15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

Welcome to another list of funny internet words from strangers.

Last Week’s Funny Tweets–>

18 responses to 15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read

    1. Bob is considered that a thief stole his car and replaced it with two pigeons, and this upsets him as he has an urgent appointment for lunch and there’s no way he can make it on foot.

    1. Nah, they don’t even always have up-to-date information on the emergencies they’re responding to, much less ones going on elsewhere.

  1. Norman Borlaug: I saved over a billion lives by genetically modifying food and allowed people to grow thriving crops in all regions of the world.

    Food Hippies: Yeah, but at what cost? You’ve released Frankinfood on us all and you don’t have any idea what it could do! What if the potatoes become people and murder us all!

    Nobel Foundation: Norman Borlaug is the greatest human being who ever lived.

    Food Hippies: DOWN WITH GMO’S!

    Third World Countries: FOOD! AT LAST! PRECIOUS FOOD!

    Food Hippies: Don’t eat that! It’s poisonous!

    Dictators of Third World Countries: You heard them, throw it all away!

    Food Hippies: We did it! We really made a difference!

    Third World Countries: I’m so hungry.

    Food Hippies: Yeah, I’m really in touch with the world. Let’s go have a celebratory dinner at that vegan bristro. $50 a plate sounds like a fair deal.

      1. Later at the Monsanto leadership meeting: Tell them the truth, the seeds won’t hurt them at all. But omit he part about what round-up does to you when the farmer drenches it in round-up because *we* didn’t put the round up on it. Just like we didn’t put round-up in the drinking water, we just sell the stuff.

  2. The waiting for the parking space because I am eating lunch in my car alone. I’ve done that before. The person actually came up and knocked on my window and asked if I was leaving soon. I said, ‘No, I work here and am just eating my lunch.’ She got really pissed and told me I should eat inside like normal people would. *I was eating in my car because I was trying to get away from the people inside that I had to deal with all day. You know, like her. 🙂

  3. That last guy apparently lived in my town. We have pedestrian laws like that, and they are a gigantic nuisance. Drivers have to slam on their brakes constantly, because these idiots will just step off the curb without looking.

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