41 Obvious Things People Had To Explain To Adults Who Really Should’ve Known Better
Every time I feel like I’m getting the hang of being an adult, I have to Google how long chicken lasts in the fridge. Usually while eating it. So I’m willing to give people some leeway when it comes to gaps in their knowledge.
Still, there are conversations you just don’t expect to have with someone who has a driver’s license.
These people in this Reddit thread shared the most obvious things they’ve had to explain to other adults. Some are harmless misunderstandings. Others would have me looking around for the person responsible for this misunderstanding.
1. Your Kids Liking Our Dog Does Not Entitle You To Weekend Custody
My wife and I had to explain to the neighbor that our dog is part of our family, and no, they can’t just have him. Their kids wanted our dog, which was cute, until the mother also decided that she wanted our dog and it was only fair that they got to have him on the weekends because we get to have him all week long.
2. The River Is Green Because Of Dye, Not Because It’s Beer
Every St. Patrick’s Day in San Antonio, they dye the river green. I work hospitality and had a middle-aged woman asking me if she could drink the water from the river.
I laughed, thinking it was a joke, but she was really serious about it and got mad, saying I was being condescending. I told her no, you should not drink that water, and she said that since there was green beer, she thought the river could be beer.
I reminded her there are ducks living there, and I don’t think the city wanted drunk ducks going around downtown. She called corporate saying I insulted her. She was not drunk.
3. Halloween Will Never Fall On Friday The 13th
That Halloween has never and will never fall on Friday the 13th. It was my mom.
4. Camouflage Paint Does Not Come Out Of The Can In A Pattern
That no matter how much you might want to put a camo pattern on your walls, you, not the paint, have to determine what that pattern looks like. You will also have to purchase multiple cans of paint tinted differently because “camo” doesn’t come out of a can that way.
5. A Hamburger With Cheese Is A Cheeseburger
At my work, a lady wanted a hamburger but with cheese on it.
I said, “Oh, so you want a cheeseburger.”
The lady said, “No, I said a hamburger with cheese on it.”
I said, “That’s called a cheeseburger.”
Lady screams, “No!! I want a damn hamburger!!!!! With cheese on it!!!”
6. Islands Don’t Tip Over If Everyone Stands On One Side
Had to explain to someone that islands don’t tip over if you put too much weight on the edge.
7. Splitting A $20 Tip Shouldn’t Be This Complicated
Was tipped a twenty-dollar bill to be split between myself and a coworker. I handed her $10 I had in my pocket and took the $20. She said it wasn’t fair that I had $20 and she only had $10.
I tried to explain to her that I already had the $10, so another $10 equaled $20. She couldn’t wrap her head around it, insisting I was trying to rip her off.
She gave me back the ten bucks, took the twenty to a register, and made change of two ten-dollar bills. As she hands me mine, I showed her that now I still have $20 and she has $10, but somehow she was satisfied she’d thwarted my attempts to shortchange her.
Needless to say, I didn’t stay friends with her after that. This is made all the more ridiculous by the fact that she had once told me she was forced to repeat grade 12 math class because she got 100%, and the teacher accused her of cheating. The following year she got 98%. I’m thinking something fishy is going on there.
8. A Cruise Ship Cabin Below Sea Level Would Not Have A Balcony
Why a room below sea level on a cruise ship would not have a balcony.
9. The State Borders On Maps Aren’t Painted On The Ground
My mom asked me why you couldn’t see the borders of states when you were in an airplane.
10. “New Moon” Doesn’t Mean We Get A Replacement Every Month
That Earth has one moon. The new moon on the calendar every month confused her.
11. The Sticky Side Of The Tape Goes On The Box
How to use packing tape! You haven’t lived until you’ve told a 40-year-old man to put the sticky side on the box.
12. Adding Broccoli Does Not Make Chicken Vegetarian
Food isn’t vegetarian just because it has vegetables in it, and lack of vegetables doesn’t automatically mean it isn’t vegetarian.
Story time. I went to a restaurant and was looking over the menu, which had vegetarian-friendly options marked. Pretzels with cheese weren’t marked, so I asked the waitress if she knew why. If it was just something in the cheese, I still wanted to split the pretzels with others at the table and skip the cheese dip.
Her answer? “Well, it’s like, um, so pretzels don’t have any vegetables like broccoli in them, they’re just bread, so they aren’t vegetarian. But if you wanted something that is, then you could maybe get the chicken and broccoli because it does have a vegetable with it. But like the mac and cheese wouldn’t be because it doesn’t have vegetables.”
Mac and cheese was marked vegetarian-friendly.
13. Airplanes Aren’t Poking Holes In The Ozone Layer
An ex was convinced that the reason the ozone layer is thinning is because airplanes poke holes in it as they pass through. No telling her otherwise.
14. The Human Body Has More Than Six Bones
There are more than six bones in the human body. She thought it was head, back, arms, and legs.
15. Bad Food Is Not A Police Matter
“Well, sir, it’s not illegal to serve food that tastes bad. … No, this isn’t a police issue.”
16. Penguins Are Still Birds Even Though They Can’t Fly
I had to explain to a teacher, in front of her class, that a penguin was a bird. I didn’t want to be like that, but she was adamant that if it didn’t fly, it wasn’t a bird.
17. Earth Was Already Here Before We Started Numbering The Years
I had to explain to my friend that the Earth wasn’t 2019 years old.
18. Meat Is Muscle, And That Was Apparently Bad News
I had to explain to my mother that muscles are meat. A piece of meat was tough, and so I must have said something about what part of the cow the muscle came from. No, we weren’t eating muscles, we were eating “meat.”
She was sickened by the concept that anyone would eat muscles. Somehow this got to the point of her claiming that humans didn’t have any “meat” on them because they aren’t food.
I did not “win” that argument. Humans have no meat, meat is not muscles. Period. Oh, it turns out people are not part of the animal kingdom either. It was a dismal childhood.
19. Neither Pole Is “The One That Is Always Hot”
In regard to the North and South poles, neither is “the one that is always hot.”
20. You Can’t Just Pee Your Period Out And Get On With Your Day
That I couldn’t just go to the bathroom and pee my period out to be done with it. He was about 19 or 20 at the time and obviously didn’t have sex education. Been married 25 years. He will never live that down.
21. The North Pole Exists Even If Santa Doesn’t
That the North Pole is an actual place on the planet and not just a mythical place where Santa and his elves live. Also had to explain that the South Pole is real.
Granted, they did not think Santa is real. But they also didn’t believe me outright about the poles. They first argued, saying I was crazy, and then Googled it.
22. A Tiny Dog Still Makes Actual Messes
Don’t bring your dog to work and let her pee/poop on the carpet. Tiny poop and little puddles are not okay just because they’re tiny.
She weighs four pounds. He said she’s so little it doesn’t matter. He said he never even notices at home, and if I had a dog, I’d feel differently.
(Have a dog. Still don’t want urine and feces in my carpet, at home or at work.)
23. Chicken Is Not Something You Order Medium Rare
As a server, there are so many times I have to explain to guests that chicken can’t be cooked “medium rare.”
24. The Sun And The Moon Are Two Different Things
Had to explain to a neighbor that the sun and the moon were not the same thing.
25. Believing In Jesus Does Not Prevent Diarrhea
You can still get diarrhea even if you believe in Jesus.
26. Take Your Clothes Off Before You Iron Them
You can’t/shouldn’t iron your clothes while you’re wearing them. One guess as to how this came up.
27. South Africa Is The Name Of An Actual Country
Scenario 1:
Them: “So where are you from?”
Me: “South Africa.”
Them: “Wait, what? Aren’t you supposed to be Black?”
Me: “Uh, yeah, no.”
Scenario 2:
Them: “So which country are you from?”
Me: “South Africa.”
Them: “Yeah, but which country?”
Me: “Yeah, I just said South Africa.”
Them: “Come on, dude, just tell me the country. I know where south of Africa is.”
Me: “No, actually South Africa is a whole country.”
28. Dinosaurs Aren’t Mythical Creatures
I had to explain to a lady that dinosaur bones at the Museum of Natural History in D.C. were real. She thought dinosaurs were mythical creatures, not real.
29. Indian People Do Not Have Spices Running Through Their Blood
I once had to explain to a college friend that Indians didn’t have spices running in their blood that allows them to eat spicier food.
30. Press The Elevator Button For The Direction You Want To Go
Press up when you want to go up in the elevator and down if you want to go down. She thought you had to guess where the elevator was, and if it was under you, let’s say, you had to press up.
31. New Mexico Is Part Of The United States
New Mexico. Is. A. State. You have no idea the number of people that believe we are a part of Mexico.
32. The Stove Has Settings Between “Off” And “Burn Everything”
Told my roommate that if he cooked food on less than the highest level of heat, he wouldn’t burn as much food and would generally have more success.
A week later, I explained to him that when he was just boiling water, high heat was okay.
33. Drinks Have Calories, Too
That drinks have caloric content. A coworker was complaining how she was having trouble losing weight and didn’t realize drinking four hot chocolates a day was not really conducive to weight loss.
34. Sixty Miles Per Hour Means Sixty Miles In An Hour
When you travel at 60 mph, you will cover sixty miles in an hour.
35. Hens Can Lay Eggs Without A Rooster
That chickens can lay eggs without a rooster around. My dad and grandma kept trying to tell me there HAS to be a rooster or they don’t lay.
I got to explain that to have fertilized eggs you need a rooster, but regular eggs for eating don’t need a rooster.
36. Canada Is In North America
Canada is part of North America.
37. Peeing Does Not Require Removing A Tampon
Had to explain to a female friend of mine that she doesn’t have to take out her tampon to pee because it’s two completely different holes.
38. Spain Is Real, And Speaking Spanish Does Not Make Someone Mexican
That Spain is a real place. That not everyone who speaks Spanish is a Mexican. And that Mexicans are called that because they’re from Mexico. That “titties” and “boobies” are not the anatomical words for breasts.
39. High Beams Need To Be Turned Down For Oncoming Cars
Turn off the high beams for cars traveling in the opposite direction.
40. Signing Up For Insurance Means Agreeing To Pay For It
Yes sir, when you sign up for insurance, you’re agreeing to pay for it.
41. Unpaid Utility Bills Can Lead To Disconnected Utilities
If you don’t pay your utility bill, then said utility will be turned off. Every day at work I have to say this to customers. Every. Day.