Jeff Wysaski
Wonder Woman, you parked your invisible plane in my spot again. Backed the Batmobile right into it. You owe me a new bumper – Batman
Hulk, we have a front door for a reason. Please stop smashing through my bedroom wall. And I don’t care how long Hawkman said you could crash on the couch, you need to get out. Thanks, Green Lantern.
Everyone, RENT IS DUE! I’m not paying it all again. Either get your alter ego a job or get out – Batman
Hey Flash – STOP EATING MY HOT POCKETS! – Martian Manhunter
Marvin, Wonderdog took a shit on my jumpsuit again. If you can’t take care of that dog I swear to God I’m going to slingshot him into the stratosphere – Plastic Man
Green Lantern, I borrowed that pretty ring of yours for my date last night (matched my outfit). I’m so sorry, but I left it at the restaurant and they couldn’t find it when I called them this morning– my bad. Here’s $10 to replace. Thanks, Black Canary
Hawkman, please stop trimming your feathers over the toilet. Or at least clean them off the toilet seat when you’re done. I’m sick of wiping those course little things off with toilet paper every time I need to take a dump – The Flash
Who peed in the pool? – Aquaman
Robin, can you and Batman PLEASE keep it down at night? All that banging is keeping me up and you know I have to get up early for work – Wonder Woman
Moving back to the Fortress of Solitude. Screw you all – Superman
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