Jeff Wysaski
Here are some well-crafted jokes from some fine folks on Twitter…
My ex said I was the most jealous man she knew…
Confirming my suspicions about her knowing other men.
— Ben (@0point5twins) May 21, 2015
[wakes up with a hangover] uhh what happened last night
[Carrot Top in bed beside me] Good morning
[Me] Carrot Top my love, what happened— Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) March 11, 2016
if you order a mcflurry 8 days in a row that's called a mcturbo and they have to let you see the shed where they keep grimace
— lil jon lovitz(?) (@liljonlovitz) March 8, 2016
https://twitter.com/vineyille/status/702152162583977985
men, this tweet is for US GUYS ONLY! NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS TWEET! WELCOME TO THE TESTOSTER-ZONE!! do you guys ever get sad
— g0m.bsky.social (@g0m) October 20, 2012
https://twitter.com/therealeatwood/status/687310337557815297
"I'm a total nerd. I like Star Wars, the most popular movie franchise of all time."
— Andrew Michaan (@AndrewMichaan) May 4, 2015
If Jesus appears to you, ask him to bevel cut a jack rafter onto a door header. If he doesn't know what you mean, that's an imposter Jesus.
— Shane (@Shanehasabeard) February 22, 2015
—You a private eye?
That’s what the blue neon sign says out front.
—It’s argon. Neon glows orange.
V.O.: From the start, she was trouble.
— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) October 27, 2015
https://twitter.com/onetricktofani/status/599221488932257792
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/662113199999819776
[i find an extra chicken nugget in my meal] my father spoke of a prophecy
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) April 29, 2015
It's fitting that we set the clocks forward during Women's History Month because it's progress but a lot of people complain about it.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/697371156962287616
The minute I even contemplate wearing a white shirt, 11 jars of salsa fall from the sky and spill on it and then it catches on fire
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 17, 2016