Jeff Wysaski
Name: Glowbo
- Reason for discharge: stole Fizzy Lifting Drink
- Date of employment: 1974 to 1975
- Current location: VP of Slugworth Industries
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Name: Fluffet
- Reason for discharge: pushed a fat kid into the chocolate river
- Date of employment: 1976 to 1978
- Current location: incarcerated at Rikers Island Maximum Security Prison
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Name: Smudgie
- Reason for discharge: couldn’t sing; messed up choreography of dance number
- Date of employment: 1978 o 1978
- Current location: “Senior Elf” at Santa’s Happy Village in Des Moines. Iowa
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Name: Poofer
- Reason for discharge: embezzled cocoa beans
- Date of employment: 1977 to 1982
- Current location: out on probation, serves as a consultant for Nestle
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Name: Winx
- Reason for discharge: When asked to work on Saturday, flipped off Mr. Wonka
- Date of Employment: 1996 to 1998
- Current Location: Professional skateboarder
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Name: Uzzie
- Reason for discharge: Improperly touching a guest during de-juicing process
- Date of employment: 1971 to 1971
- Current Location: Deceased
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Name: Zumph
- Reason for discharge: sex with goose
- Date of employment: 1985 to 1988
- Current location: returned to Loompaland, where animal husbandry laws are more lax
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