30 People Reveal The Ridiculous Reasons They Were Banned From Somewhere For Life
To be “banned for life” from somewhere sounds serious. Especially if you’re the person doing the banning. Who’s to say this person won’t ever change and one day they’ll be able to act normal at the mall?
There’s a grocery store near my house that plasters high-quality images of everyone who has wronged them in the vestibule, and I love looking at them. Mostly to make sure I didn’t somehow end up on their list.
As far as I know, I’m not banned for life from anywhere, but I have banned myself from the ice cream place that’s walking distance from my house. For health purposes.
These Redditors shared the stories behind their lifetime bans, and a few of these places might want to reconsider who they put in charge of the banning.
1. The Steak Challenge Had To Be Retired For One Customer
My uncle got us banned from a mom and pops diner in the 90’s. The unintended but totally foreseeable consequence of doing their “eat a 72oz steak in under an hour” six goddamn times in two weeks. I know for a fact he does not regret it.
2. Apparently, The Bookstore Wasn’t Interested In Helping Students Save Money
In college, at the local college book store, I attempted to sell some books back to the store. After hearing what the buyback value was, a guy behind me said he’d pay $20 more for my books (he was taking the same course the next semester sand the store’s mark up would by 100%). The bookstore owner warned me if I sold to this other dude, I’d be banned for life. I told him money makes the world go round and took my extra twenty.
3. Their First Visit Somehow Came With A Lifetime Ban
I’m banned from a cafe in a town in North Wales; neither of which I’d been to prior to this experience. I walked in and the guy behind the counter said “You! I’ve told you before! You’re banned!” I said, confusedly “I’ve never been here before”, but he just pointed at the door, so I turned around and left. Almost 30 years ago.
4. Target Didn’t Appreciate This Addition To The Book Display
My college roommate got permabanned from Target for putting Wet Floor signs next to the 50 Shades of Grey display.
5. The Gym Finally Found A Way To Cancel Their Membership
Planet fitness I tried to cancel my contract (this was the 10$ plan which said I could cancel anytime) with them and they said I had to pay 150$ to cancel for god knows that reason. I called my bank to tell them to not let them withdraw from my account since they had my checking account information. My bank said they have multiple situations happen with planet fitness about their Unusual financial practices. 2 months later I got a letter from planet fitness saying I’m banned from ever signing up with them again. Planet fitness is a POS corporation.
6. “Handmade” Was Doing A Lot Of Work In This Pizza Advertisement
There was a roller rink in town that posted on social media that they were having a deal on handmade pizzas and a pitcher of soda to try and drum up business.
The picture clearly showed a digiorno pizza and I commented saying that it was. My comment was deleted, and then I went back to say, “you deleted my comment saying that this is a digiorno pizza.”
RIP stakeland memories of I’d have ever wanted to go.
7. The Lifetime Ban Apparently Had A Shorter Lifespan Than Expected
My cross country teacher got banned from Disneyland “for life” when he was a kid because he and his friends hijacked a canoe at Tom Sawyer’s island.
Dude was like 60 when he was teaching us, he’d been to Disneyland dozens of times since lol.
8. The Massage Chair Worked A Little Too Well
I got banned from Brookstone for falling asleep in the massage chair.
9. This Employee Had A Different Explanation For Getting Fired
Got fired and banned from Lowe’s for not working hard enough. Honestly, if I was gonna lose my job for something, it was climbing the shelves, making myself a little cubicle in the shelves I could sleep in…and stealing hundreds worth of cold brew coffee.
In my defense, however, I had 11-hour overnight shifts. Never again.
10. One Kid Took “All You Can Eat” Seriously
I was banned from a locally owned breakfast buffet as a kid for eating something like 6 really big plates and cleaning the place out of bacon at only 9 a.m.
11. The Store Had A Strange Definition Of Suspicious Behavior
Got banned from a John Lewis (kinda upscale retail gaff in the uk) for browsing items. This was pre covid too. The jobsworth of a guard came up and told me to leave since I was and I quote “just picking stuff up and putting them back again” like no s**t sherlock thats how browsing in a physical store works. So now I’m banned from John Lewis
12. A Lifetime Ban Didn’t Stop Them From Getting Hired
I was banned from a grocery store for shop lifting when I was a kid. I ended up working there like a year or 2 later.
13. Mom Had No Idea She Was Carrying The Evidence
I got my mom banned for life from a local grocery store because apparently when i was 3 or 4 I wanted a toothbrush really bad and when she said no I put the toothbrush in her purse when she wasn’t looking and then she got caught on the way out and banned from the store.
14. Missing Letterman Came With A Surprisingly Serious Warning
I was banned for life from attending Late Night with David Letterman because I cancelled my reservation. I guess it was hard to find people for the audience in freaking New York City? The intern (I assume) who I talked to was very serious: “You should know if you cancel you will never be allowed back. Ever!”
Somehow I got over it.
15. The Squeaky Toy Department Got An Unscheduled Concert
Got banned from my local target because I pressed on a bunch of squeaky toys all at once and caused a noisy disturbance.
16. An Abandoned Car Turned Into A Reason To Avoid An Entire Country
I just got a self imposed banned from Russia, apparently you can’t just leave a car there otherwise you get a very strongly worded letter from the government. Not being able to afford £20k fine and I’m too busy to be imprisoned I think ill just avoid going back.
17. This Chili’s Visit Took A Very Familiar Turn
I got drunk off of other people’s drinks and announced on a microphone that I felt God at this Chili’s.
18. The Fitbit Theft Had A Witness In The Next Stall
Not me, but an ex. He walked into a Best Buy to look at Fitbits. He picked one up, concealed it and walked into the restroom to steal it. What he didn’t know was that a Best Buy employee was in the restroom and heard him opening the package. He walked out of the stall, Fitbit on his wrist and came fact to face with the employee. They charged him and he spent a night in jail. He was most assuredly banned after that.
19. The Library Incident Was Bigger Than An Overdue Book
Not me but a friend was banned from our local library because she was playing around and ended up knocking over all the bookshelves.
20. A Banana Vendor Photoshop Ended Their Commenting Privileges
Banned from commenting on a self proclaimed movie star’s Facebook account. He’s basically a movie critic these days and only made a single super bad movie but according to him, he’s a big shot. In one such post where he was bragging, I replied with a photo of him in which I photoshopped his face on a street vendor selling bananas. Got banned in probably an hour.
21. Choosing This Name Cost Them More Than One Account
I’m banned from Facebook because I named myself “Eric Cartman”. From instagram, the same reason. From Tandem, actually no reason really. When I tried to log in the other day, I was already banned and could no longer sign up.
22. Four Words Were Enough To End Their Fortnite Access
Got banned from r/fortnite for saying “fortnite bad Minecraft good”
23. Club Penguin Had Heard Enough
Got banned from club penguin for cussing
24. The Customer Service Dispute Took An Unfortunate Turn
Tescos – For ripping an enormous fart onto one of the employees who was bent down stacking a shelf. In my defence, this woman had told me to f**k off a few minutes previous when I asked where the Pepsi was.
25. Getting Help At Work Somehow Became A Reason To Be Banned
The prison I used to work at.
I had tried numerous times to receive therapy to treat PTSD I gained while working the job and thanks to the HR taking their vacation was not able to get it and the administrative assistant warden told me, quite literally, “officers don’t need therapy and if they do then they aren’t cut out to be officers” and refused to help me find help.
When they learned (somehow) that I had sought therapy on my own, they attempted to place me on “indefinite administrative leave” citing “officer has conducted themselves in a manner unfitting their position”
So yeah. I sued them and quit and they banned me for life… from their prison.
Okay.
26. They Still Couldn’t Get An Explanation For The Pokémon Go Ban
I got banned from r/pokemongo for spreading misinformation about the COVID vaccine. Which I have never done! Hell I just got my booster shot 3 weeks ago. I sent messages and everything and they won’t respond or unban me.
27. Their Explanation For This Reddit Ban Was Brief
I posted a logical comment on r/conservative
28. The Ban Didn’t Stick, But The Lesson Apparently Did
I stole some cd’s from Best Buy when I was 13. I’ve gone back a million times since my ban. Never stole anything ever again though.
29. They Left The Police Station With Some Unexpected Advice
Was banned from every sainsburys for life. Got arrested for nicking a couple things. Police officer taking my prints at the station was telling me that the ban is unenforceable and not to take any notice of it. So nothing really happened except I’ve grown as a person and no longer do bad things
30. A Pair Of Sunglasses Earned A Ban Four Decades Ago
Sears, I stole a pair of sunglasses 40 years ago