Tag Archives: parody

(note: This is an updated version of an early post from waaay back in the day when PJs was mostly text-based humor. I may start reposting the best of these when I don’t have time to make something new.)

Where are all my things?

They have been sold to fund the Timlothian cause (praise Tim). If, Tim forbid, any items have been deemed unsellable (photographs, keepsakes, beanie babies, etc.), well, then they were probably lost in the move. No worries though, your regulation neck cone and smock (one size fits all) are the only possessions you will need from now on.

My neck cone makes it difficult to eat. Am I missing something?

I am afraid not. Unfortunately, cumbersome eating is a necessary side effect of your neck cone. Specialized elongated spoons are provided at each meal, but otherwise you will just have to deal. Unless, of course, you’d rather delay the amplification process and postpone ultimate enlightenment for everyone. Then, by all means, remove your neck cone during mealtime (kidding. NEVER REMOVE YOUR NECK CONE FOR ANY REASON).

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