitting on a stationary bike.
via twitter

24.

Annie Hatfield tweet about third grade vocabulary words and showy prefixes.
via twitter

25.

Miss Ally's tweet about opening a packet of ham from the corner marked 'open here'.
via twitter

26.

Tweet from PontistGirl about finding stir fry all over bed after sleep.
via twitter