Mike
Welcome to the jungle, we have lists and tweets.
me: I have a bachelors degree
waiter: so do I
bus boy: so do I
rat feeding on crumbs under the table: hey me too— erica (@erica_rosie) February 21, 2016
What are you hiding in your locked instagram? sandwiches? Sunsets???? let us see your nephew!!!!
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) September 27, 2016
bury me in my cubicle so i can take your call in hell
— meatshirt (@prettysadmostly) September 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/d_haggar/status/775893447441920000
https://twitter.com/ReneeColvert/status/357908688746463232
https://twitter.com/NicCageMatch/status/778659688191762432
Comedy is a balancing act in which you test which of your worst attributes are adorable enough to be your brand.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 19, 2016
https://twitter.com/BrandonEsWolf/status/776828828052316161
Sometimes I practice smiling in the mirror in case something good ever happens to me.
— chelsea anét (@chelseaanet) September 20, 2016
Quit saying you love fall and just say "I have weird legs."
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) September 22, 2016
https://twitter.com/Kendragarden/status/765556867460239360
https://twitter.com/Yassir_Lester/status/778424745247203328
https://twitter.com/WigCannon/status/601528856059760641
Teens, if you work hard and pursue your dreams you too can have a total of 90 minutes of free time every 24 hours.
— Mrs. Donald Darko (@LadyBroseph) October 13, 2015
https://twitter.com/kashanacauley/status/730440915383398400