Mike
Please enjoy this list of musings from some of Twitter’s finest.
https://twitter.com/Themurderboner/status/701961088573820931
https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/433705779657334784
People say underwear models are usually dumb. Well, they figured out a career where they don't have to wear pants at work. Who's smart now?
— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) February 26, 2016
*wakes up drenched in sweat*
WAS BINGO THE FARMER OR THE DOG?— greg (@GrowlyGrego) June 4, 2014
Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/WookieOnUnicorn/status/331837088045608961
https://twitter.com/LostCatDog/status/701399821710729216
im on my knees, pleading with my math teacher to let us do subtraction in class. she says addition is more important but i beg to differ
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) February 22, 2016
All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast.
— Scott Linnen (@ScottLinnen) August 4, 2014
MATHMETICIAN: You’re acute
TRIANGLE: I have a boyfriend— Paige (@PeachCoffin) February 20, 2016
https://twitter.com/kashanacauley/status/689908176767025152
*tries to impress date by ordering in Spanish at Taco Bell*
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) November 20, 2015
https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/702655910557020160
https://twitter.com/nickmullen/status/189937641322577920
if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points
— hawk (@hawktherapper) April 20, 2014