15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

Please take a moment to read these excellent tweets. Thank you.

https://twitter.com/SortaBad/status/851217395704242176

DENTIST: use this razor string to saw your gums. I call it "floss"
ME: dude this hurts. I'm bleeding
DENTIST: you should do it more, then

— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) April 25, 2017

[getting an x-ray]
TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest.
ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.

— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) July 15, 2016

https://twitter.com/abbycohenwl/status/852345302656798720

https://twitter.com/bourgeoisalien/status/647753689877356545

This is why you don't buy things when you're drunk, pic.twitter.com/pdUQGoY2gQ

— Shervin  (@ShervinSinatra) March 2, 2016

https://twitter.com/EdgarAllanLo/status/557063404004073472

I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do

— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) March 15, 2016

https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/585934941872992257

https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/748237425223282688

https://twitter.com/drhappyknuckles/status/861082468895543296

https://twitter.com/warmyellowlight/status/632997007246798848

https://twitter.com/howe007/status/370052710789554176

Right after you burn popcorn in the microwave at work pic.twitter.com/P99GdhBYSb

— Jeremy ButtShaker (@iLikeCatShirts) April 30, 2017

https://twitter.com/themiltron/status/858776498387525632
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