35 Women Share The Pettiest And Most Outrageous Things Their Mothers-In-Law Have Said Or Done, And “She Means Well” Isn’t Cutting It
“She means well” can explain a lot. At some point, though, you have to wonder how much work those three words are expected to do.
I’m generally in favor of keeping the peace at family gatherings, but after reading these mother-in-law stories, I’d have a hard time sitting quietly at the dinner table as if nothing happened.
These women over on Reddit shared the petty comments, outrageous behavior, and crossed boundaries they’ve dealt with from their mothers-in-law. Some are almost impressively passive-aggressive. Others make skipping the next family gathering seem like a pretty reasonable decision.
1. She Rewrapped Her Son’s Gift To His Girlfriend And Opened It Herself
She took the clothes my husband (my boyfriend at the time, who was living with her) had bought me for Christmas, wrapped them up and put them under the Christmas tree with “From: [my husband]” and “To: Mom” on the gift tag. Then she proceeded to open the gift on Christmas Day as if he’d bought it for her.
2. Apparently, The Baby’s Name Was Just A Suggestion
My MIL is condescending. For several months, she called my daughter by the name SHE wanted us to give her granddaughter until I finally snapped at my husband and told him to tell her to knock it the f*** off.
3. She Tried To Borrow Grandma’s Wheelchair For Her Wedding Performance
My mother-in-law tried to ruin our wedding by faking an ankle injury and attempting to steal my 80-year-old grandmother’s wheelchair just so she could show the guests how “hurt” she was.
I have several mental health issues and had to stop taking my regular medication to get pregnant. My husband emailed his parents about my illnesses and my psychiatrist’s recommendations to explain what was going on and keep them in the loop. They printed out that private email and started showing it to all their friends in an attempt to make me look crazy and portray me as a s***ty person for being mentally ill.
4. Nothing Says “Welcome To The Family” Like “Go Away” Socks
Gave me socks that said “Go Away” for Christmas, two months after we got engaged. Put glitter in my gift bag at my bridal shower so that it went everywhere when I opened the gift. Also, went to dinner and a concert with my husband’s ex-girlfriend the night before our wedding instead of helping set up the venue.
5. She Sent An Invoice For A Vacation That Never Happened
She sent me a bill for plane tickets for herself and her granddaughter (my ex-sister-in-law’s child) to come visit me in Hawaii. No plane tickets had ever been purchased, and they never came to visit me.
My personal favorite, though, was when she went into detail about which sexual positions her son and I needed to use to ensure she would get a granddaughter.
6. The Wedding Gift Apparently Came With A Return Policy
The pettiest thing she’s done? Stolen the wedding gift she gave us. It was a glass sculpture. We have a house full of kids, dogs, and a cat, so I kept it in its box in the guest room for safekeeping until our master bedroom renovation was finished.
She stayed in our guest room for a little while, and I noticed the sculpture was gone the night she was leaving our house. She said she hadn’t seen it. Weeks later, I brought it up again, and she tried to gaslight us by claiming she’d told my husband it was at her house and that he’d never come to get it back.
7. She Found A Loophole In The “No Hospital Visitors” Rule
We told my in-laws that we didn’t want anyone coming to see our firstborn in the hospital because I had a pretty traumatic birth. So, my MIL faked a UTI, said she was in the emergency room, and asked to be allowed up to our room after she was discharged. My husband caved because she guilt-tripped him.
Before we had our child, she would leave self-help books on his business doorstep after hours. These were books about divorce. Inside the books, she would write cryptic messages claiming they were from a local therapist who knew about me, saying I was a dangerous person and that my child should be taken away from me. It was literally her handwriting. She completely denied it later.
8. Two Years Of Silence Because The Welcome Wasn’t Enthusiastic Enough
She hasn’t spoken to me in over two years because she didn’t think I acted excited enough when she came to visit us. She did me a favor, really.
9. She Counted The Thanksgiving Silverware Before Anyone Could Leave
Mine’s a peach. First, she counted all the silverware after Thanksgiving to make sure I hadn’t stolen any.
Second, she tried to get my husband (then boyfriend)’s grandmother, who had dementia, to belittle me for where I worked. I was working at a nonprofit hospital at the time, and Grandma was a major donor at a different hospital in the city. So MIL tried to bait Grandma into embarrassing me, but her dementia must have been worse than MIL had hoped because Grams just kept eating her Easter brunch and didn’t give two s***s, lol.
She told hubs (then boyfriend) that he shouldn’t move in with me just because I was poor and needed a roommate. (I wasn’t poor, didn’t NEED a roommate, and we’d been together for a year at that point. We WANTED to live together.)
She threw a fit when we got engaged and had FIL call to ask us not to have an engagement party because it would “steal the spotlight” from SIL graduating from college for the second time. She wanted the family to prioritize SIL’s graduation party and felt they’d be less likely to attend if they came to our engagement party a month earlier.
10. Every Visit Comes With Another Very Convenient “Accident”
She purposely ruins things in our house when she comes to visit, but it’s always an “accident.” Here are just a few of the many “accidents”:
Accidentally scratched our glass stovetop. Accidentally spilled red wine on one of my favorite quilts. Accidentally put one of my cashmere sweaters in the dryer. Accidentally dropped the Diet Coke I’d been looking forward to from the drive-through, which she’d insisted on bringing in to help me.
She wanted to make her own coffee using our espresso machine but then “forgot” how to use it and broke it (by accident, of course). She never apologizes for these “accidents” but just laughs sheepishly when they happen. Who knew someone could be so clumsy and dim-witted?!
— Anonymous
11. She Invented A Feud With A Three-Year-Old
My MIL was out to dinner with my husband and told him a made-up story about our daughter, claiming that our daughter had said she hated her the previous day when the three of us were together, and my husband was at work.
It never happened. Our daughter was three years old and had never used that word, plus I was there the entire time. When my husband questioned her about it, she threw $200 on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.
12. She Took Credit For A Party She Brought Soda To
I threw a surprise birthday party for my husband. My MIL barely made the guest list. She didn’t help with the party in any way other than bringing over a couple of cases of soda.
I had the schedule meticulously planned to make sure it would be a surprise. On the day of the party, my MIL tried to show up early, while my husband was still home, which would have ruined the surprise. When I didn’t give her permission to show up early, she had a huge attitude when she finally arrived.
Anyway, the next day, she posted on Facebook thanking people for coming and thanking my husband’s friend, who had helped me with the party, for helping and cooking. She didn’t mention me at all. I planned, organized, and paid for the party! She made it look like she’d thrown the party and was thanking everyone for attending. It was crazy.
13. She Ordered A DNA Test After Her Son Was The One Who Cheated
Mine DNA-tested our daughter while we were separated because of HIS cheating. She said, in front of my 9-year-old, “You’re giving that selfish b**** too much money for a kid who isn’t even yours!” Surprise, she is. I was livid when I found out.
14. She Was Already Recruiting A Replacement Girlfriend
So many things, but aside from what I’ve forgotten (or rather, repressed), I’ll NEVER forget when she sent him an email with a link to the Facebook profile of a random woman around our age whom she’d met while hiking or climbing.
Her message was something along the lines of, “She speaks five languages and loves [all the outdoor activities MILFH likes to do],” with the implication that she was single, and he should meet her. We’d been together for well over a year at that point!
— skihare
15. Mother’s Day Lunch Came With An Insult Nobody Ordered
On Mother’s Day this year, my SIL and I grabbed lunch at the café my MIL manages. She came up to me while I was holding my niece and said, “Don’t you feel worthless today?” because we don’t have kids.
She also refuses to eat anything I make because she wants to believe she’s a better cook and baker.
16. She Hired A Private Investigator To Look Into Her Daughter-In-Law
My mother-in-law hired a PI and stalked me to the point that I left my home state and my husband.
They put together a binder full of false information from those “people finder” sites because they never asked me for any information themselves. They just went digging in s*** or asked their son, who, at the time, wasn’t listening to me.
They literally have no idea that I’d already been preyed on, yet they still feel entitled to information about me that I’ve deliberately kept private.
17. She Wanted To Speak To The Manager Of The Maternity Ward
We couldn’t have visitors at the hospital because of COVID, and my mother-in-law accused us of lying. They even called the maternity ward to confirm it.
18. The Brisket Apparently Needed A New Supervisor
I had made my first brisket, and when I started cutting it, she pushed me out of the way and took over because she didn’t like the way I was cutting it.
19. She Was Upset Her Son Took His Girlfriend On Vacation
My husband goes out of state every year for a work conference, so we treat it as part of our vacation, and the kids and I go with him.
The year we started dating, she kept saying, “Well, I KNEW that was gonna happen… You were gonna go off and get a girlfriend, and I wasn’t going to get to go!” She sounded like a child.
She said it so often that I finally told him to just take his mother and I would stay behind. He said, “But I don’t want to take my mother.” He must have reamed her out because she stopped bringing it up. We had the best time… without her.
20. She Forgot A Birthday, Then Somehow Made It Worse
Last year, my MIL planned a birthday celebration for my FIL, SIL, and BIL and said it made sense to celebrate all three together because their birthdays are all in September. My birthday is also in September, and I was upset that I’d been excluded.
My MIL said she’d forgotten that my birthday was in September, too. My husband and I had been together for 14 years and married for 8½ years at that point.
As we were discussing everyone’s birthdays, she proceeded to tell us that she found it kind of funny that my daughter’s birthday and mine were both on the 20th, so she should have remembered. (Mine is in September, and my daughter’s is in November.)
My jaw dropped, and my husband asked his mother if she was serious. Our daughter’s birthday is November 7, and she was six at the time.
21. She Started Showing Up At Classes And Dating The Boss
She followed me EVERYWHERE. She showed up at my classes and started dating my boss. I think she was looking for any ammunition she could use against me with my husband.
She tried to take over parenting, but only when it came to my daughter. A real nutbag. We’ve been together for 22 years, and she knows I’m here to stay. Now she whines to my husband that I hate her.
22. She Helped Herself To The Camera And The Facebook Uploads
We were staying at my mother-in-law’s house years ago, and while we were out, she went into our room, took the camera off the table, downloaded all the photos onto her computer and then posted them on Facebook.
23. Grandma Kept Referring To Herself As “Mama”
My MIL sneakily came up with an excuse to lift my shirt and sneak a peek at my tummy to check whether I had stretch marks because I’d mentioned that I didn’t think creams worked.
My MIL regularly calls herself “Mama” in front of my kid and once told him quietly (thinking I wasn’t listening), “I’m going to buy a car seat for my car, and you and I can go on looong drives all alone, with no one else.”
She also gets upset when she says she’s taking him for a walk and I say, “I’ll join you.”
24. Meeting The Baby Apparently Required Bringing Weight-Loss Tea
My MIL brought me weight-loss tea and workout gear when she came to visit her granddaughter. I’m only 3 kg heavier than I was before pregnancy…
25. She Spent $2,000 On Baby Gifts And Expected Wardrobe Approval
My mother-in-law bought over $2,000 worth of stuff for my baby before he was even born. Most of it I can’t even use (wrong size for the season, unsafe, etc.). She gets mad every time she sees him wearing something she didn’t buy. (Um, I have parents and grandparents who also like to buy him outfits?) Not to mention, none of the things she bought are cute.
My husband tried to kindly tell her that we didn’t need any more “stuff.” My MIL doesn’t work, and my FIL is older and probably should retire, but they have no savings because of her ridiculous spending.
She got mad and made up all kinds of lies about me to the rest of the family. She has told anyone who will listen (my sister-in-law called me to confirm this) that I’m the world’s worst daughter-in-law, that I refused to let her come over, and that I’m trying to keep her from seeing her grandson. Somebody make it make sense because I can’t.
— hbkw
26. The Baby’s Name Was Fine Until She Learned Where It Came From
My husband and I have different last names. When we decided to share our little one’s first name with everyone, MIL was over the moon until she asked where the name came from and learned that it was from my side of the family. She had a very obvious negative reaction.
From that point on, every item she sent for LO was addressed to “Baby [insert their last name],” despite knowing that my husband and I have different last names and that we’d already chosen a name for the little one.
27. She Had A Very Dramatic Way Of “Letting Him Go”
On our wedding day, she told me she was so sad that she finally had to “let him go,” then kissed him.
28. Leaving The Church Turned Into A Marriage Discussion
One year into our marriage, my husband and I left the church we’d both grown up in. We’re now both agnostic/atheist. When my in-laws found out, they flipped their s***.
My MIL told me I should divorce my husband (her son). She also told my husband that she hoped we’d never have kids because she couldn’t bear to see her grandchildren without the “light of Christ in their eyes.”
29. Her Idea Of A Thoughtful Gift Needed Some Serious Work
She gave me a book about perimenopause that she got from a woman she worked with who was “just about [my] age, around 45.” I was THIRTY.
She also mailed me a heavily used children’s book featuring a nursery rhyme that had briefly come up in conversation over lunch… two weeks after we had to terminate my first pregnancy at 20 weeks for medical reasons.
She practically overnighted it to me because it was apparently that important for her to send. She had no clue why this would upset me. Her “apology” after my husband chewed her out was also insanely cruel.
30. She Made An Already Painful Loss Even Harder
When she found out my dad was terminally ill, she called me oversensitive because her mom had died, too, and “everyone dies.”
The situations were completely different. Her mom was well into her 80s, and MIL had no relationship with her own mother. I was incredibly close to my dad, and he was only 58 when he died.
She also convinced her father that I was abusive and made him write a letter to my partner telling him he needed to kick me out, just five days after my dad’s funeral.
31. A Visit To Celebrate Their Progress Went In The Opposite Direction
When my husband and I started our venture into real estate investing, we wanted to share the results of our hard work with my in-laws.
We paid for them to come out and see what we’d accomplished, but my mother-in-law spent the entire visit trying to get my husband back on drugs, just as he’d been his whole life with her. Heaven forbid her son become a better person with a better woman by his side.
32. She Dismissed A High-Risk Pregnancy She Wasn’t Qualified To Assess
My MIL said she’d talked to her doctors about my pregnancy and that I wasn’t really high-risk. I should just suck it up and carry on as usual. I was just making a big deal out of it.
My baby was born 18 weeks too early…
33. Even The Answering Machine Couldn’t Catch A Break
My first MIL was an abusive alcoholic. Back in the days of answering machines, she would leave nasty messages that took up the entire tape.
When I was in the hospital having my daughter, she decided to show up at our house and refuse to leave. She found our sex toys and displayed them at the very front of the linen closet, so they were the first things you saw when you opened the door.
She said horrible, horrific, homophobic things to my gay teenager over the phone, then threw a massive tantrum in front of the rest of the family when said teenager refused to talk to her.
34. A Conversation About Her Illness Became Another Family Argument
She literally told my fiancé that I’d accused her of giving herself cancer when I suggested that mold or smoking could possibly have contributed to her bone cancer.
This came after listening to her rant about how fabric had given her cancer. She’s been a smoker for over 30 years and drinks Coke almost daily. Her cancer was first found in her breast and lung, then later metastasized to her bones.
When I told her how she’d made me feel by gaslighting me about the mold, she told people I’d been yelling at her. I never once raised my voice.
35. The Wedding Dance Was Only The Beginning
At my wedding, she danced with hubby during the father-daughter dance, AND she was PLASTERED, so she was all over HER OWN SON while they danced. It was gross. Hubby felt disgusted afterward.
She had rum in her Diet Coke in my delivery room at 10 a.m. while I was delivering my son, who had known birth defects.
She took the electricity account out of my BIL and SIL’s names for our trailer (we bought it from them) and had the $800+ deposit sent to her while telling BIL and SIL she had no idea what happened to the money. BIL came to our house threatening us over it.
Oh, and she brought her “partner” up here to visit us. HE WAS HER UNCLE, and he was just a nasty person. I didn’t want my kids around him.