Mike
Treat yourself to this list of excellent tweets.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/582581560924250112
All of my tattoos mean something. For example, the Chumbawamba lyrics on my rib cage mean I don't drink tequila anymore.
— Napcore Influencer (@SortaBad) May 11, 2016
the first day of prison walk straight up to the biggest, toughest guy there and just hold him. he's under enormous pressure. ask if he's ok.
— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) May 17, 2016
*makes snow angel motions in bed every morning tryna find phone*
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) January 10, 2015
Batman is actually just a goth cop
— rachel (@rachelmillman) July 20, 2012
https://twitter.com/aligarchy/status/607673841423282176
https://twitter.com/jazmasta/status/521777906218196992
https://twitter.com/online_shawn/status/650458149539999744
CAPTAIN AMERICA: *punches guy* Take that villain
CAPTAIN BRITAIN: *punches guy* Take that guvnor
CAPTAIN CANADA: *punches guy* I am so sorry— Dr. Bucky Isotope, why am I here, am I even real? (@BuckyIsotope) January 30, 2015
Houston, we have a problem, I have the space hornies
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) June 11, 2015
https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/379421573650079744
https://twitter.com/DustinAHarkins/status/408274468365029376
[phone sex with a psychic] "Tell me what I'm wearing."
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) June 17, 2015
Invite your co-workers over for a barbleque. Barbleque isn't a word so if they show up don't let them in. Trust no one.
— Dick Chiclets (@DrGhostbaby) September 7, 2013
https://twitter.com/ibid78/status/690622226148667393