15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

I’ve been on twitter for about 6 years now, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to find hilarious jokes for this list every week. You’d think I’d run out at some point, but nope. Twitter is a bottomless well of jokes (and lot’s of other not so great stuff lately) but mostly jokes, and it is my absolute pleasure to bring you this list every week. I assure you it is as much fun for me to make as it is for you to read. So thank you for continuing to read this, because it means I get to continue putting it together. Please enjoy this week’s roundup, and always remember: retweets mean everything.

1.

https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/963254346887688193

2.

lacroix is like drinking sprite with a condom

— jaboukie (@jaboukie) February 13, 2018

3.

This sentence sounds like it’s from a book report by a 4th grader pic.twitter.com/fptHqlVwYW

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) February 13, 2018

4.

https://twitter.com/Gooooats/status/963060472432898048

5.

https://twitter.com/archaeoRattus/status/963069526807138304

6.

ME: (ordering for my date) What do you recommend for the lady?
HOT DOG VENDOR: Hot dogs.

— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) February 12, 2018

7.

https://twitter.com/chaeronaea/status/962563533073416192

8.

Alexa, update my enemies list

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 13, 2018

9.

https://twitter.com/BoringEnormous/status/963341381430333440

10.

https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/960549011617996800

11.

https://twitter.com/behindyourback/status/960094099436122112

12.

https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/362367268233019392

13.

https://twitter.com/bornmiserable/status/957467326051360769

14.

I hit a deer last night. It died instantly. I feel awful, but when I'm jogging I'm in my own world.

— Dan Ewen Ⓥ (@VaguelyFunnyDan) June 20, 2012

15.

https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/955284835915874305