55 Customer Service Workers Share The Petty Ways They Got Back At Rude Customers
I once made a customer count out pennies to buy a pizza. It wasn’t a personal passion of mine. He was just incredibly rude to myself and all of my coworkers that day.
The problem was, we couldn’t accept $100 bills, which was something he felt I had personally decided to just make up to ruin his evening. He ended up about a dollar short on the pizza, and under normal circumstances, I would’ve let it go. Instead, I let him count out the exact change in pennies. I felt bad, but I wasn’t in the mood to put up with his attitude. All he had to do was be nice or just walk across the parking lot to break the hundred while he waited for his order anyway.
That’s the thing about being rude to customer service workers. Sometimes the person you’re yelling at has a little room to help you out. These workers shared the petty ways they handled customers who talked themselves out of that courtesy.
1. Free Desserts For Everyone Around Them
It’s been a very long time, but I still remember this six-top of women being very rude and obnoxious the whole time they were there. Constantly complaining and sending food back that there was nothing wrong with. Towards the end of the meal they did the typical “what are you going to give us since we were unhappy” spiel, so I decided to give free desserts to all the tables around them for having to deal with them, loudly apologizing to them for having to sit through that. The stares I got were worth it.
2. Let Me Get The Manager. And The Boss.
I work at a fireworks store, and 98% of the time I am the only employee in the store. Every now and then I would have customers that are very rude and ask to speak to a manager, so I say, “Okay, I’ll go get the manager.” Then I duck down behind the counter, put a hat on that says “MANAGER” and stand back up, and ask what seems to be the problem.
I also have “BOSS” just in case they would like to speak to someone higher up.
3. One Perfectly Measured Cosmopolitan
Semi-regular bar guest who was kind of entitled and annoying complained about the cosmo I served her, asking me, “When are you going to give me the rest of it?”
Now, I usually free pour in the interest of saving time, but this drink was effectively only an ounce shy of the rim. I’m not sure I could’ve given her more without it spilling, especially with a stemmed glass. I knew I hadn’t shorted her.
So I offered to remake it for her, grabbed my tin, jigger, all the ingredients (even our recipe book, although I knew the ingredients anyway), and I painstakingly made a huge show of making an exactly correct Cosmo in front of her.
Turns out, I had overpoured! I was distraught, and nearly threw myself before this woman, prostrate, to beg for forgiveness, and lament my incompetence. I assured her, very sternly, that I would never make such a transgression ever again, and that she could rest assured she’d never get anything besides a perfect Cosmopolitan from me from now on.
She began to protest and insist that it was fine, but I wouldn’t be moved. I snatched that abomination of an overpoured drink away before it could further taint her dining experience. Instead, I handed it to another of my guests, who so selflessly agreed to accept the drink, free of charge.
She stopped complaining after that.
4. The Scenic Route To A Light Switch Cover
I used to work at a big-box retail hardware chain. Late at night they cut staffing so there was only a handful of us in a huge facility. I had a very rude customer screaming at me saying, “I demand service! Nobody is here to give me service and wait on me.” This was in the electrical department at one end of the store. She was looking for a basic light switch cover, which just so happened to be in the aisle we were in right next to us. Now before I could point to them right next to her, she unloaded on me about how incompetent we were and blah blah. On her high horse she started talking down about how retail employees are idiots and can’t do their job right anyways.
I’m not the kind of person to get offended. Rather, I look forward to these situations. So I kindly told the lady I was sorry for the inconvenience and gave her directions to the other end of the store and told her they moved switch plates to building materials in the last aisle to the left. Happy to get service, she walked away satisfied. I called ahead to my coworker at the end of the store and explained I was sending a special customer to him. This is our lingo for game time. When she got to him, he redirected her back to the garden department, which was on the opposite side of the store at the front end, where the third coworker was waiting to send her back to me. Infuriated once again but with a shocked and horrified look as she saw me standing in the same spot, pointing to the switch plates. She quietly picked a few off the shelf with a defeated look. Later we got a “coaching” from the shift supervisor, as was standard practice for customer complaints. He had a hard time keeping a straight face during the process.
5. Bye, Guys!
I once had a table complain to me that I said “Hi guys!” instead of “Hello sir. Hello madam.” This was in a ’50s-style burger place and definitely not in some formal steakhouse kind of place. For context, I should also point out that at this place, every server was expected to vocalize some sort of greeting as guests arrived and some form of goodbye and thank you as they left. So what do all of my coworkers end up doing repeatedly and pointedly as this particular couple leaves? “Bye guys!” “Have a great day guys!” “Come back soon you guys!” etc. The husband was amused and laughed while the wife, the one who had complained to me, was less amused.
6. Your Name For The Next Few Hours Is “Knock Knock”
Every time a bad parent came in to the bookstore where I worked. Snap at your kid for something innocent? Let me show him to the kids’ joke books. Your name for the next few hours is “Knock Knock.”
— Anonymous
7. The Invoice They Really Wanted Faxed
Someone called requesting an invoice faxed. Then they called again about 10 times in 15 minutes asking why they hadn’t received it yet.
I faxed them a copy on the hour every hour for the next day or two.
8. One Bag Of Thoroughly Mixed Badges
I work at Girl Scouts. When a troop mom comes in to buy like a hundred badges and is rude to me or my staff, I make sure to shake the bag real good and get those badges all mixed up and out of order. It’s the Girl Scout way.
9. Let Me Go Check With The Kitchen
I also like pretending to not know about certain booze or dishes they ask for that are off menu. Especially if they repeatedly ask for off-menu things.
“Let me go check with the bartender/chef!” Take care of other tables for five minutes. Come back.
Me: “Sorry, we don’t have that.”
Guest: “Well, do you have x?”
Me: “Let me go check!”
Guest: “No, wait…”
Me: already gone.
10. Every Possible Question, At Full Volume
Having a conversation on your phone and ignoring me? I’m going to ask you every single question imaginable as loudly as I can. Do you want paper or plastic? Single or double bagged? How many items do you want in each bag? How will you be paying? Do you want us to load your groceries in your cart? I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.
— Anonymous
11. Enjoy Your Default Wi-Fi Password
Kind of customer service. I install fiber internet in people’s homes.
If you’re rude or otherwise un-nice to me I leave your Wi-Fi password the default on the modem, which is a random string of 12 letters and numbers.
12. The Fees Could Have Been Waived
It is unbelievably easy for me to waive things like late fees or contract fees. If a customer is nice, or at the very least, not abrasive, it will often get them out of paying extra. If you are rude to me I will not offer to waive anything.
13. What Can I Get For You, Again?
I only have so much mental bandwidth while I’m bartending, so I purposely keep my eyes down while making drinks until I have enough memory open for the next order.
But inevitably, guests approach the bar and (whether or not they’re up next) state their bar order at me. But since I’m not looking at them and it’s usually loud enough for plausible deniability, I just pretend I was too in-the-zone to hear.
(I absolutely hear every one of them.)
And then when it’s their turn, I look up with my most genuine, hospitable smile, and I ask, “What can I get for you?”
14. A Very Different Goodbye In French
Being a French waitress in a French restaurant in London, I would sometimes pretend to be polite while the rudest customers would leave. They would think I was saying Goodbye Come Back Soon. Instead I was smilingly saying Goodbye Never Come Back, in French.
15. Yeah, That Wasn’t Going To Change
Not truly malicious, but this old lady came to my work as I was in the copy center and was deeply offended that I used the term “yeah.” She told me that’s rude and to say “yes.” I then proceeded to answer all her questions and every question from other customers around her and behind her with yeah strictly to see her get steamed. It was glorious and did not affect anybody but her.
16. The Cart Collection Suddenly Took Longer
Grocery cart getter here. If I saw someone put a cart in front of their car instead of walking the 15 feet to put it away, I would grab my line of carts and block them in. I would proceed to take the longest time ever to gather their cart while pretending not to notice them sitting in a running vehicle.
17. The Missing Parking Ticket
I had a nightmare table that was rude, ran me around all night and then stiffed me on top of it. They forgot their parking garage ticket on the table when they left. That baby went straight in the garbage. They came back and looked all over for it. It was enjoyable to watch. If you don’t have your parking ticket to exit the garage you pay the max amount to park, which was like $30.
18. The Lost Debit Card Was Reported Promptly
I had this incredibly rude lady come into my restaurant once. I work at a cafeteria-style BBQ joint where you go up to the counter, order your meats, and the meat guy cuts them for you and places them on your tray. (Or, wrapped in foil and bagged up for to-go orders.) Then you move down and order your sides, then at the end, order drinks/desserts and pay at the register.
First off, this lady was just ignorant. She didn’t understand the process, but was bossing everyone around like she did. While the meat guy was cutting the meats of the person in front of her, she was like, “EXCCCUUUUUSE MEEEE, I’m right here, I have a to-go order, are you going to help me or what??” My meat guy patiently explained the concept of waiting your turn, and she huffed and crossed her arms. Each time the lady in front of her ordered something else, the rude lady would roll her eyes and sigh loudly.
Finally, when it was her turn, she loudly exclaimed, “It’s about TIME,” and began ordering her meat. That was an experience all in itself, as she tried to order a whole chicken (we sell leg quarters, which is a leg and a thigh) and when the meat guy explained this she was like, “FINE, four ‘leg quarters,’ isn’t that what a whole chicken is?” My meat guy had kind of had it and sweetly said, “Well, ma’am, not really, since there will be no breasts, and I have yet to come across a chicken with four legs.”
Anyways… The rest of the time she was ordering, she was difficult and rude. The marbled brisket was too fatty, the lean wasn’t fatty enough… She [complained] about us not having fries, and demanded we make her sides of BBQ sauce even though there’s a condiment counter for customers to get their own.
After she paid, she left her debit card on the counter.
Now, normally, when this happens, we’ll hold on to the card for a couple days in case the customer calls. I waited a couple hours, then called the bank listed on the card, and gave them her name and card number.
The bank told me they were cancelling the card and mailing her a new one. The next day she showed up and tells me rudely that I “forgot” to give her her credit card back (of course, it’s my fault).
I handed her the card but then told her sweetly, “Ma’am, I’m afraid the card will be no good to you. I called your bank to report a lost card and they said they were cancelling it and sending you a new one.”
She flipped, saying that she NEEDED her card RIGHT NOW.
Sorry… Not my problem.
19. One Last Thing To Clear From The Table
Family came in 10 minutes before we closed and said they’d eat quickly (haven’t heard that before). An hour later I walk up to their table with the smelliest garbage can I can find and ask if I can get anything out of their way. They left after giving me disgusted looks.
20. One Pizza, Four Friends, Three Pieces
Not crazy malicious, but I worked at a pizza place for a while.
My buddies came in about five minutes before closing, ordered a pizza and planned on eating it there.
There were four of them, and they were barely able to scrounge enough cash between three of them to pay for the pizza.
Now I get to undo about 30–45 minutes of cleaning to make this pizza. I’m as careful as possible so I get as little dirty as I possibly can. As the pizza is in the oven, I go talk to the owner and run my petty idea of getting back at them past him. He gives me the green light. (He knew they were my friends, and two of them were regulars he knew.)
Their pizza comes out of the oven, and I cut it into three very uneven [pieces] and proceed to serve it to the four of them.
The guy who didn’t pay is about six feet tall and 250 pounds, with a decent bit of muscle. One of the others is a tad shorter, and a tad lighter, but still large.
They take the two largest pieces, and leave the other two to squabble over the final piece. There was much whining, and a bunch of spilled red peppers (on accident of course), but it was very worth it.
21. His Album Finally Got An Audience
When I was a bartender about two jobs ago, I had this guy who would come in probably once a month and always sit at the bar and chat my ear off. He would have gin martinis and try to get me to give him a better price or try to haggle with me to discount his bill. Try to get Tanqueray 10 out of me for the price of regular Tanqueray and [stuff] like that, and he’d rack up a bill that was almost always around $80–$100, and then he’d slip me a $5 bill at the end and be like, “We’re cool, right?”
So one time he comes in and he gives me his CD because he likes to make music. “I just made this album, you should check it out,” he says. It was really bad. Like really REALLY bad music. So the next time he came in I played the CD at the bar when it got busy. Everyone else sitting at the bar was like, “This music is so terrible, you should change it.”
— u/m0c0
22. The Unrequested Senior Discount
I used to get so many groups of middle-aged women who were soooo rude. I would bring the check and let them know I took the liberty of adding the senior discount for them, no ID needed, you’re sooo welcome and have a great day. They never liked that lol.
23. Directions In The Opposite Direction
I used to work at the admissions desk of a museum in a big city. One evening, before closing time, this harried-looking businessman walks in and asks directions to a restaurant that was about a five-minute walk away. As I collected my thoughts so I can give him the best directions possible, he suddenly yelled in my face, “IF YOU DON’T KNOW, JUST SAY SO!!!”
I put on my best smile, assured the [rude man] that I did, indeed, know exactly how to get there, then proceeded to send him on a [miserable] route in the opposite direction.
Slept like a baby that night.
— Anonymous
24. Only One Of Them Needed To Show ID
Had a very rude lady who was with a date that looked about the same age. Came time to card for drinks, asked to see his ID (he was mid-twenties). She took hers out assuming I would ask to see hers as well. I told her, “Oh, I don’t need to see yours.” It was so satisfying to see her process that I thought she looked so much older than her date.
It was probably the meanest thing I’ve ever done, but she had been there five minutes and already been completely [rude] to everyone in her path. No regrets.
25. An Unexpected Seniors Day Discount
I used to work in a store that had a “seniors day” where anyone over 55 got 10% off. We didn’t have to check IDs or anything. If I had anyone who was rude and obviously under 55, I would end off the transaction with, “And because it’s seniors day, you get 10% off!” And watch them cringe.
26. That Card Went Straight Into The Tip Jar
Inspired by something I actually saw on Reddit a few years back:
I was working the bar alone on a really busy night and was getting plenty of the usual money-wavers and people shouting at me to serve them next. But the one that really took the cake was a guy who threw his card at me when I had my back turned. I grabbed the card and put it in my tip jar, and didn’t serve him until he’d apologised.
I think the original commenter I saw had put the card in the bin, but [there was no way] I was going to dig through the bin to take his card out afterwards.
— Anonymous
27. At Least Someone Stayed Dry
I’m not sure if it really counts (and it’s the only thing I can really think of off the top of my head) but I was working a busy Saturday night. I had a full six-table section as well as a six-top and a four-top in two other sections, so I was running around to say the very least. I had a needy table of four middle-aged women, complained about their food and their drinks, they were loud and disruptive, just… basically awful.
When they finally left after two and a half hours, I realized that one of the women at the table had left her fancy umbrella.
I stayed very dry during our spring storms last week.
28. One Napkin Short
It was policy at a pizza shop I worked at a few years ago to tuck napkins into the side of the box before sending a pizza out. If someone happened to be rude to me, I’d simply tuck one less napkin than they needed into the side of their box.
It worked pretty well because most people came in groups. It was rare to get a customer show up on their own. So a rude couple would only get one napkin.
It’s the little things.
— Anonymous
29. The Receipt Required Some Extra Math
If you pressed enter a few times on the cash register, the same item would show up twice in the receipt without actually changing the total price. So if I scan five items for $10 and pressed enter like 15 times then the last scanned item would show up twice. So six items would “scan” but the total would still only be $50.
The people pay the right amount but it’s hilarious to see them looking at the receipts outside and trying to work out the math and counting their items in the bag.
Edit: Only for people who try to steal stuff.
30. The More Expensive Way To Mail A Letter
Not a server, but I witnessed the simplest form of revenge today and I think y’all will appreciate it. I’m at the post office. This [woman] in front of me is just the absolute rudest to the poor postal worker for no reason. She came in with an attitude and threw the letter at him. “I need some kind of proof this makes it out of here.” It was very clearly just a letter in an envelope. She could have gone with certified mail. She could have gone with first-class shipping. I ship various things for my business so I’m aware of pricing. The postal worker tells her, “It will cost $9.45 for proof of shipping.” He shipped it one-day priority. She angrily paid it, didn’t question it and left. That’s what you get for being [rude].
31. A Drive-Thru Drink With Extra Ice
I used to work at Arby’s when I was in high school. Whenever a customer was extra rude in the drive-thru I would fill their drinks with extra ice and not hand it to them until everything else was finished so that they would drive away before having a chance to notice.
32. Nice Tables Got The Fresh Biscuits
I worked at a chain restaurant for a while that has very popular free “unlimited” cheesy biscuits.
(People would really get [worked up] over these biscuits. “Hi, welcome to…” “TWO WATERS AND CHEESY BISCUITS QUICK.”)
Anyway, when people would [annoy me] by being rude or complaining to get stuff for free, I would pick the old, hard biscuits from earlier even if there was a tray of fresh biscuits. And nice tables would get the best biscuits.
33. They Got All The Extra Syrup They Wanted
I worked for several years making snow cones in an amusement park. I get that it’s hot and people hate waiting in line, but come on. We’re working as fast as we can.
Whenever we got obnoxious customers, the ones that want to cut the line and absolutely need extra syrup, on six different cones, in multiple flavors, plus verbally [harassing] my kids? Oh, they got extra. We were constantly making new snow, but in 90-degree weather, the stuff that’s been sitting a few minutes in the box gets wet, compared to the fresh snow. Now normally, we push the wet snow into the bottom of the cup, drain it, flavor it, pack fresh snow on top and flavor it again. Every bite would be sweet and unmelted. But act like a [rude customer], we’d give you nothing but wet ice, plus extra extra extra syrup. Sometimes, they’d even cheer you on as you poured the syrup.
They’d walk away thinking that they’d “won.” Meanwhile, we knew that in fewer than five minutes, you’d be wearing the cone, because it was so full.
34. They Wanted To Breathe Fire
Years ago when I worked at Subway (early ’90s), the store did their own delivery. An Army base was close by and they were the majority of deliveries. Customers would get [irritable] and complain sometimes they didn’t get enough jalapeños the last time they ordered, and dangit, they want to breathe fire. So I would pour some juice and tons of seeds from the jalapeño bin on the bread. The following week they would call and ask for light jalapeños.
35. Extra Pickles Meant Extra Pickles
Twenty-two years ago when I worked at Steak ’n Shake I would do things like pack cups with ice before filling them, smash their burgers with my thumbs while assembling them. When they would complain about “not enough extra…” I would triple the size of the sandwich with whatever it was…usually pickles.
As much as a customer would motivate me to actually [mess] (meaning making it not safe to eat) with their food, I never did. Though I did say the line occasionally, “Are you sure you want me to make/serve you food after speaking to me like that?”
36. The Coffee Finally Passed The Temperature Test
I had a customer complain that her coffee was too cold. It was literally a fresh pot. She put a lot of creamer in it. Shrugged it off and this time ran hot water into the cup to make it warm, then poured another cup. Still not good enough (again, she put creamer in it). So. I went back, filled up a new cup with hot water, dumped half of it out, filled up the rest with decaf. That was hot enough for her! Enjoy your bean water.
37. The Screwdriver Became Orange Juice
If a customer is getting rude or obnoxious their buzz gets ruined. I serve complimentary cocktails to gamers. If they get snotty their screwdriver becomes a glass of orange juice.
38. Aggressively Excellent Customer Service
Working in a call center, we will often be overly nice and cheerful to unhappy callers. They either turn it around, or if they are genuinely rude, it annoys [them endlessly] and they can’t claim that we were rude.
It truly is the small things.
39. A Room Near The Lobby, As Requested
I worked in a four-star hotel, and if I had an annoying guest, they got one of two room types.
One set of rooms was right near our indoor pool, full of screaming children. The other set was partially underground because our hotel was built on a slight incline, and were known to be quite cold during winter, and full of bugs in the summer.
The pool-adjacent rooms were also useful for the rude big-time businessman who wanted a room near the lobby, since they were the closest rooms we had.
40. The Kids’ Menu Came With An Extra Charge
Lady demanded stuff from the child menu (12 and under, please!) over and over. I finally realized it was really silly to argue over a rule on a menu. So we just charged her for a double side (close to adult entrée cost at this point), and we’ve done it ever since. Easy fix to a common problem.
— Anonymous
41. Did You Say Diet Pepsi?
When I worked at a casino, I had to watch the food counter for a few minutes. A terribly rude woman demanded food. When she asked for a Pepsi, I said, “Of course, ma’am, a Diet Pepsi.” She went red and insisted on a regular. “Of course.”
42. Everyone Got Carded Except One
When a group of annoying college-aged no-tip brunchers come in I take the IDs of everyone in the group for booze…except the ‘prettiest’ one. And just leave her to wonder about it.
43. An Unfortunate Paint Recommendation
I work in a paint store. For some reason it is a misconception that we are also interior decorators… Often we get middle-aged ladies coming in with large pieces of furniture and demanding we find them colours that coordinate with it. Most of these ladies are horribly rude and [irritable] when I explain that I can give them my opinion but I suggest they hire an interior decorator if they want a professional. That’s when I intentionally sell them on [messed] up colours. “This puke green is the perfect blend of warm undertones and soft overtones for this chunk of couch you’ve brought in. As a feature colour I suggest this soft purple. It complements the green perfectly and will add character to your living room.”
44. The Straw Had A Hidden Problem
When you get a rude person on takeout.
Take the paper-wrapped straw, hold it in your fist with your thumb on the top of it, then jam it onto the counter. It will crack the straw on the inside. When they take the first few sips it will be fine, but when the liquid gets below the crack they can’t suck anymore. By that time they are long past it being worth it to turn around. Then what, you are going to call and complain for a hole in your straw? Yes…petty.
45. The Ham Arrived A Little Squished
When I worked in a deli, there were always very rude and demanding people. I would gently squeeze the package before handing it over and wishing them to have a nice day. Make your stupid sandwich with your deformed ham now, [rude customer].
46. A Different Kind Of New-Car Smell
Car sales, after selling them a new car I’d drive it up for delivery and most definitely let one rip to be the first to fill the car with my pleasant aroma.
47. A Smile On The Way Past The Table
When I worked in a catering hall, I would crop dust while passing through tables with a big smile on my face before swiftly exiting before the smell reached their nostrils.
48. The Beer Got A Little Shake
I shake their beer as I’m bagging it, especially the ones that are clearly road sodas.
ETA: I work at a liquor store, former server though!
— Anonymous
49. Those Computer Preferences Got Reset
Working as a computer technician. I would do little things if customers were rude or hateful towards me. I would do things like delete their saved passwords and reset their preferred programs. People would never catch on to little things like that.
50. Some Unwanted Email Subscriptions
I have been known to find email addresses and sign them up for obnoxious newsletter chains about diseases.
51. The Produce Got A Thumbprint
I worked as a cashier, and if someone was being particularly condescending I would push my thumb into any soft produce they were buying so it had a big bruise on it. That showed ’em.
52. The Sandwich Catch Didn’t Go As Planned
It was a tiny victory. I worked at a sandwich shop right down the street from our local high school. One glorious day, I was unable to navigate the crowd of teenagers in the pickup area to make it out to the lobby, so I asked a member of our football team if he could catch his sub. He nodded, smiled, put his hands up for a catch, then turned away. He caught his sub alright. Right upside his head.
53. Smaller Portions And Less Dressing
All of these stories are so wholesome!
My most used treatment for [bad] customers would be to tell the kitchen staff to make their dishes with just a little less food. The restaurant was an Italian place so it didn’t work with pizza or sandwich orders, but [bad] people always used to order pasta.
The pastas came with a side salad, if it was dinner time, and we usually toss our salads unless asked for the dressing on the side. When the [rude customers] were [overweight], I would always ask back of house to put dressing on the side and would go back and pour the dressing myself into the cup, giving them far less dressing than salad. Then I would make myself disappear for just long enough after delivering the salad that they wouldn’t have enough time to ask for more before their food came out. The rest of the meal I would be overly polite to them and go out of my way to make sure their drinks were topped and everything. I always thought the trick was to make them hate the place just a bit in the beginning but have them leave happier. Kind of stupid looking back on it, but it’s the little things that make the night go by faster.
54. Sorry For Your “Weight”
Sometimes I’ll say “sorry for your weight” to impatient people instead of “sorry for your wait.”
If you put just enough emphasis on “weight” you’ll sometimes get a quick little questioning eyebrow furrow. You have to be nice and cheery to them though so they only think you said “weight” for a split second before they think “no, they’re very nice, they wouldn’t say that.”
— Anonymous
55. The Water Tasted A Little Different
When I have a particularly rude table and they’re chugging their water I’ll sometimes put a splash of tonic in there so it tastes just a bit off. It tends to slow them down quite a bit.