Jeff Wysaski
If you think getting old is a bad thing, think again. I mean, just look at all the awesome things we have to look forward to…
1. You won’t have to walk anywhere, ever:
2. You’ll be rocking that sweet Medicare, so you’ll be fit as a fiddle:
3. You’ll have plenty of time to relive your childhood:
4. Or pursue new hobbies, like this:
5. Or this:
6. You’ll be able to complain about this sign:
7. You can blame your brain farts on being old:
8. You can wear whatever you want and people will still think you’re “adorable”:
9. Work won’t get in the way of playing with your friends all day:
10. Any picture you take will instantly be 300% more awesome:
11. You’ll have earned your street cred:
12. You’ll finally have time to start your career as a superhero:
13. Or at the very least, become a neighborhood security guard:
14. You’ll get to be the kid and your kids will have to be the adults:
15. You’ll finally reach the fourth stage of life:
16. You’ll be short on time, so you can cut corners:
17. You can put that new hip to good use:
18. You’ll be able to sit wherever you damn well please:
19. Your birthday cake will keep you warm at night:
20. No one suspects the little old lady:
21. So you’ll be free to tear shit up without the repercussions of getting caught:
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