My check engine light turned off by itself, glad he figured out whatever was bothering him.

25 Funniest Tweets We Found This Week While You Were Doing Other Things

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Saturday is when I find out how unrealistic my weekday plans were. All week, I’m telling myself I’ll get everything done this weekend. Then the weekend arrives, and I still have the same personality.

I’ll get to the errands. First, I need to make coffee, something to eat, and a reasonable amount of time to sit there knowing I should get up. That last part can really eat into the afternoon.

If you’re also easing into your responsibilities, I’ve got something for the sitting portion. These are the funniest tweets, collected throughout the week and ready for your Saturday scroll this week. I spent some of my screen time finding them, which means I’m counting it as a productive week.

1.

My elder millennial brain still believes a fresh notebook could turn this entire operation around.
via twitter

2.

A midsummer nightmare you just wipe down the kitchen counter everyday until you die.
via twitter

3.

Protein bars are always labeled something like marshmallow cookies and cream surprise just to taste像.
via twitter

4.

My check engine light turned off by itself, glad he figured out whatever was bothering him.
via twitter

5.

Parents be like “we know everything about you” and it’s just information from when you were 1.
via twitter

6.

Mariana Z tweet image: Netflix needs to stop asking if I'm still watching & start asking if I folded.
via twitter

7.

Tweet shows a woman in a blue denim shirt at a restaurant with a table full of food including beans,.
via twitter

8.

Elisa tweet about child renaming backpack to Jackpack and insisting on proper name.
via twitter

9.

I just saw a billboard that said "grandma still using only fans?" and I stared at it as long as I.
via twitter

10.

Running errands sounds so innocent. Like you’re going to pick up a little parcel and enjoy the sunsh.
via twitter

11.

Nietzsche ki beti tweet: every distance is walkable if you’ve lost your will to live.
via twitter

12.

Caitlin Comeskey tweet about Subway hoagies, image of Fritos Chicken Enchilada Meal sandwich.
via twitter

13.

Sometimes I forget how different men and women are until my boyfriend wears the new jacket I got him.
via twitter

14.

Choosing to sit at the bar at a restaurant so the bartenders know i have the heart of a cowboy.
via twitter

15.

I wish my phone stayed on 97 % as long as the Mississippi US Senate race results.
via twitter

16.

I had a dream last night that my husband brought home coconut flavored creamer instead of my usual.
via twitter

17.

Jane Dashley tweet about a 3 year old using catchphrases awkwardly, example of saying, Welch here go.
via twitter

18.

You aren''t always gonna have a calculus or in your pocket -Lying ass 90s teachers.
via twitter

19.

This nonsensical sentence has entranced me I fear. Every time I sit across from it on the subway ISM.
via twitter

20.

Me at the store: a blue cartoon fish-like character in a grocery aisle looking at shelves.
via twitter

21.

The invention of backup cameras making men no longer required to do that thing where they reach his/.
via twitter

22.

If I'm eating a carrot don't talk to me i can't hear a fucking thing in here.
via twitter

23.

Braised short rib from starbucks. y’all are eating mitch mcconnell.
via twitter

24.

A tweet-style post about watching Disney+ showing Monday Night Football with wife.
via twitter

25.

via twitter