15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read
Here are some of the funniest people on Twitter doing what they do best. Tweeting.
https://twitter.com/daplusk/status/208914104788852736
If I had a time machine i'd go back & give cavemen some crackers & beer so that I don't have to ever hear about the Paleo diet again.
— denise (@Stellacopter) May 31, 2015
https://twitter.com/davetotheross/status/610863834459410434
https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/599632121490210818
Don't worry, you're not dying alone. Your exes are all there watching it happen on social media.
— moody monday (@mdob11) June 2, 2015
https://twitter.com/MaryKoCo/status/605263675604135936
https://twitter.com/youranalogbuddy/status/585270624022568960
I've spent 30 years thinking about how Molly Ringwald's sushi lunch in The Breakfast Club was sitting in a warm library for 4 hours.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) August 22, 2014
https://twitter.com/vornietom/status/610960553175941120
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
— tim donakowski (@timdonakowski) November 4, 2013
https://twitter.com/thetigersez/status/610630452651540481
Hey Lean Cuisine don't tell me to cook something at 50% power and then stir it, I'm not a master chef.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 9, 2015
the cashier at Petsmart just told me I smell really good which would be a compliment if my competition wasn't a bunch of dogs and gerbils
— Kristen Drum (@kristendrum) April 2, 2015
my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) April 30, 2015
I can't afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 15, 2015