Mike
I hope you like tweets, because I got you these 15 great ones, and if you don’t read them I’ll just have to throw them out. There are less fortunate people out there who would love to read these tweets. Just saying.
1.
https://twitter.com/Leemanish/status/666660912024018944
2.
https://twitter.com/senderblock23/status/525112904803426305
3.
As long as there are parrot cages, print media will survive
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 18, 2016
4.
I wish catalog models could do one pose with bad posture, looking awkward and self-conscious, so I'd know how the outfit would look on me
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) September 22, 2017
5.
https://twitter.com/NicCageMatch/status/908175556092538880
6.
Once every ten years a traffic light will turn blue. There are 7 drivers who know what to do.
— moonwolf 3 (@malt_skull) August 3, 2017
7.
Wind chimes, but it's hot dogs. The soothing sound of wind meat
— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) September 25, 2017
8.
https://twitter.com/Barknado69/status/815783497491156992
9.
[being buried alive]
murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
— marf (@MarfSalvador) September 27, 2017
10.
Age 10: I'm going to be a rockstar
Age 20: I might learn an instrument someday
Age 30: I hope a piano lands on me— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) August 9, 2017
11.
https://twitter.com/novixv/status/718631838827352064
12.
*sees baby*
*crouches down, does some cute baby talk*
*no reaction from baby*
*stands up slowly*
You've made a powerful enemy today, baby— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) May 23, 2015
13.
"Congrats" is my favorite because it says "I'm happy for you, but not happy enough to write a 15 letter word. Let's not get crazy"
— jess (retired) (@jessokfine) May 12, 2016
14.
https://twitter.com/mikefossey/status/717167386588278785
15.
https://twitter.com/mikefossey/status/592169335667486720
Last Week’s Funny Tweets–>