Jeff Wysaski
For a show that was initially considered immoral and a bad influence by plenty of parents back in the 1990s, The Simpsons really has given us a lot of great advice over the years. Of course, I suppose it’s not ALL good…
1. Don’t lie to your mother:
2. How to succeed in business:
3. It’s not a good idea to just sit and watch TV all day:
4. Smoking is not sexy:
5. Always drink plenty of Malk:
6. No one wants to see your 500-photo vacation slideshow:
7. Arranged marriages can work:
8. Sometimes, it’s okay to brag about your accomplishments:
9. Alcohol is both the problem and the solution:
10. Sex sells:
11. Listen to your parents’ advice, but don’t follow it blindly:
12. Smarch has lousy weather:
13. Do not touch Willie:
14. Ignorance is bliss:
15. Don’t over think it, the simplest solution is often the right one:
16. How to say Grace:
17. ‘Embiggens’ is a perfectly cromulent word:
18. Always know where the ‘ANY’ key is on a keyboard:
19. Your parents had a completely different life before you came along:
20. Yoko Ono ruins everything:
21. Never turn your back on your sugar pile, not even for a second:
22. ‘Die’ means ‘The’ in German:
23. Don’t take things at face value:
24. No matter how much you want to, you can’t turn back time:
25. At the end of the day, it’s nice to come home to the people you love:
…And by that last one, I mean The Simpsons. Not my family.
(okay, them too)
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