15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

Let these great tweets distract you from the endless barrage of pain that is humanity…

Last Week’s Funny Tweets–>

17 responses to 15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

  1. the reason why 80´s bands play music quieter and quieter at the end of the song is so they can fade into the next song on the album/radio

    1. If you turn it up during the fade-out of the title track to the Zoot Allures album, you can hear the beginning of a beautiful guitar solo.

    2. An easier way to make it last forever is to just hear one line from the song and get it stuck in your head.

      I should know.


  2. I would dominate on “So You Think You Can Dad”.

    All I would do is apply and get on the show up until it’s half way through and come onto the set drunk screaming that your mom’s a whore.

    Or is that just me?

  3. Humpty Dumpty was a commentary on the political struggles of the era. The thing is the King DIDN’T want to save Humpty, but he couldn’t let it be known that he stood by and did nothing while beloved icon Humpty Dumpty lay in pieces. So he sent a bunch of horses who, hooves and all, would not only be unable to save Humpty but hinder any efforts to do so.

    It was an effective strategy because case in point: how many of you suspected the king’s intentions despite his obvious poor choice in medical personnel?

    1. I actually read that it wasn’t about an egg. But rather about a person called Humpt Dumpt. No one knew if he was wearing a belt or a necktie.

      1. So who did it? An eggs-tremist terrorist splinter shell? Someone trying to free the people from the yolk of oppression? He might have been saved if the king’s crack squad could have scrambled quicker.

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