Mike
Yet another weekly list of hilarious tweets to jumpstart your Monday.
Last night I went to a hardware store with my dad and a lady was leaving the store with a shovel and my dad yelled UH OH SHOVEL TIME at her
— demiurge moore (@online_shawn) February 10, 2017
You know you're pale when you walk up to someone wearing transition lenses and their lenses go dark.
— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) August 25, 2016
https://twitter.com/hippieswordfish/status/871862397392343040
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: omg is anyone a doctor?
ME: *stands up confidently and turns to flight attendant* you forgot my Diet Coke— rob elliott (@rockymomax) June 4, 2017
I'll never forget the time my watch stopped working
— Spazio🇵🇸 (@Spaziotwat) February 19, 2016
Sometimes I order pizza delivery just so someone sees me in my underwear.
— mustard clown (@markydoodoo) April 29, 2017
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) May 28, 2013
https://twitter.com/living_marble/status/716071319410880512
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that's your ghost outfit forever.
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) January 21, 2015
https://twitter.com/AbrasiveGhost/status/801119552151109632
Hi, welcome to assumptions club. I think we all know why we're here.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 9, 2017
https://twitter.com/BrandonEsWolf/status/871873428021796865
I got fired from subway for pretending I was hosting a cooking show
— brent (@murrman5) May 28, 2017
https://twitter.com/aligarchy/status/586290074192584704
https://twitter.com/miel/status/859829927281020929
Last Week’s Funny Tweets–>