15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should Read
You like tweets? I got tweets.
Results are in: a lot of people took the "never change" yearbook inscription way too seriously.
— Amanda (@Manda_like_wine) July 28, 2015
When I enjoy baseball pic.twitter.com/YbnYwCHs3V
— Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) September 13, 2015
https://twitter.com/meganshpettit/status/426055105679343616
https://twitter.com/behindyourback/status/581646920830955520
https://twitter.com/ziwe/status/716711232380780548
If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard.
— denise (@Stellacopter) November 12, 2015
*wakes up in cold sweat*
SHOULDN'T ELEVATORS BE CALLED SOMETHING ELSE ON THE WAY DOWN?— greg (@GrowlyGrego) June 23, 2014
https://twitter.com/justaride/status/779088539623395328
My phone just fell down a flight of stairs, but it's ok, it was in my pocket.
— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) May 27, 2015
Daily reminder that everyone around you is going through some type of struggle and you should find out what it is and use it against them.
— Enrique Shockwave (@UNDEADTRESOR) September 16, 2016
This cape is reversible but my decision to wear it to the custody hearing is not.
— ceej (@ceejoyner) March 25, 2015
Woman asked how I wanted my burger done and I was like, just do the best you can, you know? That's all that can be expected of any of us.
— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) February 17, 2014
https://twitter.com/KeetPotato/status/703665739413254145
If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 14, 2013
After the Titanic sank, rich people got their revenge by spending the last hundred years melting all the icebergs.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 15, 2012