16.
god: u gotta build a boat
noah: can't u build ur own boat.. i mean, ur god
god: [nervously] no i can i just wanna see if u know how— chuuch (@ch000ch) May 31, 2015
17.
18.
god: u gotta build a boat
noah: can't u build ur own boat.. i mean, ur god
god: [nervously] no i can i just wanna see if u know how— chuuch (@ch000ch) May 31, 2015
19.
20.
I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
— Miss Leah (@LeahsLounge) September 23, 2014
21.
22.
Me: I know you from somewhere
Jesus: I get that a lot
Me: no I'm sure
Jesus: just one of those faces
Me: [holding arms out] go like this
— Nate Usher (@thenatewolf) October 26, 2015
23.
24.
[in heaven after crucifixion]
jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"
god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) January 15, 2015
25.
26.
[last supper]
drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!?— dan mentos (@DanMentos) February 4, 2015
27.
"Welcome to McDonald's, what'll it be?"
Jesus whispering "5000 Filet-o-fish, and hurry"
"5000 FILETS DAN"
J "Shh, keep yr fuckin voice down"— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 29, 2015
28.
Jesus only had 12 followers nigga musta had trash tweets
— Baphomet (@AnUglyNigga) September 23, 2013
29.
30.
Noah: Two? Why two of every animal?
[God whispers in Noah's ear]
Noah: nice lol— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) March 30, 2015