40 People Share The Awkward Things They Said That Still Keep Them Up At Night

I’m pretty good at having a normal conversation until something unexpected happens. Then my brain starts saying things like it’s pulling words out of a hat. I’ve thanked people for things they didn’t do and thought about why I did that on the drive home.

Thanks to these people, I’m in good company. They shared their most awkward social moments in the comments of a TikTok, including the little mistakes that probably lasted five seconds but have lived in their heads for years.

Some of these would make me want to move. Others are comforting proof that everyone knows how to embarrass themselves by mistake. Just be glad it wasn’t you today.

1. When You Accidentally Join Someone Else’s Phone Call

I went to Sam’s club last week. It was a feels like temp of 108 and my husband dropped me out front then went to park. I saw 2 benches in the shade. An employee was on one. I walked up and asked if I could sit on the other. She smiled and said of course. She then asked me a few questions I thought were odd but I politely answered her. After the THIRD question I answered she said, hang on someone keeps answering me (as she got up to walk away) and then I realized she was on the PHONE AND NONE OF THE QUESTIONS WERE TO ME.
— TikTok

2. This Is Why You Shouldn’t Shop Alone

One time I drove myself to the store …myself. When I got finished shopping I went to my car and sat in the passenger seat for several minutes until I realized what I’d done. There was a guy waiting in his car and I waited until he drove off to get out bc I was so embarrassed.
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3. What Else Do You Say After That?

One time when I was going through a Starbucks drive-through and the man at the window complimented my seat/steering wheel covers cause they were cow print. And I told him thank you and that I really liked cows we both just stared at each other because I think neither of us knew what to say next so I just said “Moooo” while maintaining eye contact.
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4. The Ice Cream Sample That Still Haunts Them

I went to an ice cream shop, and the server offered me a sample so he scooped a little piece on a small spoon and held it out to me. And instead of taking it off him and trying it, I leaned forward with my mouth open so that he could feed it to me… it’s been like 6yrs and it still haunts me.
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5. A Slightly Hostile Way To Hold The Door

One time I held the door open for someone and they said thank you and instead of no problem, I said “you’re the problem.”
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6. The Patient Was Probably Confused

When I worked as a medical assistant I knocked on the door as I was LEAVING a patient’s room.
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7. Thanking Everyone For The Ride

One time I walked out of an elevator and said thank you to the people that stayed inside it… like it was theirs and they dropped me off.
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8. The Worst Possible Follow-Up

I was talking to a coworker and she made me laugh so hard that I farted. I instantly stopped laughing and turned to her and said “fart 🙁” and she said “ok” and walked away.
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9. An Unfortunate Pharmacy Greeting

When I was working at CVS as a pharmacy intern, I picked up the phone and said “CVS pharmacy, can I hold you??”
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10. Getting To Know The Neighbors

I asked my next door neighbor if they lived around here.
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11. A Door-Holding Misunderstanding

One time I was holding the door open and this guy went to take it from me and I thought he was reaching for a hug. So casually I hugged him.
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12. That Came Out Wrong

I’m a server and a customer told me he’d tip me $100 if I joined his group golfing and I told him I’ve done more for less. Immediate regret. The whole table started laughing. I was so embarrassed.
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13. Customer Service Takes A Turn

I once answered the phone at my customer service job “hi can can you help me?” The customer on the other line said, I don’t think I can.
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14. Politely Declining The Garbage

I was on a bus trip once and someone came around with a garbage bag and said “garbage?”. I said “oh, no thank you” like they were offering me garbage instead of asking if I had anything to throw away.
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15. An Excellent Question For A Barber

I’m a barber, and after I asked a client what he did for work, he asked me the same thing.
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16. Two Years Later, It Still Hurts

I seen someone I knew at my job and they told me ‘oh I didn’t know you work here’ and I said ‘me either’. that was 2 years ago and it still keeps me up at night.
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17. Technically, They Did Have A Bathroom

I was waiting tables at a diner in Manhattan and this lady said “Do you have a bathroom?” And I said “Yes but I live in Brooklyn”.
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18. The Cover-Up Made It Better

In high school I was hanging out with a group of girls and a buddy. Out of nowhere a fart slipped out. They all looked at me and I said “Nah just kidding” lol. 25 years later when I see that buddy, first thing he says is “nah just kidding” lol scared!
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19. The Library Call That Went Off Script

Someone called the library I worked at to ask if they could just show up to a program or if they had to register and my immediate thought was “you can just show up” but I wanted to confirm and instead of saying “can you please hold?” I said “can you please shut up?” in the most customer service voice.
— TikTok

20. All Worries, Apparently

One time I was talking to a customer and they said thank you and I was thinking about saying “it’s all good” and then “no worries” and said “it’s all worries” instead.
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21. Olive Garden’s Mysterious Side Dish

I’m the guy that asked the Olive Garden waitress what a Super Salad was after she asked if I want soup or salad.
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22. When Was The House Born?

I told a homeowner today the water testing depended on what year the house was born.
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23. An Interesting Way To Describe An Appetizer

I work in a restaurant and a guest was considering getting a dish with crab, they ended up getting something else but added an app with crab in it. I said “perfect that scratches your crab itch”
— TikTok

24. The Wendy’s Donation Question Went Wrong

I worked at Wendy’s and at the end of the order we were supposed to ask “would you like to donate a dollar today?” And for some reason it came out of my mouth “would you like to donate your daughter today?”
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25. Taking The Waiter’s Hand

Also, I was out to dinner and the waiter asked us if we’ve ever been there. We said no so he said “allow me to show you” and held his hand out. I put my hand in his and just stared into his eyes in confusion ….. he wanted the menu to walk us through it.
— TikTok

26. We’ve All Been This Customer

Random Wendy’s employee “The fries are hot”

Me: “You too”
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27. Probably The Worst Time To Say “Have Fun”

Someone said they were going to a funeral as they were dressed up. I panicked and said ‘have fun.’
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28. Accidentally Calling The Teacher Mom

One time in high school I had to stand up for a presentation and the teacher accidentally cut me off so I said “mommy I still have to finish” IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS 😭
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29. A Very Familiar Pizza Delivery Goodbye

I ordered pizza a few months ago and the delivery guy said enjoy the rest of your evening, I said thanks love you too.. where the hell that came from, I’ll never know but what I DO know is that I will continue to lose sleep over it for the rest of my life.
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30. The Compliment Was For The Dog

Once when I was at a restaurant with my friend and her dog Peanut I complimented him saying “what a handsome boy” because he was wearing a cute little bowtie. A guy at the table next to us thought I was referring to him, and proceeded to tell me I wasn’t his type.
— TikTok

31. Asking Permission At A Restaurant

I once asked the waitress at some fancy place “can I go to the bathroom?”
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32. Reassurance That Sounded Like The Opposite

An electrician working in my house said “oh sorry, I misunderstood” and I was trying to say both “no worries” and “all good” and instead I looked at him and said “no good.”
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33. Who’s Cutting Whose Back?

I do men’s hair, and a guy walked into the shop and said “hey, you cut my hair last time!” And I said “and you’re back!” (Like hey, I did good work and you came back) but he looked really puzzled and said “no… pretty sure we didn’t do my back..”
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34. The Restaurant Name Became A Problem

When I worked at Black Eyed Pea I had a table once who complimented me quite a bit so I loosened up a little and when I have my little parting thank you while delivering the receipt I said and I quote: aww thank you guys, I’m just trying to show you my black eyed pea-ness.
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35. An Unexpected Response To Condolences

At my grandmother’s funeral one of the men who works at the church was helping us carry the flowers to our car and said “I’m sorry for your loss”. My cousin said “no worries”. I still laugh every time I think about it.
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36. The Badge Got In The Way

One time I was working the cash register at Best Buy and this lady came up and she was wearing a lanyard with a badge on it that said “Some people just need a hug…. She said “hello” and I wanted to respond with “hello how can I help you” but I was reading her badge and I instead said “Hello how can you hug me today?” She stared at me in silence. I stared in silence. It’s been 12 years and I still think about this often…
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37. Asking The Same Stranger Twice

One time I walked into a retail store looking for a job. I asked one of the workers there “hi can I speak to your manager” to which she answered “I don’t work here”. After apologising, I walked around more looking for someone who worked there. Approached another lady, “hi can I speak to your manager?” IT WAS THE SAME PERSON. and no, I didn’t realise it was the same person.
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38. Apologizing For Falling Down The Stairs

One time I fell down the stairs in front of a random group of people and I said “I’m sorry.”
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39. The Total That Was Hard To Say

One time when I worked at Sonic, I gave the customer their total and it was $5.55 and I said “okay your order will be five fivey five” and I’ll never forget.
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40. Answering Before The Question

I went into the gas station to pay and the lady said
“hi” and I said “good” MY BRAIN WAS ALREADY READY FOR THE “how are you” I PRE-FIRED THE ANSWER.
— TikTok