Jeff Wysaski
Do you remember a time in your life when your math homework was the biggest concern in your life? Are you sick of the responsibilities of earning a paycheck and paying your bills? Have you ever wanted to relive your days of youth, even if just for a day?
If so, then chances are you’re looking to relive your awkward teen years. Sure these bumbling, gawky years of existence had a few downsides, but all in all it was a great time of discovery, growth and independence in your life. If you want to enjoy these bygone days of yesteryear, then simply follow these easy steps:
Shave Your Chest Hair
Remember how exciting it was to see those first few sprouts of body hair growing on your chest? Well, that feeling of “becoming a man” (or woman) can be all yours again with a few strokes of a razor. With a smooth chest, armpits and “other” regions, you’ll truly feel like a kid all over again. Then, as the hair starts to grow back, you can proudly march around your home and swimming pool with your shirt off to show everyone how mature you are becoming.
Get Braces for Your Teeth
No accessory is more associated with the awkward teen years than braces. Cover those pearly white teeth of yours with a mouth full of metal, and you’ll instantly be transported back to a simpler time. Not only will you look younger, but you’ll also FEEL younger thanks to the constant barrage of insults thrown at you by co-workers, family and friends. It’s been a long time since you’ve been made fun of for your appearance, hasn’t it? Well with those retorts of “brace face” and “metal mouth” being shot at you from friends and co-workers, you’ll feel like you’re back in 8th-grade gym class all over again!
Wear a New Kids on the Block T-Shirt
Reliving your awkward years isn’t just about a hairless body and a mouth full of crooked teeth. It’s also about awkward fashion choices. To dress the part of an awkward teen, consider pulling your favorite under-sized concert t-shirt out of your memorabilia box. Other good fashion options might include:
- Your old letterman’s jacket
- Pigtails
- A pair of your older brother’s pants
- Boy Scout uniform
- Hammer pants
Get Boners All the Time (and for No Reason)
Remember when it took nothing more than a few bumps in the road to give you an embarrassing erection? While going back to those exciting first years of sexual discovery is never going to happen, you can relive those enjoyable days of puberty by getting boners all the time and for no reason whatsoever (ladies, feel free to skip this step). For added enjoyment, refuse to get out of your chair the next time the boss asks you to come up and give your PowerPoint presentation.
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