Mike
Please enjoy this list of very fine tweets.
https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/433705779657334784
[gently takes the Spider-Man franchise outside using a cup and piece of paper]
There you go, little buddy. You're free now.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) July 14, 2017
https://twitter.com/aligarchy/status/555870354346745856
Look at you, putting your bag of popcorn into a bowl like the Queen of England.
— jess (retired) (@jessokfine) December 8, 2014
https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/499414504632229888
https://twitter.com/bourgeoisalien/status/730794603331354626
https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/859928507463368704
https://twitter.com/WGladstone/status/786558758356934657
https://twitter.com/Flora__Flora/status/880501457740496901
Always a bridesmaid, never the Brideslord, summoning the nation's brides to war with a mighty blast of the brideshorn.
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) June 15, 2016
https://twitter.com/CelebrityChez/status/521829552662671360
Rejected Pixar Movie Titles:
House Float
Find My Fish Son
Automobile People
A Rat Cooked This
Ugh, We Gotta Find Another Fish— kim (@KimmyMonte) June 22, 2017
DATE: oh u have an eyelash on ur cheek [picks it up] make a wish
ME (under my breath): i wish u wouldn't touch my property— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) July 16, 2017
"Sorry just got your text!" – the Great Lie upon which our society rests.
— Jeff Loveness (@JeffLoveness) August 9, 2013
[at the gates of Hell]
Me: [swipes card to enter]
Satan: it's a chip
— #1 samir (@samir) November 6, 2016